Kids referring to older ones as AUNTIE or UNCLE

by lowden 26 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  Scully

  I noticed this was common among various cultural groups. It was kind of a signal to the children that this other adult was screened by the parent and accepted as trustworthy. Of course, it's not much of a stretch to realize that someone with ulterior motives could patiently wait out the seduction phase of a "friendship", only to eventually abuse the trust that was given to them.

  This is why I have a problem with the terms Brother™ and Sister™. It implies that the individual(s), as bona fide member(s) of the Christian Congregation of Jehovah's Witnesses™, have met some kind of standard for exemplary conduct. However, even when one of these Brothers™ or Sisters™ is found out to be a pedophile, and even if the Congregation Elders™ DF the person... what happens when they get Reinstated™? They get to be called Brother™ So-and-so or Sister™ So-and-so again, as though nothing ever happened.

  The WTS needs to stop doing this, because if they aren't going to allow families to protect themselves with fair warning, they'd damn well better find a way to do it "discreetly". Why not disallow them from referring to themselves as Brother™ or Sister™ all together? Why not just refer to these people as Mr. or Mrs.? It would be such a simple, but meaningful distinction...
• 

  deeskis

  We were raised to refer to all of our parents' friends in the congregation in Glasgow as uncle or auntie. I thought it was a JW thing, but maybe it's a general UK custom.

  I liked it at the time, but now I would never dream of telling my kids to call a friend by that term.
• 

  nelly136

  i had to do that as a kid, i didnt like it then and it gives me the willies thinking about it now.
• 

  MidwichCuckoo

  It never occurred to me that this was just a Brit thing.

  When I was a child, all my friends' parents had to be called 'Auntie' and 'Uncle'...... friends of my parents were also addressed the same.
• 

  dozy

  My main reason for this is that i think it creates trust in people that are strangers to the family unit and for some kids, it's part of the grooming process for molestation.

  I think that is a bit harsh. I always called older ones Uncle & Aunty and teach my children to do the same. It is a pleasant custom and engenders respect for older ones. This custom is by no means exclusive to JWs - a lot of the children at school call adults that they know well Aunty and Uncle.
• 

  south african beef

  I remember my mum telling me to call everyone in the congregation either "brother" or "sister" because she said that "Uncle" or 'Auntie" wasn't correct as they were not my actual relatives - seems a bit strange compared to others on this thread.
  
  I was to call everyone 'brother' or 'sister' because of course everyone was my SPIRITUAL brother or sister!
• 

  lowden

  Whilst i genuinely respect the views of the posters that think refering to others as auntie or uncle is 'nice' or 'respectful', they should think of how 'safe' this makes the grooming environment for child molesters to operate in. A social worker specialising in this area told my ex-wife a few years ago that the JW faith was RIFE with these paedophiles. This was before the real truth of this hit the shores of the UK with the infamous Panorama TV programme. The WTS in the UK should address this and strengthen their almost non existent Child Protection Policy. It stinks!

  Peace

  Lowden
• 

  fleaman uk

  A social worker specialising in this area told my ex-wife a few years ago that the JW faith was RIFE with these paedophiles. This was before the real truth of this hit the shores of the UK with the infamous Panorama TV programme. The WTS in the UK should address this and strengthen their almost non existent Child Protection Policy. It stinks!

  i really think that is the most ridiculous and hysterical comment ive heard for a while.The JW,s are rife with child abuse in the UK?I dont think so.in fact i dont think there is a country in the world that is "rife"with paedophile JW,s.!!In 30 Years of association with the religion i wasnt aware of ONE case of child abuse..and i had a wide range of friends and aquaintances in the religion and as all know,gossip is a JW speciality.Yes,it must happen (as im sure it does in every community..who knows,shock horror there may be ex-jw molesters!!)but comments such as the above are just stoopid imo.

  Going back to the topic ,yeah i was told to say uncle and aunt ,didnt hurt me,thought it was a bit daft though.
• 

  whyamihere

  Really? This topic is quiet interesting.

  I have never thought about it. I never tell my children to call anyone" Aunt" or "Uncle" unless it is there Aunt or Uncle. It is a sign of respect. Would you call your teacher by there first name, or parent? I think not. I still address my aunts and uncles as Aunt so and so.

  We have a few close friends, and they are allowed to call these such wonderful goofy guys "Uncle". Furthermore, they are never allowed to call any adult by there first name only. It is disrespectful in my book. Example....our neighbors Kurt and Tiffany. They call them Mr. Kurt and Miss. Tiffany. If they do not know them and they're a complete stranger it is Ma'am or Sir. I even use that.

  I get alot of compliments from such people telling me my children are the most polite respectful children.

  Brooke
• 

  lowden

  Fleaman

  Maybe the reason you never heard of the abuse cases is that it has been kept hush hush for so long. If you never in 30 yrs heard of a case of abuse, you must have had your head in the sand. I was affiliated for 15yrs and heard of quite a few, some of them were friends and that's without the ones that are dealt with by private reproof. The number of paedophiles on the 'books' of the WTS was said by one source to be 25,000 worldwide and even if that's an hysterical exagerration, which it may well be, then even half of that number is too many. I don't want this to turn into a slanging match, but I think you need to do some research before you post such strong minded replies. If other parents are comfortable with their kids referring to adults with the auntie/uncle tag then that's fine, i just know that i, as a parent of 3 great boys have my own personal limits.

  Peace

  Lowden