Friday Chuckle

BrendaCloutier

Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back or that you could crawl into a hole ?

Here are the testimonials of a few people who did...

- I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back. My husband didn't say a word. He knew better.

- I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good- looking gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he could help me. Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with men's balls."

- My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help. I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away. To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

- I got into the freight elevator with 2 painters taking them to a suite in the office building to be painted. One of the painters I had dated briefly, and I was uncomfortable in the elevator with him. I felt like I needed to say something (I don't know why) so out of my mouth came "Gee, I just love going down in elevators". There was an uncontrolled snigger, but otherwise dead silent. I wanted to fade into the walls.

- Have you ever asked your child a question too many times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, and she was clean. Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he said, "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me." Then I said, "Dan! my, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?" "No," he replied. I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down. An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

- This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens when you predict snow but don't get any? A true story. We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the crew did too!

- While on a flight from New York, the Stewardess was busy passing out peanuts and cokes to everyone. There were about sixteen flights lined up waiting to get clearance to take off. Then the other Stewardess got a message from the Pilot that the tower said the wind had changed 180 degrees and they were first in line to take off, and to have everyone buckle up. Without thinking she just announced "Please buckle up, grab your drinks and hold your nuts, we're taking off", No one saw her for the rest of the flight to Houston, and all the other Stewardesses and half of the passengers were laughing all the way to Houston.

-- Now, didn't that feel good ?

mrsjones5

I love a good laugh

jeanniebeanz

lmao... I loved the lady news anchor one. That was great, Brenda.

damselfly

Too funny.

I was a cashier in a store that gave free lollipops to kids, I gave one to a cute little three year old and then turned to help the next customer. After I had gotten all his items rung thru he mentioned that the candy looked good so without thinking I said I would give him a sucker. I have never been so red in the face before! Of course he was thrilled with the offer.

Dams

Lo-ru-hamah

Thank you, BC. I just read those antics to my sister and we have been laughing for 30 minutes.

Loruhamah

BrendaCloutier

ONE of those stories is actually mine. I added it to the list when I posted (my hubby send me the email). But I'm not about to tell which one...

DanTheMan

Those are great!

luna2

Hehehehe! That was fun. Thanks, Brenda.

Friday Chuckle

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