Have you since re-established contact with them? What was that like?
I wonder if the act of shunning someone you love actually strengthens your resolve that you're following the "right" course.
Did you use to shun family members or friends?
by M.J. 20 Replies latest jw friends
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DannyBloem
I did shun friends what were DF-ed before. I feel now very sorry I did.
I never shunned family members because the society leaves room, not to shun them. I can;t understand anybody wanted to be even more strict then the WT rules...
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JW83
I shunned my best friend for a while on and off, and didn't attend her wedding. I am so ashamed that I did this & it definitely made me feel upset at the time, not self-righteous at all, although the explanations I gave her were very self-righteous
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La Capra
Only the people I wanted nothing to do with. Their status as a JW had (and still has) nothing to do with whether I associate with someone. When I was a kid, some DFed people didn't want to get in more trouble and wouldn't talk to me, but not all of them.My haridresser was DFed but I refused to go to anyone else, because she was a hair genius--the best in town. I didn't keep that a secret.
Shoshana
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LittleToe
Yup
My sister for 2 years and my Bestman for 6.
Fortunately, for me, they're back in my life
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Lady Lee
Did you use to shun family members or friends?
Yes I did. My uncle (who was also Mouthy/Grace's son-in-law
Have you since re-established contact with them? What was that like?
I haven't seen him inat least 30 years but if I saw him I wouldn't shun him but I wouldn't search him out either - he hurt too many people .I wonder if the act of shunning someone you love actually strengthens your resolve that you're following the "right" course.
Interesting thought. I think it probably did. At one point there was a possibility that my mother might be DFed (she was reproved instead). Since I was married to an elder I know I would have bowed to his thinking that we should shun her. There was also a "brother" who was more like an uncle since he lived with my grandmother and 3 uncles. When he was DFed I did speak to him a couple of times to "encourage" him to come back. Funny thing is he did go back after I was out and he did speak to me to "encourage" me to go back. I reminded him that he wasn't supposed to talk to me -
Tea4Two
NO! I sat next to a fellow I didn't regonize in the KH who said he was disfellowshiped but I talked to him anyway...I didn't care. He seemed to me a nice enough person...
BUT then there was a young woman who I knew was disfellowshiped and I wanted to just go over to her and say hello but her family which I was friends with, would not let me. She was reinstated a year later. Then love bombed by all in the cong. Including me.
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darth frosty
I never shunned anyone. Actually so many in my family (cousins and such) were DF for so long we just said fudge it and spoke to them at reunions and such. Ironically, whenever I would see former friends who were DF'd, I would aproach them and they would back away from me. That conditioning runs strong and funny.
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freetosee
Sad to say I shunned every D’F person. Always thought this is one of the most difficult parts of being a JW. Believing it was the biblical and Christian thing to do I would be critical of those not following this cult policy. I feel particularly bad about shunning one young girl I grow up with. We were visiting her family in England (they learned the “truth” in Germany) and one evening she was standing outside the house waiting to see us. My whole family walked past her not looking at or greeting her. She started crying heavily and her brother ran out to hold her. –Today I know much more about her stupid father (elder) and feel very bad for shunning her. I whish I could find and meet her to tell her I’m very sorry. Freetosee
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MinisterAmos
My wife was "permitted" to attend her twin's wedding, but was not permitted to talk to anyone other than her family. This was about seven or so years ago.
After the rules became harsher maybe four? years ago, her own twin told her she would have to start shunning her.