Here's a link to an earlier post this month similar to yours:
Riddle me this....
but the Watchtower official site makes them sound so friendly and loving lol
The watchtower site is a propaganda site. Information regarding disfellowshipping is given to witnesses through the watchtower magazine, or through a regular pamphlet called 'the kingdom ministry', at a witness-only meeting.
If you want a hint, you have to dig deep for it on the official site.
Here's something that might interest you. Its taken directly from their site, and I've given you the link to see for yourself.
(As an extra piece of information, when they say a phrase like 'look to Jehovah', they absolutely, without question, believe that the information from the Brooklyn leadership is coming directly from Jehovah. They are known as 'Gods mouthpiece'.)
A few quotes:
Godly wisdom is "first of all chaste." (James 3:17) Is your prospective mate more interested in his own sexual gratification than in his and your standing before God? If he is not putting forth an effort to live by God's moral standards now, what basis is there for believing that he will do so after marriage?—Genesis 39:7-12.
Some pursue riches and reap the inevitable consequences. (1 Timothy 6:9, 10) Others drift aimlessly through life with no goals to reach. (Proverbs 6:6-11) A godly man, however, will show the same determination as did Joshua, who said: "As for me and my household, we shall serve Jehovah."—Joshua 24:15.
Families that look to Jehovah for guidance are more likely to succeed.
One of the goals set for each family member is to read all articles in the Watchtower and Awake! magazines. Recently, they added daily Bible reading to their routine. By talking about what they read, family members encourage one another to continue the habit.
In the Christian congregation, those who are entrusted with responsibility are "tested as to fitness first." (1 Timothy 3:10) If you are thinking about getting married, you will want to be sure of the "fitness" of the other person. Consider, for example, the following questions. Though they are presented from the standpoint of a woman, many of the principles also apply to a man. And even those who are married can beneficially consider these points.
When it comes apparent that you are dating, all of the points in that article will be put to him in relation to you. Then, based on his attitude and response, he will be judged. That is the problem.
Thanks peach & steve... & everyone else (Im not recalling names right now sowwy)
I also apologize if this is repetitive post...Im sure we "nons" post this sort of topic repeatedly
What I'm sure I need to do is leave the "lawyer" in me at home and have an honest, non-accusational, non-judgmental discussion on the subject with him, if that possible. But thank you guys again for arming me with some knowledge.
Sidebar: It seems such a shame that an emotion as wonderful and God-given as LOVE could be stifled and undermined because of something like this. It truly makes my heart sad.
He quotes the bible and says that "bad associations corrupt good character" which is not untrue.
It's funny that you are considered "bad association" in the eyes of any Jehovah's Witness ( because of the fact you are not one ), yet he quotes this scripture to you. What is his point in quoting that to you?
Serene.....you REALLY need to aqauint yourself with this religion if your getting involved with him as you are. You'll notice if you type in "Jehovah's Witness" in any search engine, you'll come up with 99.9% of websites that put them in an extremely negative light. They are a cult....plain and simple and they have destroyed more lives than you can Imagine. Please inform yourself first.
I personally am married to a witness and was one myself up till 95. My wife and I worked it out gradually and we get along fine. Our child is grown with her own kids so there is no child raising problem with religion. However, I am one of the rare ones in this case...( and a very lucky one).
You'll find many here who's marriages have crumbled when one of them leaves the witness faith and the other remains, so I hope you stay here awhile and learn this is true. You'll also find if your boyfrien finds you visit sites such as this, he'll tell you we speak lies here about the witnesses. All witnesses believe this to be true as they have been told so by their leaders. You will find they are wrong.
Just so that you will know the history, I encourage you to read every ling about Jehovah's Witnesses on Wikipedia. You seem smart enough to get the right idea.
Your BF likely believes VERY strongly that the JWs are the only true religion and that no one who refuses to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses will be spared at Armageddon. He probably is trying to pressure you with the best of intentions, even if his efforts are misguided.
You might feel like a Jew in Nazi Germany.State your stand on things before.....
I'm sorry for this situation but glad you came across one of the best possible places to help you deal with it.
I also don't want to be put in a situation where I have to force him to choose between me and them!
And that's exactly where you are heading to, as you are not the kind of person that will cheat with herself.
Trust your feelings, faith, hopes and dreams and express them as clearly as possible. He doesn't "know" anymore than you do, actually he knows less because he is just parrotting cult speech instead of listening to his own self, to you or to life. You can help him out if he is willing to get out, but that depends where he really stands. You have to find out and help him find out.
Welcome to the board!
I'm very sorry to hear about your situation, first you must reconise by now that your boyfriend has been extremely dishonest with you by not telling you he's a witness. I hate to tell you this, but he feels, and this has happened many a times, that he can get you to come into his faith and convert and you to will live happily ever after. Many witnesses get involved in relationships with people outside their faith, wait until they are very seriously involved and then throw their faith at them when they are at a serious point in their relationship. You have to understand that if he is talking about marriage with you, and he talks about still loving the JW faith he fully intends on being able to convert you later on. He sincerely believes that you'll reconise his religion to be the 'truth' from God and you'll happily convert over to his faith and be a happy little JW like him. If this is not what you want you must make this known to him NOW! Don't put this off as it will only cause YOU more pain down the road if he dumps you because you refuse to convert to his faith.
He would not necessarily automatically be disfellowshipped (excommunicated) for courting a non-believer (though such action is almost certain if it is revealed that he has routinely engaged in sexual 'misconduct'). Irrespective, the relationship would certainly be frowned upon, and he would very likely be 'marked' by some in his congregation, meaning that some other Witnesses would exclude him from social events, though remain cordial with him at Witness meetings; he would likely also lose any 'privileges' at Witness meetings, such as giving talks, controlling the sound system, or passing microphones.
If the relationship were to continue and you got married, and he remained a Witness, over time their would be a slightly relaxed attitude toward you by congregation members, though you would probably not develop a close relationship with any of his Witness friends unless you showed an interest in their beliefs, though you may be invited to congregation social gatherings if it may be seen to 'give a Witness'. Nevertheless, such relationships can work, but it can put a lot of strain on the relationship.
If he was disfellowshipped (or chose to leave), he would be completely shunned by all of his family and friends.
If you both really love each other, then it can work, but it will create some very trying circumstances whether he remains a Witness or not. Talk to him. Find out how he feels about sticking together in the long term and the challenges it will present.
I can't thank you guys enough. As you probably know...its kind of difficult to glean useful info from practicing witnesses. It also brings me solace that most of you are older (and wiser) than me so I'm very much so appreciative of your insight.
I take it I'm in for an uphill battle....So unfortunate...He would be worth the battle...but its very nice to know what I'm getting myself into... straight from the horses mouth so to speak.