How do you deal with death now

by unique1 28 Replies latest jw friends

  • unique1
    Yeah, sittin around thinking about death is crazy in itself...

    Yeah, I am slightly nuts.

    I wonder maybe if what it really comes down to is, Will you/I be remembered?... And how will we be remembered? and who will remember us?

    Maybe that is the whole thing. Maybe that is why I get so scared now. I will be remembered by all the people who cared about me for the first 29 years of my life as an apostate who disassociated themselves. I have no children. I am not close to my extended family because my parents were the only JW's and the rest of the family were worldly. I guess I have left an impression on my hubby but chances are I will outlive him. I have a few close friends that will miss me, I hope, but that is it. Like most people I have not left much of an impression on the world and will not be remembered for anything other than being a friend to some and an apostate to others.

  • Warlock

    Unique, here is how I deal with death now: Jehovah will do what is right concerning all of us, believers and non-believers alike.


  • Fleur

    Not as well as I'd hoped I would after becoming a hybrid agnostic/atheist/who knows.

    Since my Grandmother's death I've really struggled. I want to believe somehow that she knows and understands now all the things that I couldn't say to her when she was still alive. All the reasons that I "left Jehovah" and the reason doing so saved my life. I want to believe she understands now.

    I don't feel that far apart from her a lot of times, I dream of her and hear her voice so clear, sometimes I swear she's going to call me on the phone. Other times, when I reach out to try to feel connected to her I just feel so damned empty.

    I'm not afraid to die for myself; I am constantly terrified now for those I love. I didn't used to be so much this way.

    The only thing that worries me about my own death is that if it happened before my daughter was grown, how she would cope living with her father all the time. My husband has often said that he couldn't live without me, and that scares me too.

    I'm trying to shake these things off...just live one day at a time and be grateful, that is what two very near death experiences in my family two weeks apart five years ago taught me. We never know what will happen. So I try not to waste time now; and to be sure all the people I love know that I love them, every day.


  • blondie

    How do I deal with death now?

    I still try to avoid it.


  • unique1

    LOL Blondie.

  • Balsam


    Honey if anything happen to you before my life came to an end I would not let you be forgotten. I love you and though your not my child, your the child of my dear ex-JW-friend. Therefore you are part of my extended family always.

    How to view death and wondering if there is a hereafter is tough. I've never feared death ever, why I am not sure. I could believe that this life is all there is and that we need to make the best of it because when we die we just cease to exist, no suffering, no thought, no anything. It would be as the bible says "The remberance of us is forgotten" Eccl 9:5. If though we return to a spirit being and there is reincarnation as some believe, we will have new experiences as a new and different person. We won't remember our past lives so they doing interfer with the current life. Would that be so terrible if it was that way? The thing is we won't know till we've passed. I thing we should embrace both and just wait and see. Death should not be feared though.

    After Dak died I clung to the JW teachings about death, but it only made me more sad that there would be no way to know or see him until an earthly resurrection. As I studied and learned the bible was human perception of God I realized that it may not be the only "Truth" there is about death. Could Dak have died and continued alive in a spirit form somewhere? I had dreams that showed me Dak in a room with me locked out but through a glass door happy and doing art work with a dear friend of mine who had died 25 years ago. She (Karen) was telling him about how she and I became friends in 4th grade and how she had always been with my family watching my sons grow up. Now I honestly had not thought of Karen in many many years, and the Dream I had was strange to me. Karen died in an automobile accident when she was 24 that was called a suicide. She and I were friends from 4th grade till she passed when I was 23. I never thought of her being with me as I'd become a JW by the time I was 22, just as she did too because of me.

    Are such dreams an evidence of life after death? I don't know but I found the dreams I had about Dak after his death comforting. In another dream he was assuring me he alive, happy, and busy and that everything was ok in the spirit realm. If my brain was trying to conjure up things then this is not what I expected because I still believed in the JW way when the dreams came to me. Thus the reason the dreams seemed so bizarre to me.

    I have no answers, but I look at it this way. If we just live the best kind of life we can and die, we won't know any different will we if there is no afterlife? We wouldn't even know if anyone remembers us or not or care. If we live the best life we can and die, and our spirit separate from our body to move on then we will understand the spirit world on some level and that won't be scary. I believe that Jesus tried to teach us to not fear death but to search out the Divine Father not necessarily the Hebrew God of judgement. I see the Divine as a loving caring spirit who care about us, and does not want us terrified of living and dying. The Divine I believe in now is pure love, and there is no fear or terror in knowing the Divine.

    Would faith in a hearafter that is full of love hinder your love of life now and be the best human you can be hinder you in anyway? Shouldn't, so you can believe anyway you wish. If believing in the an afterlife would give you comfort then believe it. Find what makes you feel comforted. It's not alway necessary to embrace what we might consider reality if it causes us to be depressed and unhappy. But do believe that Love is important in all you do and say and experience in this life. Push the negative away from you, and avoid negative thinking because it will only drag you down.

    Warm Love and hugs my child,


  • Apostate Kate
    Apostate Kate

    I'll just tell you my personal experience and you can take it for whatever.

    For me, I had a near death experience. It was not painful at all. Death is not painful. What was painful, actually terrifying was dying without a personal relationship with Jesus. That was very scary. Horrid. Beyond words. As a JW.

    Now, after I have come to know what it is to have a personal relationship with Jesus, I have had some close calls with my health. I was so peaceful, knowing that it did not matter if I lived or died my life was no longer my own. We have a very bad hospital where I am at and one night my heart was racing at 120...I was exhausted and I just decided I was too tired to drive an hour away to the hospital.

    I went to sleep not knowing for sure where I would wake up. But having total peace about it. Several years later I am still here, living an incredibly blessed life. Please no one take offense I am not preaching, I am just sharing my personal experience.

    John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. <-----true

  • LyinEyes

    I don't really believe anything anymore about death and the afterlife. But I would be open to suggestion or a miracle if it were to come my way. That hasnt happened in my case, with my Mom I really needed answers and with my sister I needed them even more. Nothing. So I guess I just go with we are not meant to know if there is a Heaven, I mean we get no real proof. I can't rely on my dreams, if I happen to see them or talk to them in my dreams, that is probably just my mind soothing my soul ,needing and proving comfort.

    I am only scared of death because of who we leave behind, and if I die, my family would hurt so bad, especially my youngest son, as he is traumatized by my sister's suicide. He thinks since my Mom and sister went out like that so will I. I understand his fear.

    I am afraid of death still if someone dies in my immediate family, I am not sure I could handle it again. Death seems to inch it's way closer and closer into my inner circle to the point of wondering ...what the HELL??

    As for myself,,,,,,,,if I try to be a good person, maybe there will be something on the other side and I will be remembered. I don't know, if not, then I will not waste my life anymore waiting on promises that will not come true. I try to live each day as it is my last, anywhere.

  • Apostate Kate
    Apostate Kate
    as he is traumatized by my sister's suicide

    I am so sorry for your loss. We do suffer so much grief at times.

  • BizzyBee

    Good news: I fear death less the older I get.

    After I left the organization, and after much rumination, reading and letting it all simmer on a backburner, I had a light bulb moment:

    Death is part of life.

    For some reason, this thought took away some of my fear of dying. Maybe because it is the one thing about death that we know for absolutely sure.

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