Hi everyone,
Another post from a newbie(who has been lurking around here for a couple of years now).
My story is nothing exciting really. I grew up pretty much from the age of 3 or 4 in the JW Religion. My parents both became Witnesses at that time, then after a couple of years, my mother "saw the light", and stopped going, but my father dragged my sister and I along with him for many years to come. I never had any really bad experiences, or abuse due to the religion, but it was hard growing up in a divided household. My mom would put up the Christmas Tree, my dad would take it down...she would beg him to play Christmas Carols on the piano---he'd refuse...there'd be arguments or she would just feel neglected when he was out night after night going to meetings.
The whole thing was never really in my heart-I didn't feel the passion, or need, to go door to door. I would go with my dad when guilted into it, then just stand(hide) behind him and pray that nobody I knew lived there. I never felt the desire to get baptised either-and for some reason(for which I'm thankful) my dad didn't push me. When I was about 18 or 19, I began experiencing the outside world and realized that life was alot more fun than I had been led to believe. So I basically laid it out to him one day-told him that it wasn't the way of life that I wanted, and I would no longer be attending meetings with him. Trust me, it was the hardest thing I had ever done, breaking my dads heart like that-but what a weight it lifted off my shoulders to finally tell him the truth after so many years.
He took it very well-of course he was disappointed-but he never stopped being my dad...he actually became an elder a couple of years later and remained one until the day he passed away.
That was pretty much it-from then on, I lived my "worldly" life-made many mistakes along the way(a very bad and abusive marriage was the biggest one).....but now, I have 3 beautiful children and I am married for the second time to a wonderful, wonderful man who makes me thankful every day that I'm alive. I feel so lucky to have broken free and been able to enjoy life instead of living a lie.
Amazingly, though-- after having been out of the religion for over 20 years now, I still feel a twinge of guilt when I'm celebrating a birthday, or putting up the Christmas tree. There has always been that nagging little doubt in my mind, "What if....they were right?". That's why when I stumbled across this website I found it so helpful. I see that others have those doubts too-and I find it makes such a difference to know that there are others out there who are in the same boat as me.
Okay, so I've rambled on enough. I really just wanted to finally throw my two cents in and get to know everyone(I feel like I already know a few of you)...
PJ