by unique1 24 Replies latest jw experiences

  • unique1

    ColdRedRain a long time member of this board and my myspace friend is having a really difficult time and is considering suicide. He needs us now more than ever. Please read his blog below.

    The Last Hurrah!

    Hey everybody, you're wondering why I feel as though how I feel. It's not because of some failed romantic venture, despite the claims of one of the readers of this note.

    But in the grand scale of all things, you're really a nothing and I've met thousands of women like you. You're no different.

    The reason why I feel as though I feel in life is because I'm not equipped to live a normal life. Some people are meant to go on in life. I'm ill equipped to go on. In the great race of life, everybody has a sports car. I was born with a Geo Metro.

    Asperger's is a bitch. That's why I say donate to the Asperger's Foundation if you really do care about me.

    I also know another thing too. David can't fight Goliath. For a long time, I've been fighting the "truth". I can't do it anymore. They have too many brainwashed people fighting for them and they don't even know why they're fighting for them. Nobody in that religion knows why they defend it. Only because it's custom and they know of nothing else.

    That's why I've had if best, strained relations with my family and certain "friends" whose friendship depends on my attendance and belief in a religion that makes the peculiar claim of knowing the truth about a book that says that donkeys talk, global rainstorms exist and how men walked on water. They say that the man who walked on water came invisibly in 1914 after expecting him to come to earth in the flesh.

    You're seen as somebody that shouldn't be associated with if you believe that this book is the collection of horseshit that it is, and their interpretation adds to that horseshit.

    And at last, some will say when referring to me, that I died in the summer of 2006. That's wrong. I truly died in the autumn of 2003, the day that my father died.

    I do not want any Jehovah's Witness speakers at my funeral. JW's are very welcome to attend, as many have been my friends over the years, but I want to make it clear, that you WILL NOT try to proselytize to the attendees of my funeral. Do not hand out brochures, do not try to read bible verses nor even discuss any religious matters to anybody at my funeral. This funeral is to help those that love me grieve over my loss, not a platform to push your religion like you did at my dad's funeral.

    If you do try to do this, my caretakers (I request them to be [edited by request] and [edited by request]) at my funeral to ask you to leave.

    I love all of those who will miss me.

    With best wishes

    ColdRedRain, 1981-2006

  • jgnat

    Asperger's would explain a LOT. CRR, the world needs unique people. What you are considering is what I fear most will happen to my son, who has Schizophrenia. I KNOW my son is loveable, and just by his existence, teaches people to be kind.

    You are too. Our society needs you.

  • Nosferatu

    Oh for fvvv sake.... How the hell can we help? Got any contact info?

  • Nosferatu

    Found this in his profile (edited to prevent junk mail):

    AOL: SoulessFirePain

    MSN: Merrdog -at-

    Yahoo: the_pyretta_blaze

  • jgnat

    The weakness of the Discussion Board. We can connect, intimately, anonymously. But if someone is in trouble.....there's no way to reach out past the virtual world. Am I remembering right? Does CRR live in New York State?

  • Nosferatu

    Here's his profile:

    I tried firing him an email at the MSN address.

  • unique1

    I have posted this thread on his myspace page, so hopefully he will see it there. Other than that I have no other contact info. I know we feel helpless, but he has friends responding to his post, so hopefully one of them is close enough to check on him. He sent me a PM saying to say goodbye for him on here, but instead, I want to show him how much support he really has on here. I will PM him with this thread as well.

  • unique1

    According to his myspace page, he is in Minnesota.

  • stevenyc


    I found your blog on myspace, and I'm happy you've decided to continue living. We've never had the opportunity to converse here on JDW. Who knows, maybe that will change some day. I suffer with depression, directly related to being brought up in the same cult your dealing with. I've toyed with suicide a couple of times myself.

    If your ever interested in how I over came them I'll let you know.

    I read your recent blog and it seems like your correct in your assumption of the other poster getting you down. Your decisions to stay where you are right now make sense.

    Please, if you get those nasty feelings again, let us know here on JWD. We're a strange and unique bunch of people recovering from a life very few 'outsiders' understand. You are part of that, and we do care about you.

    Take care.


  • unique1

    Thanks you guys. As Steve just mentioned, there is a new blog and someone helped. I have edited the names out in case any are XJW's laying low.

    Well, I made a cardinal mistake in trying to kill myself. I told people. I left the text message of (Cold Red Rain) 1981-2006 on all of my friends cell phones.

    Somebody helped me. Someone cared. It was L.

    This day has helped me see alot. It's helped me see how even in situations of crises, JW's would want to inappropriatley discuss their religion, rather than help people, even if they're your closest relatives.

    My mom tried to "help" me with my depression by telling me to leave the family, all because I dared question her faith. So did her friend P.

    P got upset at my note and then went into a tirade. Nothing memorable, except a stupid argumentum ad populum. In verbatium, she said "There are 6 million witnesses on earth, surely we must be right about something". I called her on it and she pretty much did whatever you do when you use logic on somebody who doesn't use logic to think. Her head exploded.

    Thank you L for being a good friend.

    I never really knew who my true friends were until yesterday.

    I never really had a multitude of friends that didn't have an agenda to push. Or at least I didn't think so.

    Thank you in no particular order: (list of names)

    BTW, J and S, I miss you guys. Part of me feeling down was knowing that you guys were up north and I was stuck down here.

    I still feel down and I will feel down for a long time, but as long as I have a cheering section like these people, I will always feel at home.

    My philosiphy on life will never change. "Never Again". Never again will I let this religion bully me. Yes, I may go to your meetings because I'm in a peculiar situation, but just remember, I'm not going to be fucked over by you. Never Again. If I do have to attend the meetings, I'll make sure to try to bring you down from the inside.

    You can't disfellowship me, just remember that. I can, however, expose you. The only thing that will stop me from doing that is another asperger's related breakdown. I have friends now. That won't ever happen. Never Again :)

    And ____, I thought I was "blocked". You "blocked" me and you IM'ed me 3 times. And I'm the one that's scary? You're the one that's nuts. Either that or you're even indecisive when it comes to simple things like blocking people.

    God damn, make up your mind. Actually, don't. I don't want you IMing me ever again. You've proven that you're full of shit, and that time was when you go on your little hissyfits. And BTW, my attempted suicide has NOTHING to do with you, but rather the fact that I can't cope outside a high-control religion because I always have paranoia about people brushing me off in immature manners. I've dealt with women like you before that put up drama and date multiple men. They got me upset until I saw something good on TV. Turns out I missed Robot Chicken that night and I gave you a longer time of the day than it should be. Sometimes, I forget their shit and I talk to them again.

    Maybe my anti-social behavior does have its advantages then.

    And yes, I do live with my mother and I don't have a job. Looks bad, huh? I'll give a better history about my situation.

    My mom's a widow and I'm a trust fund kiddie that's also on survivors benefits, due to my Asperger's syndrome. Any work that I have is just peripherary, something to fill my resume until I finally solve the depression part of my illness and get back to working a productive life.

    I try to stay with my mom too because ever since my dad passed away, I've had to draw closer to her to try to keep my family together, so we don't splinter apart. Yeah, I'm such the loser for living with my mom and trying to save my family.

    Let's continue this. Give him support. I have sent him this thread and I know he will read it. We have had so many people get depressed due to this religion. We have had so many threads about a JW that was difellowshipped or marked or just confused that committed suicide. It is such a sad thing to see. But, we can do something positive too. CRR is proof of that. Thanks to all of you who replied and lets keep the encouragement up. Depression doesn't go away in one day!!!

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