I Asked My Wife A Question Yesterday

by enlightenedcynic 20 Replies latest jw experiences

  • enlightenedcynic

    Hello All, Over the last two weeks since I posted about my wife taking me to the elders, I have been working very hard to save my marriage. I have made arrangements for babysitting so that we can go out at least once or twice a week. We have taken in a movie, gone for a walk, gone to the beach, gone to the museum, gone to a jazz concert and just yesterday we went to a coffee house and talked over a nice cup of joe.(thanks again for all the advice!!!) What I have also been trying to do(very carefully, I might add), is to encourage open dialogue and free thinking with my wife...a lot of ,"Why do you think about this......." questions. I ask them in a relaxed, non-threatening manner and I try to ask questions that cannot be answered with a simplistic response. For example, while we were at the coffee spot, I said to my wife, " Sweetie.........(long pause).......did you ever wonder why Jehovah created us with this(I point to my skin and scrunch my face up slightly)...flesh..., skin..., our body...... it is so corruptible, it decays and rots. Even when A & E were perfect, they could still feel pain, they could still bleed or be injured. Why do you think Jehovah didn't just create us like his spirit family in the heavens?" She looked up at me and I knew that the wheels were turning! She says that she had always wondered about that and doesn't understand either, but, questions like those will be answered in the new system. I know that it is not anything to jump up and cheer about but I can't help but think that if I continue to stimulate my wife mentally, have more conversations that do not invole the wts or their policies, engage her in activities often, maybe..just maybe, my marriage might stand a chance and maybe one day I will be able to help free her from this cult. ec

  • mkr32208

    I agree, good luck with that strategy!

  • the dreamer dreaming
    the dreamer dreaming

    a question my brother asked me that did not bother me at the time came back to haunt me years later...

    if as the JWs teach there is no immortal soul...and at death the body returns to the ground and is no more and the spirit returns to God and is no more than a force like electricity that carries no personality... what exactly is raised from the dead?

    my brothers exact question was, why would you waste your life so that a copy of you can enjoy paradise?

    I think it exposed a hidden flaw in JW theology that took a while for me to grasp... JWs while denying the immortal soul, secretly, even to their own minds, accept that some part of them does infact survive death to be raisable at a later date.

  • enlightenedcynic

    Dreamer, The typical jw response is that Jehovah God holds the thoughts, ideas and memories of all deceased ones in his mind...(Jehovah is after all like a gigantic computer server or something)and will return all such components to a new body apon the person's return from grave. I never could accept this fantastic and improbable line of reasoning either. ec

  • crankytoe

    That's the same answer I get to my ressurection questions.

    I dunno,

  • garybuss

    All marriage problems are marriage problems. If religion is an issue and it causes a problem in a marriage, it's not a religion problem . . . it's a marriage problem, and it needs a marriage solution. A religion solution will not work. If a religion solution solved the religion symptom, the marriage problem will surface with another issue, like children, or money.

    Did I mention all marriage problems are marriage problems?

  • Narkissos

    Very intelligent question, which doesn't smack of "apostasy," is not directed at a specific JW belief and yet highlights a basic logical problem...

    Good luck.

  • jwfacts

    Enlightened, sounds like a great approach. You sound like you are really going over the top to make her happy, is she getting suspicious?

    Great questions about the resurrection. If God will be resurrecting people;

    • centuries after they died,
    • in a totally new body as he will not use the same atoms
    • will look different as he will not include deformities,
    • and with different memories (at least no bad memories) as ' and the former things will not be called to mind, neither will they come up into the heart'

    then why bother resurrecting people?

  • sspo

    Very wise on your part.

    I came on my wife too strong and now my marriage is almost broken.

    Take your time and bite your tongue if you want to save your marriage, i wish i did

    hang in there

  • outoftheorg

    I agree with you Gary.

    However I do believe from personal experience that there can be a marriage

    with both a religious problem and a marriage problem.

    Then the unsatisfied person uses the latest problem to reinforce the original problem in their mind.

    Then the self justification comes forward in their mind.


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