Any luck kicking the bottle?

Ignoranceisbliss

As I continue my sllllooooooowwwwwww fade one of the things that I want to do is better myself as a person. One of my biggest pitfalls has always been drinking. I don't think I am an alcoholic but at the same time I've never been a very good drinker. If I start to drink I usually will drink enough so that I feel rough the next day. I will usually only drink on Friday and Saturday but then I will feel rough on Saturday and Sunday. I'm tired of not using my weekends to the full. Quitting would also help me to lose weight. I need to drop about 35 lbs. I also have 2 little kids and as they get older I don't want them to view there dad as "a drinker". I have tried to be "moderate in my drinking" for 20 years now and so far it hasn't worked. I know there is a lot of wisdom packed into this site and any practical advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

Iggy

leaving_quietly

This is a tough one. It takes discipline. I've been through this. For me, it required removing alcohol from the home. Seriously. If it's not available, you won't drink as much. If you want a drink, go out and limit to one or two. It costs a whole lot more when having a beer at a restaurant than at home, so there's a money component to this, too. Plus, when you're out, you have to worry about your blood alcohol level, so you, hopefully, will have enough sense to limit yourself so as to not put others in harm's way.

I have been in your shoes and made this choice years ago. It wasn't easy at first, but it gets easier over time. I still want that glass of wine some evenings or beer on a hot day, but I haven't had alcohol in the home for several years now.

digderidoo

I gave up the drink about 7 years ago now, though had a couple of relapses, but continuously sober now coming five years and the best thing I ever did. For years I wouldn't class myself as an alcoholic due to the stigma mainly, I always looked at other drinkers who were worse than me and concinced myself I wasn't alcoholic.

The first step is confronting and admitting the issue, you've done that here which is a big thing. The next step is to ask genuinely whether you are an alcoholic or a problem drinker. The thing I have picked up on in your post is when you say 'I don't think I am an alcoholic ...', by saying 'I don't think' means that you don't know, although at this stage you see yourself as more of a problem drinker.

For either issue alcoholism v problem drinking there are solutions. For the first there is AA or some other program aimed at alcoholics, for the latter there maybe counselling, or educate yourself on the effects of drinking to your body. Either way it is best to approach with an open mind, maybe even try an AA meeting and if it's not for you then try something else such as the medical profession, or counselling.

It took me a long time to figure out why I drank, it also took me a long time to admit I'd crossed the line to becoming an alcoholic ... I was never the park bench type, I never drank in the morning and never drank vodka, never went to prison, never had medical alcohol issues, never lost my licence, therefore it was easy to convince myself that I was just a problem drinker.

I am not saying that you are an alcoholic, I don't know, but picking up on the fact that you are not sure tends to mean that you have thought along those lines at some point yourself. If moderate drinking isn't working it maybe an idea to have an open mind on the issue. Either way, problem drinking or an alcoholic there are solutions, which start with confronting the issue head on.

DesirousOfChange

As I sit here drinking my 3rd beer of the evening. Wait........I also had 4 with dinner while dining at a restaurant, so I'm really on my 7th beer. Anyway...........I find myself drinking much more than I used to drink. But in the past I had talks to give, meetings to attend, etc etc. Now I just relax every evening. I'm gainfully employed, never had a DWI, and only on a rare occasion have "too much" to drink. I do think it contributes to my being overweight.

Am I an alcoholic? Am I a "problem drinker"?

I think a big issue would be if drinking is having a negative impact on your health or your life situation. It sounds like you think that is the case. Perhaps start with seeing a counselor. Alcohol is often the "poor man's Prozac".

Good luck,

Doc

Billy the Ex-Bethelite

I'm not a professional psychologist or counselor... But on the Internet, I like to pretend that I am.

Just connecting the dots of your comments about losing weight, the kids, drinking, and how you feel on the weekend, I'd suggest setting positive objectives to replace the drinking. I'm not much of a drinker, but I drink even less on Friday night when I have plans for Saturday. And Saturday night I'm less likely to drink much if I have brunch plans for Sunday morning.

Back in the old JW days, drinking was a way to numb the pain of weekends wasted slaving for the cult. And a way to numb the pain of slaving all week in bethel for the cult.

digderidoo

I think a big issue would be if drinking is having a negative impact on your health or your life situation.

I'd respectfully disagree ... why wait until that point?

Wouldn't a better definition be that if you have one drink, you feel on edge or frustrated unless you have another? Or maybe if someone were to drink on their emotions, on their feeling and fears, to give oneself confidence to be able to face situations? I used to drink to wind down, without a drink I'd feel frustrated or wound up in some way, sometimes nothing major, just in my own head.

There are many alcoholics or problem drinkers who function quite normally with regards to jobs, family and house situations, I've met lawyers, doctors, teachers, policeman and many others who are alcoholics. From a personal point of view my health never suffered in the long term, I also never had a DWI and at one point in my many years of alcoholism had a successful business, none of which was a barrier to me being an alcoholic.

breakfast of champions

This is something I honestly need to work on myself.

I never had a problem with drinking when I was young.

The first time I realized it was excessive was after I was an elder for several years.

Since then it has varied widely: I've have gone cold turkey for medical reasons at a couple points over the last several years. Other than that, I think I drink too much.

I have used "my situation" as an excuse to drink "immoderately" for years now. But as I get closer to realizing what I actually want in life, I think it's time to cut down --- but it's hard!

The advice given so far would be my first choice: get it out of the house, and find things to replace it with.

This is a great subject just to talk about here. I think that in itself is quite helpful.

rebel8

Whatever your label is, you need to stop this behavior or it will kill you. You're going to continue to develop tolerance to get the same buzz.

7 drinks in 1 day is not normal and it's very bad for your health.

A professional can help you figure out why you're doing this and develop strategies to deal with what underlies it as well as techniques to stop.

JeffT

I had my last drink on August 28, 2005. I've been active in AA since then.

Two things to keep in mind at the outset: there is a difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic. A problem drinker can find ways to quite or manage the problem. Alcoholism is a medical condition, at least partially genetic in origin; we metabolize alcohol differently. This makes it pretty much impossible to quit without help. That help can take different forms, but will always require professional help.

What kind of drinker are you? Nobody but yourself can answer that question. However, if think you might have a problem, you should seriously examine that question. BTW, alcoholics come in many varieties, not all get drunk all the time.

LisaRose

I find meditation to be helpful, I highly recommend it for anyone trying to drink less. Excess alcohol is usually a way to deal with difficult feelings, unfortunately it's a vicious cycle as knowing you don't have control over your drinking can make you feel bad about yourself, thus you need to drink.

I try to pace myself, and try to drink no more than two drinks at any one time. Drink water before to be sure you are hydrated and are not drinking out of thirst. Don't drink on an empty stomach. Try to set goals and reward yourself in other ways. Exercise will help you lose weight and also relieve stress.

Any luck kicking the bottle?

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