by What-A-Coincidence 18 Replies latest jw friends
To the ones who still must go for family sakes ...
What feelings/thoughts go through you at the meetings???
Mine are:
"Damm, I wish my folks would have not been suckered in, I could be doing something purposeful."
"Damm, should have loaded my PDA with apostate material"
yours???
Hi WAC,
My thoughts run the gamut from "this is a pretty good talk" to "get me out of here."
I too wish my parents and relatives wouldn't have committed us to this life. I also think "what would happen if I never came back. Would my family shun me? Would I care if they shun me? Would my daughter go wild? Would I go wild?" And then I tend to fantasize a lot.
I think about almost everything during the meetings, but I only attend a few a month. So it's tolerable.
And I think I can live a purposeful life, even if I'm still a fringe JW.
good entertainment - I like fiction - I watch fiction at the movies, I read fiction, so i like fiction at the meetings. Good entertainment
I always start out listening... until about 10 minutes into the meeting when I've already heard so many falsehoods that my brain no longer wants to take it in. So I end up thinking about what I'm going to do that, month, year, etc... hopefully get some productive meditation time out of it. And while I'm doing my own thinking, in the background I hear "blah blah blah blah blah" droning on and on and on. I figure I'm not the only one deliberately spacing out.
I always start out listening too - then after about 5 mins I think, wow... I wonder how that brother became an elder, what will be the first drink I get when I go out with the girls, wow, that guy is so cute, why is he still in the borg, I wonder if my mom knows I'm not paying attention." Just random thoughts, lol...
Although a lot of the time I am thinking, if the elders are looking at me and reading my mind (knowing that I don't believe anymore).
when I'm actually listen I just wonder how I ever bought that stuff. I used to be totally impressed by their prophecies. I just wonder how my parents sit through that and actually believe it. It takes effort not to laugh sometimes. I day dream alot, I also think about homework, sometimes I work on math problems, physics, rought drafts of English papers, ect.
Its hard for me to not open my mouth in shock at some of the things that are said and give a smirk. Sometimes I even catch myself shaking my head in disgust. But for the most part I write in my journal or text message my friends.
"Good night said the nightman, we are programmed to receive, you can check out any time you like, but you can never leave" These words from the Eagles song Hotel California echo in my head nearly every meeting. Anyone relate? seek2find
While visiting my son over the weekend I attended my first meeting in three months. I caught myself making snide remarks under my breath and at one point during the Watchtower study I started shaking my head "no" .My son just gave me a funny look ,and I smiled back. I did like singing the song and talking sports with a dim bulb afterwards
I wonder what literature I can pick up at the counter and sell on Ebay.
