Should I admit to JWs that I am disfellowshipped?

by jwfacts 36 Replies latest jw experiences

  • Honesty

    2. Pretend nothing has changed so that when they find out I am an apostate they wonder why I am still acting normal

    That's what I do. The Watchtower has Fallen.

    When I do tell them that I DA'd because I wanted to worship Jesus after I found out the Wacthtower Society had whored herself with the UN for almost 10 years, most dubs get a shocked, glazed over look in their eyes and immediately hit the road.

    When they see me again, they give a Good Witness to the public.

    I love being shunned in public by the JW's because after they leave I tell all curious onlookers that I was once a member of the JW 's until I found Jesus and became a Christian. Now, the JW's despise and loathe me.

    I say, let the shunning doctrine remain in place for awhile.

  • littlemillcreek

    I don't know if I'm considered da'd or df'd. Some witnesses talk to me, but elders gernerally don't. When I run into people I treat them like I do anyone else, "Hi, how are you? What's new?" Then I tell them about all the GOOD NEWS in my life. Unless of course they give me the cold shoulder, I whistle on my merry way. If someone asks if your going to such and such h all or attend meetings I would ask them "Why do you ask?" Throw the ball back in their court.

  • Highlander

    As mentioned before, don't play by their pharisaic rules. You haven't changed, so why should you encourage their stupid rule to change the way they treat you?

    Just keep it friendly and when they do find out you're this big, bad, horrible apostate, then they will think to themselves. Hmm he seems so happy? I thought he

    was supposed to be miserable for leaving the 'truth'(TM)

  • atypical

    jwfacts, I also say with emphasis: don't play by their rules! Don't forget about the new announcement: "jwfacts is no longer one of jehovah's witnesses". Are you supposed to go around telling everybody that according to three men you are no longer one of jehovah's witnesses? Should you also announce that you are not one of a thousand other denominations? Live in the real world and let them see how screwed up their world is.

    I love your site, by the way.

  • zanex

    hmmm I actually found myself in this situation...i made a post about it some time ago about how I am worknig in an arena that is rampant with jws that happen to be intimately familiar with my parents who are still actively within the clutches of the ahem..."troof"...anyhow i was approached while i was on the job and I was asked if i was df'd. I, for some odd reason, felt a surge of what I would like to call courage but is more probably like fool hardiness and decided to answer it! I said i was dfd but that i did not subscribe to such terminology and if they wanted to speak with me again that they would have to address me by my name.

    Now we skip into the next day when i fully realize what I have done and now ALL of the jws working there will now shun me...all because of a shtupid question and my numbnuts answer...I went to my management and they were aghast at the tale I told. Before I ever took the job i made management aware of my issues with the local jw populace and i was promised that I would never be made to feel uneasy. They were more worried about me suing them than any religious issues the shtupid jws had. Anyhow..long story short...I had a meeting set with the jw who ousted me and my manager...I told that jw in no uncertain terms that I was not to be f*&[email protected] with and that any comments to that effect would be returned with a vengeance. I love the feeling of having the word "professional" supporting me....the jw was cowed and to this day I have had a "zero tolerance" relationship with that and all the other jws here...and apparently I have had quite an the first ever df'd xjw that is working at this job. There are others within this job that have been made to feel small and "shunned" up until i got employed...I am the first one to ever stand up and give them all a very well deserved bird. And all under the umbrella of work! Go fig...

    Ultimately the choice to identify oneself comes with consequences but those same consequences are faced whether or not I do it to myself or they find out without my information...I made the choice to take them on...head, it wasnt easy but now it is MY power field...and the game they play is now out in the open and I am on top...but whatever...Im just glad my boss is Makes it much easier for me to sit in front of those jws and tell them what anyhow...thats my 2 cents!


  • jwfacts

    Welcome LittleMill and thanks everyone for your answers.

    My tax business is just a hobby (yes everyones idea of a fun hobby) so i don't care if I loose the clients. I love it though, as even JWs that know im d/f have been coming back to me and acting like nothing ever changed - when there is money to be made or saved my apostate virus is no longer contagious.

    D/f is extremely counter productive to the WTS, I dont know how they see it. Every time anyone asks me about the JWs the first think I ever bring up is the doctrine of disfellowshipping. Not a single person that becomes aware of this practice, including all the people I work with, will ever be a JW for this one reason alone.

  • Stephanus
    Pretend nothing happened. its their thing honey, not yours.

    Collegegirl's absolutely right; why help them play their sick game by setting up the game-board for them? As my mother advised me about feeding cats: "Don't YOU be fussy for them; they'll develop their own fussiness". Or in this case, you don't need to live their lives for them; if they were serious about their interest in you, they'd already know about your status. Just run a "Don't ask; don't tell" policy, and everybody'll be happy.

  • bebu

    I've never been a JW, and to be honest I'm always surprised how newly df'd x-dubs usually blurt out, first thing, to acquaintances that meet them: "I'm df'd." WHY announce this??? It is what the WTS and all JWs expect you to do. I say let them have a time of discovering you are not playing by WT rules at all, and yeat are still perfectly capable of normal conversation (you know, without a demon-possessed voice).

    If they find out on their own and ask, you could say something like, "Research 607 BCE online anywhere you want. Get back to me if you see something that would help me see the WTS wasn't mistaken."

    Seriously, making announcements like that mystify me, unless someone does it in a way that helps wake someone else up to smell the coffee.


  • Stephanus
    Every time anyone asks me about the JWs the first think I ever bring up is the doctrine of disfellowshipping. Not a single person that becomes aware of this practice, including all the people I work with, will ever be a JW for this one reason alone.

    It was a doctrine always designed for internal consumption. It was meant to keep the insiders faithful and fearful. But like so many things in Watchtowerdom, the dynamic has changed, and a doctrine that helped them has turned on them. Now that there are more apostates and other exes than faithful, and they are no longer isolated from one another as in former days, the shunning is more likely to be both talked about by exes, and noticed by the outside world. Another aspect of Dubdom that was always meant to be kept private and useful to them, has been shouted from the housetops and is again proving harmful to them.

  • cognizant dissident
    cognizant dissident

    This thread reminds me of how lepers in the Bible, used to have to ring a bell as they walked, shouting Unclean! Unclean! so all would know their status and to stay clear of them. That is in effect what JW's want df'd people to do. It is definitely playing by their rules to accomodate them. I say don't tell, it's none of their business.


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