Got the call today

by LennyinBluemont 19 Replies latest jw friends

  • LennyinBluemont
    LennyinBluemont

    Well, after fading for 5 1/2 years, keeping a low profile, hoping to keep the lines of communication open with the ones we loved for the last three decades, I got the phone call today. They let me know it was two elders on the phone and they needed to talk with me about a judicial matter in that some serious accusations were made against me.

    Background: In March of 2005 I was contacted via email by a "sister" we have known for 25 years who we have always felt very close to. I'll call her Julie, because that's her real name. Of course, she used to live here in Virginia, but is now in CA. It was odd for her to contact me, rather than my wife. (My wife was still going to meetings at the time. My last meeting was Feb 2001 and she knew I was inactive, after being very devout for almost 30 years.) She encouraged me to confide in her as to what was going on with me spiritually. Since I felt so close to her, I was inclined to open up, but I didn't. I told her that if I did, I might make some comments that some elders might think worthy of disfellowshipping. But she continued to encourage me and promised me absolute confidentiality. I was torn, but I felt, she's asking, and she really has a right to know about some of the stuff I've been learning about the WT, so I told her all about the UN deal. We exchanged emails for a week. At the end she informed me that I had identified myself as an apostate and that I should go to the elders and confess. She gave me 24 hours to do it or she would tell them. (She still knows a very prominent elder in this area.) Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I couldn't believe the degree of betrayal by this woman.

    A month later (April 2005) two elders came by to visit us and stayed for 4 1/2 hours. I enjoyed our discussion very much (and recorded the whole thing) as it was interesting to see them bob and weave as I posed many questions I could tell they didn't like dealing with. So it's been well over a year since then, and I get the phone call today. They didn't bring up the UN thing at all, but seized upon one statement I made in one of the emails, that I had become active in the anti-war movement. And so their goal was to derive a confession from me that I had violated my "Christian" neutrality. They kept asking, "Have you gotten involved in any political activity? Attended any anti-war rallies?" I told them that I would answer their question if they provided me the name of my accuser and allowed me to see the emails they were referring to so that I could validate that they were legitimate. They refused both requests. They said they would share those things with me when we met. I told them we wouldn't be meeting unless I first of all knew who my accuser was and what the evidence was. They kept saying "That's not how it works." And I kept responding, "Why? Where does it say in the WT or the Bible that I am not entitled to know the name of my accuser and see the evidence before we meet?" They just kept evading the question and repeating that they would share that when we got together. So now they may just make their decision without our cooperation. (They asked to meet with my wife as well.)

    They indicated my email had been "passed around" and I let them know how indecent I felt it was to have my personal and confidential correspondence "passed around" among strangers. I asked him how he would feel if I had found his wife's diary, read it, and decided to share it with others. His response was, "It's not a diary". Guess he needs to work on understanding illustrations.

    Stay tuned. Film at 11.

    Uncle Lenny

  • under_believer
    under_believer

    No such thing as friend.
    --Riddick

    ...at least when it comes to matters like this. I have had "the ultimatum" myself, and only managed to talk my way out of it by the skin of my teeth. IT sounds like you're gonna be okay, though.

  • jwfacts
    jwfacts

    This makes me fume, the behaviour is both illegal and unscriptural.

    It happened this way with me to, a person swore not to tell anyone, and then immediately went straight to the elders. My elders also evaded all questions about accusations. They do not want a fair trial, they want to upper hand, not give you information so that you do not have time to think about a thought out response. The less you can prepare, the more likely you will be to let slip with a statement that they can disfellowship you for. They are not looking for repentance, they are going for the conviction.

  • Sparkplug
    Sparkplug
    They indicated my email had been "passed around" and I let them know how indecent I felt it was to have my personal and confidential correspondence "passed around" among strangers. I asked him how he would feel if I had found his wife's diary, read it, and decided to share it with others. His response was, "It's not a diary". Guess he needs to work on understanding illustrations.

    As I read your post I got immediately sick. I felt just ill. They are so sneaky and slimey at times. When they told you that it does not work like that, and I felt as you must have..."How about that sh*t?" Heavy Sarcasm.

  • restrangled
    restrangled

    Dear Lenny,

    I was so sorry to read of your impending doom with elders.

    The problem here is there are no real friends or family in this orginization. It is George Orwell's 1984, or living under the Taliban. Anyone, including your own family will turn you in for any reason they see fit no matter how sincerely they beg you to tell all.

    I have experienced this scenerio over and over again through the years.

    I am now shunned after leaving 30 years ago, (no DA or DF).

    I expect a knock at my door any day now from elders wanting a meeting as to my intentions.

    That meeting will never be granted.

    Keep us posted, and may God be with you.

    Best wishes,

    r.

  • parakeet
    parakeet

    After fading from the org 3 decades ago (never DAed or DFed), I would deal with any JW elders that might call or visit me concerning "apostate" activities in this way:
    First I would laugh long and hard for about 5 minutes. Then I would threaten to sue them if any public announcement is made concerning me. Then I would tell them get lost.
    Their pattern is to run like scared little bunnies when litigation is threatened.

  • QueenBee
    QueenBee

    "So now they may just make their decision without our cooperation. (They asked to meet with my wife as well.)"

    This is going to sound like a stupid, naive question (and I don't want to hijack the thread), but can those f***ers df somebody without meeting with the intended victim?

    Anyway, I am appalled and sickened by your whole situation. So, is this "friend", this "sister" that betrayed now guaranteed some special privilege in the congregation for being a narc? Oh, wait, she's a chic, she can't HAVE any special privileges.


    GRRRRR


    Bee

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    acts 25:16 "But I replied to them that it is not roman procedure to hand any man over as a favor before the accused man meets his accusers face to face and gets a chance to speak in his defense concerning the complaint."

    This is the scripture I used against the elders when a complaint was made against me and the elders tried to protect the accuser. This along with Deut 19:15 will force them to reveal the name to you.

    Also this will show how lying and decietful the elders can be. At first they tried to tell me someone from another hall had made the accusation against me when in truth it was my 'best friend ' in that very hall who was trying to rat me out. Always remember the 2 things that will do the WTBT$ in are there own words and the way they dont know the bible as well as they think.

  • darth frosty
    darth frosty

    Oh by the way based on the scriptures they had to give up the judas' name but only after they made me promise not to hurt him (aint that bout a B!&%^)

    hold your ground and use the bible against them just like Jesus did the pharisee's

  • Mysterious
    Mysterious

    Oh yes gossip is bad and as christians we should avoid that...by the way did you hear what sister so and so said yesterday...

    Yeah rampant hypocracy.

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