My Mother's Going Back

by serotonin_wraith 11 Replies latest social family

  • serotonin_wraith

    She hasn't bothered with the JWs for about 10 years, now she's having bible studies with them again. I'm caught now between wanting her to see what a big crock of shit it is and thinking what right do I have to attack someone's beliefs if it makes them happy? She hated the control and hypocrisy she saw there before, didn't know anything about the UN or 607 info, I showed her some sites the other day and it peaked her interest. She's at her parents house now for a week and says she'll ask them about it (my grandfather's an elder) but she's even afraid to tell them how she found out the information otherwise they could tell her they can't discuss it.

    She tells me that she's not going into it all blindly, and is questioning things, but if she wants to find God or whatever I feel she should be trying different religions, not just the one she was raised in before. I'll get her to check this message board when she gets back (if she hasn't been convinced not to) and hopefully some things will sink in. If she'd chosen a life as a catholic or a muslim or any other religion, I probably wouldn't care too much, but Jehovah's Witnesses? She'll waste her life changing herself for some empty dream.

    I don't know if I should leave her be or try and convince her she's being an idiot.

  • candidlynuts

    your doing what you CAN do.. talking to her , showing her some things. thats about all you can do.

    if she didnt like the hypocrisy 10 yrs ago, i'd say once she's back and the attention she gets for returning ends, she'll see the hypocrisy has only gotten worse in the past 10 yrs.

  • MidwichCuckoo

    Oh serotonin, I feel your pain - PM me if you want.

  • LovesDubs

    Were you ever a JW? Will her becoming one affect your relationship with her? My husband was brought up a JW...he rebelled and ran from it in his teens and when he felt his life was out of control he reached for what was familiar...the JWs. And he got baptized this round. My mother in law was a 25 for 25 years. She DAd in 99....lost all her friends and JW family members over it, and her Elder husband left her. She had nobody else and ended up going back in 02. Well...too much water had gone under THAT bridge. She pretended and got reinstated and all that, and couldnt stand how her conscience and all that she had found out about the LIE was beating up on her...and she DAd again in Dec. 05. Never to return.

    Sometimes, like with childbirth, you forget how painful it was until the next time. :) If this isnt going to affect you immediately, then perhaps you can continue to let her discover for herself.?

  • serotonin_wraith

    I was raised in it until I was 16, but was never baptized. I don't think things will change between us, she has two other sons who aren't in the religion either. She won't abandon us because of our beliefs, if anything she respects what we believe. But I find it hard to return that respect. With the family I bother with I haven't really had to bother with any JW issues, my grandparents may leave a magazine lying around face up in their home when I visit them but that was the extent of it. This is a little closer to home and because I don't have alot of love for JWs I hate to see it creeping back into my immediate family again. I thought it was all over when I got out. So I can see the selfish reasons I have for wanting her out of it. She's decided not to have birthdays and Christmas now either, which to be fair doesn't affect me a great deal because I'm 24 and not living with her, and I'd rather not exchange gifts if it makes her feel bad. As much as they want her back in, I want her out.

    It may be I have to let her figure it out herself, and hope that fear of death isn't making her do this.

  • Balsam

    Sadly it the familiarity of returning to the JW's that is drawing her back. Too bad she doesn't have much interest in exploring other religions. Ignorance is bliss it sounds like in her case. Keep trying to educate her. She will just more into it if she goes back probably.


  • vitty

    Personally I would tell her everything you know and then its up to her if she still wants to go back.

    Just think will she continue a relationship with you if she does go back to the vomit..........................its a tough call

  • Snoozy

    The way I see it is that one religion isn't any worse than the other!

    If it makes her be it.

    Truthfully..can you really say one religion is any better than the other?

    They all have their quirks.

    I had a hubby that was a JW till he died.(I was one for 15 years and left ) I wish I hadn't tried to argue with him so much about it. I just didn't like him telling me I was going to die if I didn't come back.( I'm finding out a lot of religions are judgemental) I think if he lived I might have gone back just to be with him.

    The older you get the more you realize some things just aren't worth fighting over. Each person is an individual with their own needs. Who are we to tell them JW's aren't right for them? Do we have anything better to offer?

    Snoozy Q. Who has no need for the JW religion but won't try to convert anyone if that's what they want.

  • esw1966

    I was a JW for 30 years. I have just left being a JW for about a year. I was TOTALLY suckered into their belief system.

    I stayed away from religion for about 6 months to deprogram myself and then I began to examine other's beliefs from my iPod. I really began to enjoy and . They are each a community church and non-denominational. I have really begun to respect their teachings and have come to see the LOVE that Jesus foretold would identify true religion.

    I do not feel that JW's are even able to show the true definition of love. How can you love or BE loved when you are always watching others conduct to turn one another into the elders? If you are not able to express a personal opinion on a matter without being judged what love is there? If you disagree and want to leave, why is there no honorable way to leave being a JW if it is a religion of God based on LOVE.

    JW's are part of a Society and not a religion that teaches salvation by Christ's ransom sacrifice. Therefore they have not been shown God's love and are not capable TO love. It is lacking from their life. People who join them have a lack of respect for themselves and feel that the only way to gain God's LOVE is to FOLLOW ALL THE RULES and then MAYBE He will LOVE them.

    I would encourage her to find LOVE and JOY. The two churches I attend have websites and you can listen to their sermons. They are all Bible based and they have real LOVE for their members. I think it comes across. After hearing them, I came to find what I was looking for. For the first time in my life I have found JOY! Joy after getting disfellowshipped, divorced, estranged from my kids and I have had my prayers directly answered by God that my path is blessed by Him. I think it is God based and blessed so I will keep on with my learning. I encourage you to listen to and It has helped me greatly and it has given me something to withstand the desire to go back to JW to have a relationship with our Creator.

    If you have any other questions or would like more info, my msn space about the subject is at: I hope any of this is helpful to you! Ethan

  • jwfacts

    You said that she hated aspects of being a JW, so I think you have every right to discuss things with her for her benefit. No one wants to believe a whole lot of rubbish (unless they are already in there and too scared to leave) so standing back whilst others indoctrinate her is not doing her any favours. You are not able to make her mind up, but you can show her the other side of things so that she can choose based on knowledge.

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