Having visited this site on many occasions, and having been recommended to it, I am confident that it is a source of good advice from people who know about these things. I would be grateful for any advice you can offer me.
I have been an atheist for 20+ years, but before that was a non-conformist protestant with degrees of belief varying from acceptance to enthusiasm. My atheism resulted from research because of my (continuing) interest in the effects of religion. I had done research into cults (including JWs) many years ago, and my recent renewed research with the benefit of the Interenet has only confirmed my cynicsm. I am a middle-aged man, naturally sceptic, and it's worth pointing out here that there is no danger of me being drawn into the JWs.
My issue is this. Last year I moved to a completely new area. My new neighbours are a young family with two small children (one has just started school, one is pre-school). The parents are very strong JWs, the wife being from a JW background, the husband a convert to it. Both are very active on door-to-door work (taking the children with them), the husband seems to perform minor assistant works at their meetings, etc. The older child is already proudly quoting Bible verses (one from Psalms, I think, about the name 'Jehovah') and telling me that her dad is a 'pioneer'.
I enjoy discussing religious issues (with anybody) especially my views on what I see as the 'invention of Pauline Christianity', and have done so with them several times. On a couple of occasions I went with them to their Sunday morning services out of interest (having read much about them but never seen them in action). I was taken aback by the formulaic nature, the complete adherence to the magazine outline, and the lack of any discussion, etc. To be honest, there were several people attending who obviously were not very familiar with English and yet struggled to get out a few-word answer to questions and seemed very proud to have done so. To be honest, I found it hard at times to keep a straight face. Afterwards, I was introduced to a few men (elders I would guess) and invited to dinner etc. at some future time (which I managed to avoid with vague 'busy plans' etc.
I also went recently with this couple to their passover/memorial service. My motivation was mainly interest but there was also, I must confess, a little bit of devilment in wanting to ask people questions about the 'anointed' etc. I also reckoned (rightly or not, I don't know) that the couple might get some 'brownie points' by taking a 'potential recruit' with them. I did ask a few innocent questions of some of the (I suspect) outside afterwards - like why there were no 'anointed' in their service and whether JWs had an overall list of all the anointed, etc. - but got little response, and they seemed a bit less interested in me than previously. I was wearing jeans and smoking a cigarette at the time.
My problem is this. Whilst I am aware of 'love-bombing' etc. I think that this couple are genuinely nice people and really good neighbours. For example, a few months ago I was laid quite low with a cold/flu and couldn't be bothered to even go out to the shops (I live alone). They called round a couple of times to check I was OK, brought hot meals, even offered to do my washing for me! I would hate to cause offence to them, and have explained politely that I cannot accept their religion even on the grounds of looking at its own literature, history, organisation, etc., and that I am an atheist with views on various basic tenets of all religions, let alone the Christian and Christain-derived ones. I have also suggested to them that if they continue to socialise with me they may have issues with their congregation who would, I am sure, see me as a 'bad association'. They seem to be quite happy to remain friends, inviting me for meals, etc.
The other concern I have is for their children. Having read so many heart-rending stories on here and elsewhere of some with JW childhoods my heart breaks a little for the children, especially the elder. I know that already she has had problems in school (schools in this area are very mainstream religion influenced), with Christmas, Mother's Day, etc. (her Mum told me this at great length and seemed to be proud of what the child was suffering for the sake of her religion). The children noticeably do not have friends to play with.
Having got this far, I'm not quite sure what specific advice I'm asking for. I suppose its this. If I continue friendship with this couple, could it lead to trouble for them within JWs? They like to raise religious questions, and while I tone down my responses I cannot either pretend to accept what they say or fail to respond to what I see as factual discrepancies. On one occasion I went for dinner at their house, they had another couple present who are very active JWs, ex-Bethel (luckily I had shortly before found out what that was) so I made sure I steered clear of anything contentious.
Part of me says that I should politely steer clear of them and that their friendship is a means to an end (i.e. converting the unbeliever). I have no misapprehensions that anything I could say to them or show them would cause them to doubt their faith - it may only cause them turmoil. But the other part says that these are nice people.
Is this sort of story familiar to anyone? Sorry for the length of this posting. All comments gratefully received.