I got off easy because my father is an Elder

by Pwned 38 Replies latest jw experiences

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  AuldSoul

  Bro. So-and-so's son?

  Con-stant-ly. In my case, it was much worse because of a large family in several congs around the area. "This is Bro. So-and-so's (son, grandson, nephew, cousin)." It is like they are connecting me, in the mind of the person I was meeting, to the reputation of my family which was rarely my own reputation. Most of my relatives are local somebodies, pio., elder, substitute CO, RBC member, Building Region Department Overseers, District Convention Coordinator, etc.

  Talk about standing in the shadow of great-nuts...but it made me more resistant to wanting that JW status, so I guess I should be thankful for it.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
• 

  XJW4EVR

  JW life can be a bewildering amalgam of positive and negative experiences.

  That is such a profound statement.
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  Woofer

  A lot of the elders kids in my hall got away with stuff.

  My mom always used to say that the elders had the worst kids.

  My dad was never and elder but he still ended up with a bad kid . . .
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  lilybird

  It was the same in our congregation.. the kids of elders always got away with everything and they were usually the worst of all...
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  ballistic

  There is also a great deal of descrepancy in the way DF are treated by their families. In this regard I feel that I got off easy. But I guess that is no consolation to those in this board who have been completely "cut off".
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  AuldSoul

  ballistic,

  I was completely cut off, and it is definitely some consolation to me that not all are. Thank you.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
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  cognizant dissident

  My father, the PO, wanted my disassociated sister to be reinstated so we could all socialize with her without getting into trouble. So he practically wrote her letter for her, making sure it said all the right things and got her to sign it. Then he sent it off to his buddy elder's in her territory. A few follow-up phone calls later and presto she was reinstated. She never even had to set foot in the kingdom hall, and still hasn't to this day. Oh, sorry, she did once, for the one meeting with the elders where she told them that yes, she was rash in sending a DA letter to them and regretted it. Talk about despotism at its finest. She's my own sister, and I love her, but even I have to admit, that was totally unfair.

  Cog (Of the well-connected, it definitely IS who you know class!)
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  AuldSoul

  Yeah, Cog...my dad would do that for me in a heartbeat. Anything if I was trying to come back. He even offered to get me counseling if I would just hang on. I tried to reason with him on what he thought a counselor would recommend after I describe JWism...rolled right past him. NO counselor would recommend remaining a JW once they hear what it means.

  Respectfully,
  AuldSoul
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  cognizant dissident

  Auld Soul

  Speaking of counselling and JW's, here's a funny one for you!

  When same sister was DA'd and my parents were trying the shunning thing to make her come around, she became suicidally depressed. She went to a family counsellor, who recommended my parents come in for a few sessions with her. (She was only 20 at the time and living at home.)

  My father was very resistant. "Why should I have to go, there's nothing wrong with me?" I believe those were his exact words but he eventually agreed to go. Now, keep in mind, he has had all three of his daughters see psychiatrists for serious depression at some point, with all of us pointing the finger at him and the controlling, critical, perfectionistic, JW upbringing he has blessed us with . So, my dad walks into the session and immediately, before he even sits down, gives the "Making Your Family Life Happy" book to the counsellor! Tells him this is what he believes and he will only discuss things from the viewpoint of the book! You gotta admit the guy has got some nerve!

  I'm not sure what's bigger, his cajones or his denial!

  Cog
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  greendawn

  It's only natural for parents to treat their children and even other close relatives in a privilidged way even if they do something serious. But I think in most cases they can only go so far. In the congo I was in two children of elders were d'Fed one for being openly homosexual and the other for habitual shoplifting.