by Inquisitor 23 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
(1)How many of you out there, back when you were still a JW, heard the bros say "Yeah the cong is a little cold cos of <insert scapegoat here>, but there is genuine love among the country congs/ the foreign lang congs etc??"
(2)How did you respond to that remark? Did you accept that concession or did the absence of unpretentious love in your cong continue to bother you?
And (3) did you discover that "the grass" was truly "greener on the other side (i.e. other congs)"?
INQ
This was a big issue for me. Being born in and doing a lot of travelling, I got to spend time with different congregations. Just visiting a congregation was encouraging, because of the warmth and welcome by the local brothers. But once you got to stay a little longer you got to see the same problems you find in your home congregation. Everywhere there was gossip, gossip, gossip and there was no way of not getting involved, not to mention the big problems.
My experience was that the foreign-language congregation had a warmer atmosphere, but also more fanatic elders. I don’t know who this fits together, but that was my observation. Foreign-language groups tend to have poorer and less educated members, especially among the adults. In many of their home countries the lack of education was not due to lack of interest but due to the lack of possibility.
The lack of love becomes very evident through the visit of the CO. Especially during the service week, but also the weeks before, the whole atmosphere changes. Brothers who normally don’t speak to each other would stand together and chat for the CO to see it. Elders are ever so warm and interested to be encouraging to you. And soon after the CO is gone the cold breeze returns.
Freetosee
We used to have a loving cong. when I was a kid. But then all these moveins came and the whole atmosphere changed. A lot of people had trouble in their halls, and since we live in the beautiful mountains of NC, people moved in bringing their problems to us. How nice. Lots of elders with issues have moved in and totally ruined our hall.
ex perf..did you go to MY hall?
thats what happened at ours.. PRE - move in elders , we had fellowship and nice gatherings, no one thought anything about just dropping in on another kingdom hall member
post-move in elders you had to have a certain amount of time turned in to qualify for any kind of invitation. no more saturday night sing alongs.. no more pot lucks... just suspicion and backbiting
a group of self righteous ones who made sure everyone knew when they'd missed an EVENT, and a group who just were trying to please god and do what they were supposed to.(and a group of teens that would sneak out of state once a month to go " canoeing" and drink and smoke pot and carouse....elders kids for the most part LOL)
it'd be interesting to figure out what year this happened , and find out if it was a organization wide effort to make changes.
For the longest time, I was convinced that any "lack of love" was a "local problem" in isolated congregations, due to certain personalities, and that it did not reflect the overall status of the organization as a whole. Having grown up in a single congregation for over a decade, and being "love bombed" when visiting other More Spiritual™ congregations only tended to reinforce that belief.
However, since then, I've been a member of half a dozen congregations since then, the blinders have come off and the "lack of love" is quite obviously a systemic problem rather than a matter of being an unfortunate string of "isolated" "local problems".
Some JWs refuse to see it though, and are on that quest to find the elusive Spiritual Paradise™, that amazingly loving congregation that will allow their spirituality to flourish. They'll move from one area to another in search of it, even after being disappointed in one place after another, believing that such a place actually exists.
I don't want to propogate a stereotype but I did experience a much more caring atmosphere in the few italian congregations I grew up in. They were mostly first generation immigrants and they were close knit because they had alot in common. After these were dissolved and we were sent to the english speaking congregations, I found little genuine concern and a whole lotta leeching. True...there was more socio-economic and cultural diversities which made a congregation wide bonding less likely. But I'm still utterly amazed at how many witnesses were around to ask all sorts of favours of you in the name of brotherly love, but how little there are when you may need to ask something of them.
Growing up, the first cong in Houston we attended when my folks were studying was very cold. We then moved to the country, and since my parents were new JWs, there was still some love bombing. That people in that cong were poor, but helpful and social. Every cong. I 've been in since then has been suburban, and they were all cool to cold.
I don't want to propogate a stereotype but I did experience a much more caring atmosphere in the few italian congregations I grew up in. After these were dissolved and we were sent to the english speaking congregations, I found little genuine concern and a whole lotta leeching. I'm utterly amazed at how many witnesses are around to ask all sorts of favours of you in the name of brotherly love, but how little there are when you may need to ask something of them.
When you can't get to the Hall and there's no one to ride with at all, That's Agapé
When you find that your saved seat was taken over in a heartbeat, That's Agapé
(with apologies to Dean Martin....)
LOL
I wish I had you in some of the congregations I was in Scully!!!
