Looking for some guidance from those who have been there!

by disowned&alone 18 Replies latest watchtower medical

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  disowned&alone

  I was so excited to come upon this website today! It's so nice to read logical, educated voices who have been brave enough to walk away from this organization. I was raised a JW, and every person that I personally know that has left has ended up miserable. I've got a cousin in my life who contracted HIV because of the bad choices he made on his own, and God knows that my mother reminds me of this...when she is willing to speak to me.

  Okay..here it goes....

  I was raised a JW (baptised at the young age of 10, regular pionerering by 13) and somewhere around 17, I began to develop a mind of my own. I started to understand that all people really believe that their resepective religion is true. Up until that point, I had assumed that they knew they didn't have "the truth", but were too lazy to do something about it. The day I turned 18, I explained to my mother that this was not the path for me...I came home the next day after my high-school graduation to find all of my worldly posessions on the front lawn and the locks changed...can't say I was suprised..but it was horrible anyway...

  Fast foward 8 years. I am now 25, and have searched long and hard for the "truth." I have no dealings with my family, and have been named an apostate because I am practicing another religion. However, the seeds planted in my youth continue to bloom. For instance, I cannot bring myself to believe in heaven nor in hell. Although I logically accept my new religious beliefs, I constantly find myself starting sentences with, "but Jehovah's Witnesses believe..." I can't seem to break free of this mindset...I continue to tell myself that I do not feel this way because I believe in the organization, but instead because there is always comfort in the familiar. Somedays I have to fight the urge to run to my mother and tell her I made a huge mistake, but I simply remind myself that I am only missing my family. (My entire extended family on both sides are JW's...cousins, uncles, grandparents...you name it)

  I know that this feeling must be common, and I believe that there must be a way to overcome it. If there is anyone who can provide me with advice, or the name of a good deprogrammer in the Los Angeles area, I would be hugely indebted. Thanks for taking the time answer this!

  Disowned and Alone.
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  SickofLies

  The best deprogramming you can get is right here my friend! Welcome aboard! Take some time to explore and read some of the posts that are hear, many people have been through what you have. Click on active topics at the top of the screen and see whats being talked about, check out the best of section and stick around, because your not alone here!
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  Legolas

  Welcome to the board!

  Stick around ...you will learn much!
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  Double Edge

  Hi D & A ! WELCOME. Glad to have you here. I've never been a dub, but there are numerous good folks here to help you. Pull up a chair and stay awhile..... you're about to take a journey of discovery .... . Just remember, on this board there have been many, many people who have been in your shoes....they now have new, 'positive' lives and will be a big help to you.

  In a couple of weeks/months, you'll be surprised at the "new" you.

  I look forward to your posts.
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  KW13

  The beauty of this place is in the variation of different people and circumstance yet how the ones that leave can come to the same conclusion. Its a lie.

  Welcome to the board, enjoy your stay
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  outoftheorg

  Well for me it took a while. I lost any trust in the wbts due to the way they treated people and the hypocricy I saw in the co's and other elders in their rather group meetings.

  But still had the feelings at times that you describe.

  Then I found this forum and learned that there are people here that actually lived in bethel or had taken the time to really compare the jw's teachings with the bible and especially, those who had taken the time to educate them selves regarding religion and history.

  Then step by step I destroyed each and every jw teachings in my mind one by one.

  The good teachings like good morals and honesty that are also taught in society in many ways I of course kept.

  When I was really convinced that I had enough information to throw out the ridiculous and there are many, it all seemed to come together that even though the wbts does teach some useful things, that I can find them almost any where and I no longer had to keep anything from the wbts in my mind or thoughts.

  That they really deserved complete removal from me and my life.

  Outoftheorg
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  Lady Liberty

  Dear Disowned & Alone,

  Welcome!! We are so glad to have you here!! As already stated, "You are not alone here!! " We all have different stories, it is true, but one thing is common, we care about each other. And we look to each other for support. I cannot imagine what it must have been like to have your own parents literally throw you out like that! You apparently have been thru ALOT! Do your parents speak to you at all? Ever?? You will find ones here who are living with that same kind of pain. Don't give up on them though. Maybe oneday their hearts will soften. Until then, like we tell all newcomers," WELCOME and we look forward to hearing more posts fom you."

  Sincerely,

  Your friend,

  Lady Liberty
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  lighthouse1956

  I still don't believe the trinity, and I cringe when a Catholic says "Mary, the mother of God" or that she was always a virgin. When someone talks about "rapture' I say 'oh, the 1st resurrection'.

  After all the talk about armageddon,when a precher talks about hellfire, I know he's tring to scare me.

  Still not used to anyone speaking in tougues, I still think the tongues at pennecost was known foreign language, not an unknown 'prayer language.'
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  AudeSapere

  Hi Disowned and Alone -

  Welcome to JWD. It's a great place to heal and grow.

  Also, occaisionally some members meet up in their respective local areas. This coming Saturday (April 15) some of us will get together. You are welcome to join us. It's a nice, informal group. Last time there were 6 of us. There may be a couple more this time.

  If you are interested, get a message to me or 'Sandy' and we will give you our cell phone number(s).

  Here's a link to the thread where Sandy posted the specifics: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/19/110907/1.ashx

  Consider it. I hope you join us.

  -Aude. (edited to insert the link)
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  phil78

  Welcome to the board.

  I just use this place when i need to remind myself how crazy my JW life was. Although it seemed normal at the time, life in the "truth" is a shielded and guided existance. What to think and how to feel.

  But you already know and accept that, being out for as long as you have. My family has never cut me off, so i cant really offer any advise on that front, but it is important for them to see that you have not gone crazy, or "off the rails".

  Just have faith and confidance in your own decissions, and while you are here, ask the questions you need help answering. But dont just accept all answers as right (thats a very JW thing to do), rather compare and research what you already know and what you are told, and the answers will be right in front of you. I think religion and faith is different for different people.

  Phil.