After reading a post by jwfacts the other day I am wondering how far a "devout" JW's would go to followering the WTS rules on shunning. If a "devout" JW's DF'd/DA'd child suddenly died would that JW's go to the funeral? I just cannot believe a person can be so cruel or brainwashed as to not attending their own child's funeral. Posters what do you think? I do think my "overzealous" JW's brother would not come (god forbid) my funeral because he told me years ago he would not talk to me unless I was in a Kingdom Hall.
Would a "devout" JW's not go to a DF'd/DA'd child's funeral?
I know of a JW who refused to attend his DA'd sons funeral (killed in accident) because having left the Watchtower he already connsidered his son dead.
Also an exJW (DF'd) sister I know, didn't know her mother had died. Until a non-JW stopped her in the street to say they were sorry to hear about her mother. That was 3 months after the mothers death.
Before I DAd my mom told me she would not go to my husbands funeral if it was in a church. She will not go into a church lest she be sharing in Babylon The Great and her sins. Soooo guess where I want my funeral and my childrens?
I'm sure she would come if I had it at a funeral home.
Questions from Readers
Watchtower 15th May 2002 page 28
"Would it be advisable for a true Christian to attend a funeral or a wedding in a church?"
"A church funeral is a religious service.........
Being in a group where everyone else is engaging in a false religious act, a Christian may find it difficult to resist the pressure to join in.
How unwise to expose oneself to such pressure!"
I would hope mine don't; I wouldn't want my honey going through that. If I get any kind of warning, I'm going to tell them that they're not welcome.
Yes, If the person is DF, DA or for some t echnicality have not been DF, then you should under no c ircumstances attend the funeral, wedding or any other meeting (apart from KH meetings). This is based from: 1.Corinthians 5:11 (NWT) “But now I am writing you to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man.” This verse is the primary scripture used to support the practice of disfellowshipping.
Just a question. If they are dead how are you mixing in company with them?
When my non-JW father died the family held the funeral in a church.
I asked an Elder about attending he said I could as long as I sit at the back and not take part in the service. Also not to send flowers.
A couple of years later the thing about flowers was allowed.
Recently, I know of 2 JW parents who went to the funeral (at a funeral home, talk by a brother) of a DF'd son who committed suicide. Many JWs were there (and ex-JWs). No one was disciplined for doing so.
It is not written in stone that you cannot attend. In my experience, I have never seen anyone DF'd for attending a funeral at a church (unless there was more to their agenda).
The ones that don't even notify family members of the illness/death of parents and siblings, etc., are going beyond anything I ever felt when I was a JW. I would consider that "necessary family business." I think there are some very cruel people who love to use the WTS policies to deliberately hurt family members, perhaps to make themselves seem more holy in God's sight or more likely in the sight of other JWs.
This happened in a congregation that I was in many years ago.
The daughter of a well-known family in the hall had shacked up with a guy. It was known by the family but they kept it to themselves. Some others knew(myself included even as a kid) but kept quiet also. Finally when the elders found out about it, quite accidently, they started the judicial process. In the time that this JW daughter had quit going to meetings and had moved in with the guy she had gotten cancer and was dying.
She ended up dying the same week that the elders had decided to DF her. The announcement was made either right before or right after she died(I can't remember the details) but before the funeral. A debate arose among many in the hall about whether it would be "right" to attend the funeral. I was a young teenager and starting to disagree with authority (parents) to some degree. My parents said that we would not be attending the funeral. I disagreed. I felt that since we were friends of the family and we had known the girl who died, having spent time with their family, that it would be showing compassion to the family to go. I argued that we weren't going so much for the girl, but to support the family in a time of need. My parents stuck to the WT playbook however and we weren't allowed to go.