Kids referring to older ones as AUNTIE or UNCLE

by lowden 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • AnnOMaly
    AnnOMaly

    I know it's the accepted norm nowadays for children to call adults by their first names, so I can see why some think it creepy for children to call people they barely know 'auntie' and 'uncle' but I personally don't see anything too strange in it.

    In the 'old days' there was a certain formality between people - everyone would say 'Mr. ___ 'or 'Mrs. ___ ' when addressing or referring to somebody - sometimes even when they knew that person quite well! Over time there's been an eroding of that 'stuffiness' (fortunately), but I still feel there should be a healthy respect or formality between children and unrelated adults - call me old-fashioned.

    In a close community - especially one that is supposed to be like one big family anyway - how do you teach children to address adults in an appropriately respectful manner? 'Bro. ___' or 'Sister ___' is OK, but can still be too stuffy-sounding or precocious for a child, and only using first names can be overly familiar, so 'Uncle ___' or 'Auntie ___' is a compromise. That's all there is to it.

    The terms 'uncle' and 'auntie' only become weird or sinister in contexts where the 'uncle' and 'auntie' are out to manipulate, control and harm the child.

  • glitter
    glitter

    Whilst i genuinely respect the views of the posters that think refering to others as auntie or uncle is 'nice' or 'respectful', they should think of how 'safe' this makes the grooming environment for child molesters to operate in.

    Because *every* adult is just *itching* to abuse kids. This is the same sort of thinking that means parents are banned from videoing school Nativity plays.

    I hope my friends' kids will call me Auntie. I promise not to molest any of them.

  • Mulan
    Mulan

    I think it is no big deal. I met some children in Malaysia, who were instructed to call me Auntie Marilyn. Everyone else called me Mrs. Marilyn. I don't think it's anything to get concerned about.

    Some German friends had their children call us Auntie and Uncle too. The kids are grown now, and it was kind of nice I thought. I liked it.

  • Insomniac
    Insomniac

    When I worked in a Chinese restaurant a few years back, after a few months I started noting that the owner's children, and other the children of various relatives who were there quite a bit, all started calling me Auntie. One of the older kids told me it was a gesture of respect, which they felt I had earned during those six months. I loved it, I thought it was absolutely adorable, but remember, these were kids I knew fairly well by that time.

    In Texas, I recall one sister from the hall telling her kids to call me Miss Elizabeth when I came over to babysit. I found this charming, as well. I guess this sort of thing would feel strange, however, if I didn't know the kids pretty well.

  • PoppyR
    PoppyR

    I hated this, when I was newly married and only 22, a young brother in the cong would call me aunty poppy... ewww. He was about 16, I constantly told him to stop it!

    As a youth, it's a painful stage to go from calling people in the cong aunty and uncle to their first names, usually it's a phase which has much mumbling and talking behind my hand!

    I never really considered the child abuse aspect, I just thought as all us adults call each other brother and sister, it seemed natural for the kids to view them as aunty and uncle.

    Funny with my kids though, when they were small and I had worldly friends, they used to refer to them as 'aunty'. and my friend was freaked out by it!

    Poppy

  • dorayakii
    dorayakii

    I never really thought of it as a Brit thing either, it was just so normal to call almost everyone in the cong, "Uncle or Aunty so-and-so".

    As a youth, it's a painful stage to go from calling people in the cong aunty and uncle to their first names, usually it's a phase which has much mumbling and talking behind my hand!

    I found this too... as i got older, one lady told me not to call her "Aunty" anymore, so i stopped calling anyone Uncle or Aunty, and started saying Brother or Sister so-and-so... at which point i got told off by another lady who i'd known for years, for calling her "Sister", she thought it was a little bit cold and distant, and told me to call her "Aunty"...

    Sister can only be used with the surname, whereas "Aunty must be used with the first name, so i got really confused, started for a while calling people things like "Uncle Smith" and "Sister Ruth" which sounded decidedly strange... then I stopped calling anyone anything for a while, until i was able to strike the balance right...

    It often depends on age, but equally as often on the length of time the person has known you. At one point i could call a 30 year old woman who i'd known for a long time "Aunty x" but a 45 year old woman who had just moved into the cong "Sister x"... In the end, i only called the very senior people in the congregation "Brother" or "Sister". I think a certain amount of grey hair warrented such a title.

  • fleaman uk
    fleaman uk

    don't want this to turn into a slanging match, but I think you need to do some research

    Yep,done it .No child abuse i knew of in 30 years.End of ,as far as im concerned.

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