what to do next (page 3)

Scully

OK, what in the living hell is going on here? My post keeps getting eaten.

Maybe the server is hungry for atheists. I'd better watch out, then, huh?

RunningMan

Perhaps, in honour of the memorial, the server is partaking of the body of my post.

JamesThomas

"Nothing seems to ease what I feel inside. I thought it would eventually subside, but it hasn't."

That is the nature of this aching: persistency. Don't plan on it leaving until you see clearly what it wants you to see. It may make more sense if you see it more as a calling, rather than an affliction.

"I don't feel content to just be me and live my life."

There is sooo much innate wisdom coming to the surface in this little sentence.

If the "me" that is believed to be you, and the "my life" that is believed to be the reality around it, are not what self really and truly is, then it makes sense there would be a sense of discontent; would it not?

Generally, existence is experienced as a "me" which seems painfully compressed and frighteningly venerable; a little "self" which feels isolated and detached from the vibrancy of life passing by outside it. This suffering, individual, little "me" (everything the mind tells us we are and we believe to be) is -- fiction.

"Anyway if you don't mind would you enlarge on the Actual Living Truth."

The Actual-Living-Truth is: there is no separate "me"; no separate anything. There is the seamless wholeness of life and existence; and you are That.

This has to be clearly seen and realized; and often is when consciousness sufficiently observes the mind weaving it's grand story of "me", and then sees through it to the underlying and foundational truth and reality of Self. This may be easy, or more likely, it may be anything but easy, because it's very much like a death, this seeing through everything we believe ourselves to be. So, be most kind and patient through this.

Dig out The Power of Now, Moanzy, and see if there isn't more there than was first seen. Eckhart gives some very clear guidance on Self discovery.

j

Sirona

Much of the pleasure for me is the exploration part....if we knew "the answer" then there'd be no fun in exploring / communicating / experiencing God(dess)

Sirona

moanzy

Scully- thanks! simple, but easier said than done. Wish I was there already.

RunningMan- I agree.

James Thomas- I will get my book out and see what I learn this time!!! Can I ask how long it took you to get to this point? Did you struggle with grasping these Truths also?

Moanzy

JamesThomas

if we knew "the answer" then there'd be no fun in exploring / communicating / experiencing God(dess)

The answer is we are actually all of life, existence and the vastness which it all dances within. Knowing that only enhances the unknowable and indefinable wonder, vibrancy, mystery and beauty of it all.

j

JamesThomas

Did you struggle with grasping these Truths also?

You bet. What can be the most difficult is not "grasping", and rather allowing Reality to show itself. There is a stopping, a stillness, a surrender required that is very different from anything ever done; because it's a not a "doing", and it's not a not-doing. It's like dying while being acutely aware. It can lead to some pretty weird times.

It doesn't have to be difficult though. But, ya, I have had a hell of a time with it. Perhaps though this can heighten a sense of compassion and understanding of others that are dealing with it; or not.

j

Narkissos

Hi Moanzy,

If all we do is experience life with no judgement then we would have harmony in ourselves, but it is painfully difficult to be around people. Aside from being a hermit I don't understand how to achieve harmony and still live in this world. In other words how do I integrate the knowlege I have now gained from research into my everyday life.

That is exactly where humour becomes vital imo.

When all your serious search has led you to the ultimate tautology, and you realise that you are no more "advanced" than anybody else -- not because you haven't found, but because you have... a burst of laughter is in order. Then you are ready to play the common social game, absurd, silly, purposeless as it may be. True, those who have been playing it all the time without looking for anything "deeper" will probably play it better than you, but your force is that you know it to be a game. You cannot take it seriously anymore. And this difference can be amazingly liberating to a lot of people, even if you don't realise it.

poppers

Moanzy,

I will leave you in the very capable hands of JamesThomas for guidance. He and I share the same view, but I feel his style of pointing things out and explaining will be better understood by you.

poppers

Fleur

Oh, Moanzy you sure are a woman after my own heart. When I read your post the first thing I thought was "Man, I hope James Thomas sees this and replies, this is just his forte!" and sure enough, here he is!!! :) He is so eloquent at describing ideas and thoughts that slip away from me when I try to articulate them. Thanks again JT for great posts that help more people than you know.

When I stopped looking, I came to the clarity that I was desperate for all along. I too recommend reading The Power of Now and also just trying to live for awhile with the thought of "what if there is no duality between me and the Divine...what if I am That which I've been seeking all along?"

The more you try to grasp it the more quickly it slips away, like trying to hold sand in your fingers.

I wish I were more articulate, more able to tell you what I've experienced, splitting headache at the moment is making me duller than usual in the brain (no comments from the peanut gallery LOL) and I hope to post more later...but you are at a threshhold of such exciting discovery...and all I can tell you from my own journey is that I feel so much more peace now that I have given up the ideas of the vindictive, vengeful and bloodthirsty Father figure deity, who demanded human sacrifice to satiate his rage. To me the idea is like a parent sacrificing one child because the other made them angry. I can't fathom it. I can't fathom sacrificing a PET for a child who made a mistake. What kind of parent would do that? How much moreso should a Loving God be understanding of our imperfection if we are really His Children?

Gee I have the scary suspicion that I'm making no sense at all here LOL so I better stop now. But i wanted you to know that you're not alone in the search, and you will find answers that can satisfy your heart and soul. Just be still, and you will know.

hugs

essie

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