I'm feeling low - losing a friend

by Spectrum 21 Replies latest social relationships

  • Spectrum
    Spectrum

    I met a girl about a year and a half ago and we became really good platonic friends. She was bright, cute and always put a smile on my face with her lovely sense of humour, just a great girl. Then one day with tears in her eyes she told me she had to leave but wouldn't tell me why. She left, and I went to the pub and got drunk. The passage of time "healed me" but I couldn't think about her and not feel an emptiness and a loss so I tried not to think about her.
    Today a year later she called me out of the blue and told me she was coming to see me. I was so happy. I went and bought her favourite ice cream that we used to share. I thought she wanted to continue where we left off but instead she came to tell me that she is leaving the UK for good and it's a final goodbye. I asked her to keep in touch but I know she won't. She returned a television that I bought for her during our good times but looking at it hurts, it represents a great loss to me but at the same time it's all I've got of her and can't bring myself to throwing it out.
    Don't know what to do, how to not be sad when I think about her.

  • What-A-Coincidence
    What-A-Coincidence

    sorry to hear about that...

    I have been there before...time healed me

  • luna2
    luna2

    Aw, Spectrum, that's so sad. I wonder why she wouldn't at least try to keep in touch somehow. Did she say where she was going?

  • KW13
    KW13

    ah man, i'm really sorry about that. felt sad from reading it.

  • snarf
    snarf

    . Losing a friend always hurts....hugs to you.

  • Van Gogh
    Van Gogh

    Dear Spectrum,
    I sense your hurt.
    You were still hoping and then the sudden finiteness of someone disappearing out of your life.
    The utter loneliness of melancholy can make one dangerously defenseless.
    Fight it, I would say, and do not dwell on it, because there is nothing you can do to change history.
    Time will heal; you are not alone in this respect.
    VG

  • Spectrum
    Spectrum

    Thanks guys for your kind words they certainly mellow my pain somewhat.

    VG
    Fighting it is all I can do. I wasn't expecting to see her again and now a have to start all over again with the realisation that it's final.

    luna2,
    She's going to Spain but didn't offer me any contact details and that really hurt. I don't know why she did what she did. I was always kind to her, never had an argument with her and never said no to her, I couldn't she was so sweet.

  • luna2
    luna2

    I wouldn't understand either, Spec. Unless she wasn't going to have a computer and/or didn't even have an address yet (for snail mail). I guess I wonder why she contacted you at all.

  • Nina
    Nina

    I don't think you have lost this friend. There is something in her private life that she needs to take care of. It seems, though, that she doesn't want to completely sever ties to the life she is leaving behind. (Why else would she even contact you?)

    I think you will hear from her again. You are obviously important to her. I think she is mixed up right now but, given time and the right circumstances, she will be able to include you in her life once again. Try not to close the door from your side.

    Nina

  • kls
    kls

    There really is nothing that anyone can say to take away the hurt you have been feeling and i am really sorry you have been hurt twice.

    The only thing that helps is time

    (((((((Hugs )))))))))

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