I read someone's post today where he indicated as a JW he had a guilty conscience because he didn't have a submissive wife. I'm trying to wrap my brain around that. Was that a common thing? Why would a man feel guilty for having an unsubmissive wife? Someone explain that to me, please.
Please explain: Guilt for not having a submissive wife
by serendipity 40 Replies latest social relationships
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hartstrings
It is an ol' boy network. There is an unwritten pissing contest at who has the more "spiritual" wife. I have to imagine it would be like a locker room if you had a small dick. Can't measure up
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IP_SEC
It is an ol' boy network. There is an unwritten pissing contest at who has the more "spiritual" wife. I have to imagine it would be like a locker room if you had a small dick. Can't measure up
I couldnta said it better.
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serendipity
Having a spiritual wife enhances a man's standing? Or is the wife's spirituality a reflection of the husband's spirituality? I'm trying to nail down exactly what's going on.
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under_believer
It has to do with this:
(1 Timothy 3:1-7) . . .If any man is reaching out for an office of overseer, he is desirous of a fine work. 2 The overseer should therefore be irreprehensible, a husband of one wife, moderate in habits, sound in mind, orderly, hospitable, qualified to teach, 3 not a drunken brawler, not a smiter, but reasonable, not belligerent, not a lover of money, 4 a man presiding over his own household in a fine manner, having children in subjection with all seriousness; 5 (if indeed any man does not know how to preside over his own household, how will he take care of God’s congregation?) 6 not a newly converted man, for fear that he might get puffed up [with pride] and fall into the judgment passed upon the Devil. 7 Moreover, he should also have a fine testimony from people on the outside, in order that he might not fall into reproach and a snare of the Devil. -
AlanF
Among the JWs, it's kind of like having a dog you'd like to control, but can't quite manage it.
AlanF
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TMS
Yes, the line, semi-paraphrased: "If a man can't preside over his own family, how can he preside over the congregation?"
My wife of 38 years was never the model JW submissive wife. She never hesitated to speak her mind if an elder rule or statement was ridiculous. This made for occasional uncomfortability in my thirty year "eldership". Crudely, some old nitwit elder would ask: "Who wears the pants in your family?"
The life of an elder's wife can be terrible, at times. Imagine sitting through two hours of Kingdom Hall meetings at the conclusion of which is announced a "short" elders meeting. That meeting turns into an hour and a half. The wife is stuck with kids, Bible studies, passengers, etc., not to mention having to deal with the other elder's wives.
tms
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Scully
Being a Submissive™ wife was so contrary to who I am.... I still can't believe that I tried to fit into that mold for 10 years before I just gave up and didn't even bother trying anymore.
The one thing that gets held over a man's head when his wife is not properly Submissive™ is that her behaviour can disqualify him from having Privileges™. Back in the day, Mr Scully was just jonesing to be Appointed™ as a Ministerial Servant™. It came time to have the Circuit Overseer™ and District Overseer™ visit, and arrangements were made for our family to go in Service™ with the District Overseer™ and his wife. We were all on our best behaviour, knowing that this was part of the screening process for Mr Scully to be Appointed™. Anyway, the entire morning, the DO was nitpicking about everything. Our 6 year old wasn't dressed in a suit and tie... he was fidgety... and eagerly went up to the houses faster than the DO wanted to walk. Within an hour, we felt completely brow-beaten by the constant nitpicking about everything we were doing "wrong". We even got criticized for taking coffee break "too soon" because our 6 year old needed to use the bathroom... the DO said we should "make him wait" because the DO didn't believe in taking coffee breaks. Anyway, while Mr Scully took the 6 year old to the little boys' room, the DO started making snide remarks to me - including criticism for our 3 month old daughter's pierced ears. He said, "So you pierced her ears, huh? You might as well have gotten her nose pierced while you were at it." I replied that "We researched the Publications™ before we did it, and our understanding was that it was our decision, not yours. Should we have asked your permission to get our son circumcised too?" Of course, my tone of voice rang true to my inner Jezebel™... anything but Submissive™. Sister DO was shocked that I would speak to her Grand Poobah husband with such disrespect. I countered that he had no business criticizing us the way he had been doing all morning and that he was behaving like a very ill-mannered guest and that he'd worn out his welcome as far as I was concerned.
By that time more JWs were coming into the coffee shop and Mr Scully was back from the washroom with our son. The DO quickly made arrangements to do Return Visits™ with another car group... and I told Mr Scully that I was DONE for the morning. I told him what had transpired when he was out of earshot and he was upset - not that we had been verbally abused by the DO all morning, and not that the verbal abuse had continued behind his back - but because "I guess I can kiss being a Ministerial Servant™ goodbye now." I told him that if being a Ministerial Servant™ meant that we had to tolerate that kind of abuse from the CO or DO then he probably shouldn't count on getting Appointed™, ever.
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lisavegas420
I remember my sister telling me about another sister.that would purposely be unsubmissive so her husband couldn't move up the ladder. She even bragged about it.
And to scully...
Of course, my tone of voice rang true to my inner Jezebel™... anything but Submissive™. Sister DO was shocked that I would speak to her Grand Poobah husband with such disrespect.
You go girl...lmao.
lisa
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diamondblue1974
I told him that if being a Ministerial Servant™ meant that we had to tolerate that kind of abuse from the CO or DO then he probably shouldn't count on getting Appointed™, ever.
Amen!
Db74