Thanks so much, unique1, for catching this on the blog. CRR also posted here, just before going to the hospital: Hey everybody
Everyone might want to drop a line on that thread, too.
Even though I don't know you, I always enjoy the responses you gave in your posts. More times than ever I feel that I'm not equipped to move on, It hurts...and when I was growing up I WAS withdrawn from everyone else.
Even though I was not diagnosed with Asperger's, whenever I was in a crowded room....those symptoms call to mind how I was feeling, and all throughout my life I feel like this.And up to this point I was really ready to die.
Whatever your desicion; just know that the hearts of those that care....REALLY care are here...always here. I've lost two friends in my life because of hurt, lies and pain from what the society pushes out to the collective to wallow in.
You'll always be with us...We'll always be with you. And you know that too don't you?
It's funny...even though I don't know you....we share a common thread, and that's pain...because we love so much, we want so much for things to be in it's right place so much that it hurts because it's not, and we came to the realization that it never will be.
So what do we do? Give in to the machine that don't care if we live or die?
Or walk on? Walk on to something that THEY'LL never give you.
For every life that they take...they get stronger. But for every life that slipps away from their grasp..that life day by day will get stronger.But it does'nt seem that way at all does it?
I'm not going to give you a light at the end of the tunnell scenario or a "things will get better" essay...I know you've heard it all before, so have I by the way.
But just so you know....we give all a damn about you CCR...we all care.
All the best,
Thanks AuldSoul. I am on the east coast and I guess I had went to bed or was cooking dinner or something and I completely missed that post. I just checked my myspace this morning and had an email telling me to tell everyone goodbye for him and listed his name and the dates 1981 - 2006. It scared me and I couldn't think of anything to do but gather support for him here. I am glad you guys were there for him last night!!!
This past week I've finally made my personal stand no longer to be a JW. After about one week of total discomfort and being totally miserable I finally have an amazing sense of freedom. Just yesterday I was sick to my stomach, not able to even do anything all day long. But last night I tied up the last few loose ends that I needed to do and now I'm able to move on with my life. It took me over a year to do this. Some it takes longer, others shorter. But there a light on the other side. Many times I've wanted to give up, thining of all kinds of stuff I could do to simply avoid the situation, but it's not worth it. Don't the WTS bring us down. Keep your faith, don't loose it. It's what helped me get out more than anything else. I wish you the best.
Thank you for the update. That's a hell of a relief off my shoulders.
CRR, when the weight of the JW / ex-JW world starts getting the best of your emotions, take a break and do something else. We devoted our whole lives to this shit, there's no reason to go the extreme opposite and devote our whole lives to fighting it. The WTS took away time you could have spent on your passions and hobbies. Don't let the WT continue to keep them away from you.
You are the most important person in your life. You need to take good care of yourself. That includes having fun!
For those not familiar with this condition
WHAT IS ASPERGER'S SYNDROME?
Asperger's Syndrome is a Pervasive Developmental Disorder that falls within the autistic spectrum. It is a life-long condition, which affects about 1 in 200 people, more commonly in men than women. Those with Asperger's Syndrome are usually of average or above average intelligence.
The condition is characterised by difficulties with Social Interaction, Social Communication and Flexibility of Thinking or Imagination. In addition, there may be sensory, motor and organisational difficulties.
This condition was first identified over 50 years ago by Hans Asperger, a Viennese paediatrician.
A pattern of behaviours and abilities was identified, predominantly amongst boys, including a lack of empathy, impaired imagination, difficulty in making friends, intense absorption in a special interest and often problems with motor co-ordination.
Whilst people with Asperger's Syndrome will exhibit some or all of these characteristics to a greater or lesser degree, many tend to experience isolation and a lack of understanding in their everyday lives, which often results in frustration, anger, depression and a lack of self-esteem.
To download more detailed information please choose from the following links:
CRR, just remember buddy, we ALL suffer from this cult. Your handicap makes it's own challenges....and there are many here with various challenges....some with worse situations than others.....but as a group, we can help each other get past these snags in life.
You have always been an important part of this board and a part of a unique community....and we need each other.
A big warm hug to you our friend
Thanks for the help, everybody! I couldn't have done it without you!
AS has been described as "a touch of autism," though those that suffer from it wouldn't describe it as being easy in any way. I come from a family that has many people that suffer from AS, or have tendencies in that direction. I fall into the latter category, though I don't compare my suffering or difficulties to CRR's or the members of my family in any way.
There are others on this forum that, I am convinced, also have AS. I won't name names because I don't want to offend.
AS has its difficulties but is also a gift; people with AS are capable of greatness and brilliance to a degree neurotypicals are often not. Remember the positive aspects AS brings to your life; the focus of which you are capable, the sensory pleasures--a soft blanket, peripheral vision, the minute veins in the leaf from an oak tree. Remember your organizational skills and your specialist subjects. It is likely that there are subjects or topics on which you are the most authoritative person you know--you can use that authority and those abilities to help yourself and to help others. Remember that you are capable of great love.
Remember that many others are like you. Do not give up.
CRR, I caught this thread late - and I am so glad that you are hanging in there. Don't give up and don't forget how many others need you - there are so many struggling with their exit from the jws, me included. I have been helped so much by the experiences and kindness on this board, reading the words of people like you who can identify with how I am feeling. Please always reach out when you feel low. Take care of yourself and keep letting everyone know how you are doing.
You said in one of your posts that your mom "helped" you with your depression by telling you to get out of her house and this struck a chord with me because the very same thing happened to me just yesterday. Although I can't even begin to completely understand your personal obstacles, my depression did land me in the hospital the end of January/beginning of February of this year. And my mom said such mean things to me even after I was in the hospital. It's something I cannot comprehend, but the JW's have our moms so indoctrinated that they can't just see things for what they truly are, and they can't just simply try to help us be happy.
But now it's June and I am feeling so much better than I did around the time I had to go to the hospital. There are still obstacles in my life, no doubt. But I DO feel like life is worth living. That's not something I felt even four months ago.
I just wanted you to know.