I tried to kill myself over the weekend. Slit my wrists to watch the bath tub fill with blood. This was after a phone call with my mother telling me can't love me because I don't love Jehovah. I'm okay. I survived thankfully. I had teh presence of mind to call someone, and that person had teh presence of mind to take me seriously. The police and paramedics got to me in time. I certainly don't recommend this for anyone. It REALLY sucks. It doesnt punish anyone but yourself. I learned a valuable lesson: sometimes things just have to stay broken. I'm okay REALLY. I just wanted to say thank you for posting this info. DON'T do it. There is absolutely NOTHING to be accomplished by it. (yes I'm teh one who posted about it on another board)
SUICIDE 'permanent solution to temporary problem'
by DannyHaszard 14 Replies latest watchtower scandals
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DannyHaszard
I'm sure, how do we get the results
The results will be published
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ApagaLaLuz
You are worthy of being LOVED unconditionaly, and if you will believe and open up to it, love will find you. The darkenss will pass. It did for me, it will for you. Love~Kate
Thanks Kate, this is exactly the place I was at. I've struggled for sometime with the feeling of not being good enough to be loved. To have that confirmed by my mother is what sent me over the edge. Well that, and my 2.1 blood alcohol level. ;)
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Van Gogh
A bro from my circle of friends in my neighboring cong committed suicide at the age of around 24 around 1987. He went to a hotel room and planned everything meticulously. He came from a large and loving, close JW family. When his boyfriends turned up at the funeral, it came out he had been actively gay.
This cute little blond sister around 24 years old, pearl necklace and all, from another cong who visited our cong on occasion, committed suicide out of the blue about a year ago. She would always answer up dutifully at the WT-study. As far as I know, it was a complete mystery as to why she did it.
My dad completely derailed in 1976 after 'reaching out' in an exemplary fashion for a couple of years as a leading, up-and-coming elder. This went on for about three years after which my mother committed suicide after having been on heavy anti-depressants for many years. My dad finally completely self-destructed on alcohol and anti-depressants about six months later. There was never a proper explanation as to what caused this to happen, but lately I have been considering the debasing and destructive side effects of JW beliefs and subculture, in which (premature) death can be considered either a very relative thing, a shortcut to paradise, or a very definite way out of an inescapable and stifling system.
VG
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Apostate Kate
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Luz you simply must seek out a support system for you. It will not be easy because the only ones who can truly relate are those of us who have been through it. So if this Forum and others like it are all you got, stick with them while you actively look for more support.
All communities have different types of support groups for depression etc. GO. Do you have a therapist? GET ONE. You deserve to be emotionaly well, and you can be.
You ARE lovable, you ARE worthy, you will have many wonderful things in your life. That record that plays in your brain, the one that says "you are not good enough" you know that record. When it starts playing, that very second, take immediate action. Call a friend, log on and express yourself, exersize, put on some posative music, if you can't shake the recordings call your therapist. Don't waste another minute of this wonderful life being a Watchtower victim. That is the best way to beat them. SURVIVE with an abundant JOY.
What we do when we leave the org is we internalize the pain. We turn it on ourselves because we have had to repress all our feelings for as long as we have been in it. We blame ourselves. This is what we have to change, the sooner the better.
IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Life is beautiful. All of it. No more drinking! That just masks the pain. You need PTSD therapy. You need a safe way to experience the anger without turning it on yourself.
La Luz es brillante! Aprende La Luz! (sp?)