How many JWs does it take to change a lightbulb?

by Wild_Thing 12 Replies latest jw friends

  • Wild_Thing

    "They don't need to change their lightbulb because their light just keeps getting brighter and brighter!" As told by JW sister tonight to the rest of my JW family. They thought it was great! I wanted to hurl! I started to tell them that it was not the proper punch line, but I decided to keep my mouth shut! (I'm chicken!)

  • loathjw

    So what is the correct punch line? Oww, let me guess. Zero because they just deny the light went out so they just sit in the darkness instead?

  • Low-Key Lysmith
    Low-Key Lysmith

    3, because it takes two witnesses to confirm that the lightbulb had indeed been changed.


  • Spectre

    Will you get disfellowshipped for reading under the light of an old bulb?

  • Wild_Thing

    I suppose there are many punchlines, but the one I like the most is ...

    None ... they like to stay in the dark.

    Then there's ...

    Twelve. They all live in Brooklyn, and they have to keep changing it every day for "new light."

    Also ...

    Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and twll you about the new light.

    And ...

    None. They're always getting "new light" from Brooklyn.

    Another favorite ...

    I don't know - I didn't let them in to find out.

    Last, but not least ...

    It takes as many as The Watchtower says it takes!

  • Low-Key Lysmith
    Low-Key Lysmith

    Wait, wait, I got a good one....

    They don't screw in lightbulbs, they screw in pitch-dark bedrooms and only use the missionary position.

  • JAVA

    None -- Only the Governing Body can change a lightbulb.

    None -- Changing a lightbulb would be "running ahead of the Organization;" a JW would no longer be a JW if that happened.

    144,000 plus 3 -- The 144,000 still needs to clear it with BIG J and little j, and holy cow, don't forget the Holy Spirit.

  • DanTheMan

    Three - one to look up the most current light bulb changing procedures in the Society's indexes, one to call the CO to make sure that there hasn't been any correspondence from Brooklyn outlining a new procedure that the congregations should now be following, and one to actually change the bulb.

  • free2beme

    They would claim 6 to make their numbers look good, but in reality only one would show up and he would spend most the time setting up for the screw in and only a few seconds completing it. He would share the whole experience at the next convention though.

  • lost_light06

    Depends on the bulb. Is it a lamb like bulb or and independent thinking bulb? If it is a lamb like bulb it may take only 1 person but it will take at least 6 months to a year before the bulb gets screwed………in. First you have to visit the bulb unexpectedly talk to it, overcome any conversation stoppers. Then you drop of the latest issues of the WT & AW mags. every couple weeks. Finally you ask the bulb if it would like to be changed. If it agrees you change it then tell the new bulb if it ever goes out you will never speak to it again and will consider it dead and unworthy to talk to.

    If it is an independent thinking bulb? Don’t go near it, don’t even look at it. It is a snare laid by Satan. If you even approach the bulb it may snare you and you will end up in the darkness as well.

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