I'm feeling low - losing a friend

by Spectrum 21 Replies latest social relationships

  • misanthropic
    misanthropic

    :Then one day with tears in her eyes she told me she had to leave but wouldn't tell me why.


    Maybe she has more feelings for you than she believed you had for her? The mysterious sudden leaving and everything, maybe she feels she had to go far away from you to get over you? Could this have been a possibility (I dunno, just a thought)? It seems odd she wouldn't have said anything about why she was going to leave the first time, and now leaving the Country when you were at one time so close and all.

  • serendipity
    serendipity

    ((( Spectrum )))

    Why don't you ask her why she doesn't want to stay in contact? If for some reason you offended her, you then have a chance to make amends. If there's another reason, at least you'll know.

    I think misanthropic might be on to something. If she had feelings for you, but knew you didn't feel the same and/or knew that the two of you didn't have a future together, it may have been easier to just withdraw and move on rather than stay in touch. I'm like that.

  • Spectrum
    Spectrum

    serendipity,

    I did ask her but she wouldn't tell me. Everytime I asked her she just teared up. When she turned up yesterday I thought it wasn't wise to ask her again. I never offended I'm sure of that.

    Nina,

    I hope you are right. It put a smile on my face when I read your post but at the same time don't want fasle hope. I think she is mixed up about something - don't know what though.

    kls,
    thanks for your sentiments.

    misanthropic,

    I think if she had feelings for me I would have known. I've not yet met a girl that could hide those feelings from me. Maybe this one was good at hiding those feelings. If that is the case I'll probably never know now. Maybe this is the answer.

    luna2,
    She is very apt with computers and mobile phones and what-not. That isn't the problem, she just doesn't want to communicate.
    She disappears for a year then shows up to say goodbye.

    Just before she got up to leave she said that she met a lovely family and she was going to invite them to stay with her in Spain for the summer. That's when I realised she for some reason she just called it a day with me.

  • LittleToe
    LittleToe

    We probably feel the loss of friendships more acutely, having had so many torn away from us.

    It sounds like there was a lack of communication all round. You never asked, and she never told.

    As for the TV - eBay...

  • jojochan
    jojochan
    I thought she wanted to continue where we left off but instead she came to tell me that she is leaving the UK for good and it's a final goodbye. I asked her to keep in touch but I know she won't. She returned a television that I bought for her during our good times but looking at it hurts, it represents a great loss to me but at the same time it's all I've got of her and can't bring myself to throwing it out.

    That HAS to hurt...

    jojochan.

  • Ingenuous
    Ingenuous

    {{{{{Spectrum}}}}}

    I've lost a number of platonic male friends I've met online, but they usually disappear without saying a word. I suspect they develop a romantic interest and somehow feel they can't continue our friendship, but they've never explained or said 'goodbye', so I don't know for sure.

  • Robdar
    Robdar

    Don't know what to do, how to not be sad when I think about her.

    Of course you are sad. It's okay to feel that way. Don't fight it. Experience it. Let your "wound" heal naturally.

  • Spectrum
    Spectrum

    LittleToe,

    I decided to get rid of that TV it only depresses me and I don't need it for the memories.

    jojochan,
    Ingenuous,
    Robdar,

    Thanks for the kind words. Like most have said time will smooth over the rough patches.

  • Fleur
    Fleur

    Gee, I don't know what to say, I'm so sorry. That seems a very odd thing for a person to do to a good friend :(

    I know this. If you're as true a friend to her as you seem to have been...she'll regret not telling you where she's going. I just wonder if she won't call you out of the blue again in the future...I'm really sorry :( Good, true friendships are rare in this world. It always pains me to see people just let them go :( Maybe they don't realize how precious an extraordinary they really are.

    hugs

    essie

  • Spectrum
    Spectrum

    Fleur,

    " Good, true friendships are rare in this world. It always pains me to see people just let them go :( Maybe they don't realize how precious an extraordinary they really are."

    You are absolutely right Fleur. True friends come along once in a blue moon. I just hope she realise this. What a waste and missed opportunity if she doesn't. If she does call I hope this time it's to continue our friendship.

    Thanks for the sentiments

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