Inactive people, who show up only for the memorial. (page 3)

upside/down

It just goes to show what a great weapon FEAR is...

How convoluted is that? It's almost like a little "life insurance policy"...ya know...just in case.

u/d(of the no longer fears any deity class)

PoppyR

The first couple of times going after fading out was tough. But I've since realized that since I no longer accept their authority or their beliefs I have nothing to fear. I walk in as if I've been at every meeting in the last five years and speak to everyone, have some good chats, carry on with some of the guys I knew before. Then I zone out for an hour, wake up in time to pass the wine/crackers and then go to dinner with family/friends. It puzzles the dubs to see me a happy, easy going guy instead of the miserable, guilt-ridden inactive person they expect to see. That's my passive-aggressive campaign against them. Show them that they don't affect me and that I'm happy and enjoying life. It bugs the shit out of 'em.

Some very interesting posts, loved this one! I dont think many understand, I am going to the memorial for my own reasons, not because I believe, not because I am afraid not to. It's pure and simple family that I dont want to lose. However my plan was to sneak in and sneak out, now I realise what I need to do is show them how happy I am since I've left, so I must suck it up and show them my smile. (a double vodka might help!)

Thanks for this, it's given me inspiration.

Poppy x

delilah

it would leave more of an impression among the rank and file if all faders showed up happy, smiling and showing them that life outside of the organization has been good, not miserable as they've been taught that it would be.

Very true, Undercover. However, I don't need to go to the Memorial to show them. They can see it every time they pass by me on the street.I just cannot step foot inside the Kh ever again. It makes me physically ill to even think about doing so, except for when my grandparents pass, then I shall.

free2beme

There's other people like me who still have family in and who feel the same way.......your friend could be in the same boat

They have friends that do not understand the apostate side I know, as they are still Witnesses (not active elders or menisteral servants). I think, that in order to keep them as friends, this is done to keep life less complicated.

flag

I'm not attending. But I agree with undercovered....

If attending will bring peace in my family I'll do it!!!!!

But fortunately my husband is out, my kids are teenagers and haven't been to meetings for about 2 years and they are happy I'm out.

In my cong. they used to call the ones that only attended once a year "Submarines" because they only surfaced once in a while.

anewme

I think you all are the most conscientious bunch I have ever had the pleasure to meet.

The thoughtfullness going into every decision whether to go or not is touching.

You are exceptional people one and all!

It makes no difference to God whether you go or stay at home (or do like Tetrapod).

What matters is every day you are thinking about what is the right thing to do in your circumstance.

I am very touched by the posters who are ardent opposers who going for the sake of others.

That is amazing compassion for the gentle budding spiritualities of others.

And for those who are free to do as they choose, congratulations on your freedom!

I will continue to read what you all have to say about this night.

jambon1

But I've since realized that since I no longer accept their authority or their beliefs I have nothing to fear. I walk in as if I've been at every meeting in the last five years and speak to everyone, have some good chats, carry on with some of the guys I knew before. Then I zone out for an hour, wake up in time to pass the wine/crackers and then go to dinner with family/friends. It puzzles the dubs to see me a happy, easy going guy instead of the miserable, guilt-ridden inactive person they expect to see. That's my passive-aggressive campaign against them. Show them that they don't affect me and that I'm happy and enjoying life. It bugs the shit out of 'em.

Well said mate. Knew a lot like you when I was in and wanted to be one!!

Free forever.

J

zagor

I'm glad someone raised this issue because I've seen it lots of time and always wondered why.
WTBS doctrines are overwhelming to many witnesses even after they leave and it takes many years of deprogramming before one starts looking at it with different eyes. For all that time they go through emotional and spiritual roller coaster and it is not surprising that many of them, though being effectively out, still cling to old beliefs - probably at some level they still make them comfortable about themselves and the life in general.

Mulan

Yes and the wonderful "loving friends" have "theocratic" nicknames for them like, submarines who come up for air, or as one "loving elder" kept calling them "memorialites". Just to much love for me. I'd rather stay home and post on JWD.

In our congregation, we called them "Memorial Stars".............out once a year.

One of our daughters in law goes every year. I am not sure if she went last night though. She hasn't been out as long as the rest of us, so I'm sure it's somewhat of a comfort for her. Last year, she forgot about it until the last minute and raced to the KH, hoping to get there in time. When she got home, my son asked her how it was and she said "se habla espanol?" That was hilarious. A good laugh for all of us. She doesn't understand the language, in case you wondered.

The last one we went to was in '97. I was in Malaysia, on business, and felt like I had to go to it. Same old, same old.

Inactive people, who show up only for the memorial.

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