It may be hard and humiliating for a man to do any housework but that contacting of other women is way out of line. If he really did act on it that gives you a valid reason to divorce.
I know it's hard to air dirty laundry, but in order to keep your Mom's help and support, you might consider letting her know that unfaithfulness in the marriage on his part was a factor, you know, so she's satisfied it was a "scriptural" divorce.
greendawn - why would it be humiliating for a man to do housework? He lives there as much as I do. Even if he were employed, since we would BOTH be working, it's only fair to expect us to both take on household chores. We talked about that at length before we got married, because I didn't want to marry a man who thought housework was "woman's" work, and he said all the right things about sharing, partnership, etc., but it was all lies.
As for telling my mom about the unfaithfulness, I may have to do that, as well as his mom, but I want it to be a last resort. I think we would remain on better terms and possibly have a chance at being friends again if I didn't air that particular bit of dirty laundry.
Really, I just want us both to recognize that neither one of us is perfect, neither one of us is evil, we simply don't belong together. People have managed to have friendly divorces, I want to be in that group.
Not to be sappy, but you guys just don't know how much I appreciate being able to communicate about this! You are all so nice, non-judgemental, and supportive. You totally rock!
You seem to be kind and understanding person wanting things to end without too much anger.
I think you are headed in the right direction BUT just to be safe, take care of the credit card thing before you talk with him. As another poster before me advised.
Then before you tell him anything get a lawyer and start the procedures.
Then you do not have to run to take care of things as they jump out at you.
Be prepared and the one, a little ahead of the other .
Things I wish I had done when getting a divorce.