A Friend Needs Advice and Help--NOW!!!!

by whyizit 24 Replies latest jw friends

  • outnfree

    By the sea-

    When you first began researching yourself, did you find yourself being an apologist for JW beliefs? I did. But the more I researched, the more I realized that the doctrines/assertions didn't add up. If you think you have the 1919 stuff down pat and can explain your doubts using Society literature, you might challenge your husband to become the Watchtower apologist and disprove your allegations. I truly think giving HIM something to research is the best way. You can ask him to get back to you next weekend with what he's found.

    Good luck!


  • osmosis


    If I were in your shoes (or at least what your shoes look like from here) I would simply give him a copy of Crisis of Conscience, and ask that he refrain from further questions or demands until he has read that book. I suggest you NOT tell him what it's about, except perhaps in very vague terms. Just tell him it's the memoirs of a former GB member. I have read it, it's very good, and if you can get him to start reading it, I'm sure he will finish it.

    That should prepare him for the discussion you need to have with him, get you both on the same page, so to speak.

    If you don't happen to have a copy on you, as I'm sure you don't with a JW spouse, it's reasonable to ask that he be willing to postpone the discussion/ultimatum so you have time to come prepared.

  • bythesea

    Actually, Osmosis, I do have a copy...and its sequel, ISOCF...they are hidden in a box in the back of my closet!! He does know I've read them and its one of the things that I asked that he not reveal to the elders...he doesn't believe I can be DF for reading it, but I don't think I could get him to just because its written by someone now DF...and considered apostate. I DO like the idea of until we're on the same page(so to speak) then its difficult to have any kind of sharing of thoughts...it will just end up being another session of "I'm right and you're wrong!" I guess all I can do is ask him to read it...he can only say NO!

    btw, my shoes are Birkenstocks! hahaha

  • bythesea

    Thanks, Outnfree...I think you're right about giving him something to research...see if he can prove ME wrong, rather than me having to prove the WTS wrong on so many of their history and teachings. he isn't a big reader(listens to the mags. on DVD in his car as he travels back and forth) so I don't know how much he can actually do in terms of research during the week. But he is seriously interested in having discussions on what I now believe, even wants us to make a list of what I currently believe vs what I don't so we have a basis for discussion...it kind of feels like a set-up....putting it all down on paper, so don't know if I will do that!

    I didn't set off expecting to discover the things that I have either when I began my research...I was/am shocked at the results of a yrs worth of studying and reading on the internet...no wonder the WTS don't want us to go online! It all started with me looking for evidence that their DF policy was truly biblical....needless to say......!!

  • AudeSapere

    I don't have time right now to read all the responses, but FreedomFrog is having similar discussion with her mom. You might have your friend read these threads for some ideas:




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