HELP!! ADVICE....Saying NO to pioneering

by Kristofer 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • Kristofer

    I have a female friend who I've been discussing the religion with. She definitely has doubts about the org but isn't sure on leaving just yet as she has still got about 6 months to go being a minor dependent on the parents.
    Lately, she's been getting heavy pressure to start pioneering.
    She really doesn't want to pioneer but isn't sure how to tell the Elders and was wondering if she could get disfellowshipped for doing so...
    Does anyone have advice on how to respond to the Elders without brining on the heat?

    Could she be disfellowshipped?

  • Finally-Free

    No, she can't be df'd just because she doesn't want to pioneer. She should tell the elders that when she sees ALL of the elders, ALL of the elders wives, and ALL of the elders children pioneer she'll think about it - not before. Most elders encourage pioneering, but very few do it.

    Also, the word "pioneer" does not appear in the bible, nor is there a first century Christian equivalent of "pioneer". It is a man-made position in the organization that has no biblical precedent.


  • SirNose586

    Refusing to pioneer won't get you DF'd. But it will garner your friend some unwanted scrutiny. They are going to make her feel like she's "spiritually weak" or some other nonsense. There's no way to say no and not get harassed about it.

  • glitter

    She won't be disfellowshipped, but I can see it aking her look "bad" and "weak".

    I'd recommend she develops "depression" or "migraines" or something - something they can't disprove.

  • Kristofer

    Is there anything else she can say to keep the peace?

  • Hecklerboy

    That's easy. She just needs to tell them she's having female problems like chronic bleeding and they will shut up real fast.

  • Finally-Free
    Is there anything else she can say to keep the peace?

    I don't see how she can keep the peace without giving in to the pressure. Even faking an illness won't take the pressure off. A real illness won't take the pressure off either - it only prompts elders to give unsolicited, unqualified medical advice. Elders believe there is only one correct choice - the one they recommend. Any deviation from that is wrong. There are 2 ways to get them off your back - either obey them or tell them in no uncertain terms to back off and stop interfering in your personal choices. Anything less will ensure their continued nagging. Until your friend is prepared to put the elders in their place she will have to put up with the pressure, and it will increase. If there's one thing the elders hate, it's someone who won't unquestioningly obey them, especially if it's a woman. W

  • candidlynuts

    since pioneering is VOLUNTARY she could tell them she knows how to apply and if she decides to do it they'll know when they get her application

  • Joe Grundy
    Joe Grundy

    Tell people she's worried that she may have endometrosis. It would take way past her majority to diagnose properly, and if anyone really wants to know she can let her imagination run riot with 'female' symptoms. If her accounts are inconsistent she can put it down to embarrassment.

  • Quandry

    Could she get a job or look to further her education? Pressure is not a good reason to do anything. I''m with the poster who said that elders are always encouraging pioneering but are the ones who seldom do it themselves.

Share this