Your best friend just called to say their life is falling apart ... so you

by free2beme 10 Replies latest jw friends

  • free2beme

    ... look through your magazines and books and head over with a large supply to place with them. Knowing that what ever the problem is, they only need to read these publications and all will be right in their life again.

    Your son marries a worldly girl and she is having problems in the marriage. You place the family book with her and let her read that and all is right in the world.

    Your child just came home drunk and stoned. The next morning you place the youth book on his chest when he is sleeping and know that if he reads that, he will straighten up and all will be right with the world again.

    What was missing so much in the Witness faith, was the ability to take your life's wisdom and share it with others. To actually say something from the heart and to be there for someone, without being their to preach to that person. The way a Witness would act like everyone behind the Kingdom Hall doors was not having these same problems, because they had read these books and followed the Watchtower. When in reality they existed in abundance. Was an astounding leap of ignorance to put on someone who actually bought this pill of crap from people. The books, the magazines and all those placements made in times of distress, are often the sickest episodes I remember as a Witness. Sometimes people call us to just talk, and for us to listen, like a friend or relative should. Yet we placed publications with them, and that was alright, as they were the word of God.

  • blondie

    One more:

    The elders come by to encourage you about being depressed and give you a 20-page photocopy of a WT articles on depression you have already read. Saves them having to read any scriptures and valuable time (football this afternoon, you know).


  • Honesty

    Don't forget how "Christendom" approaches the social problems of the world with their "Rice Christians" outreach programs.

    How shallow compared to what the WATCHTOWER has to offer:


  • sass_my_frass

    Your first scenario is exactly what happened between my sister and I! I told her I'm having trouble believing anything, even that there's a god at all, and she sent me a Gods Word Or Mans book. That's it: that's everything she ever did for my crisis. When I was disfellowshipped, she said 'I can't believe it, I did everything I could to help you'.

  • outoftheorg

    This post made me recall a shepherding call I was asked to do with another elder.

    This couple in their 40's had three children and seemed to be in love with each other and had a good family.

    They told us that they had an argument and the wife had slapped her husband. They seemed to be unwilling to tell us what the start of all this was. Just that they were angry and unhappy with each other.

    The elder with me started throwing bible quotes at them about a womans place and how jah hates family arguments and on and on.

    I could not think of a useful scripture to use. Probably because I did not trust or like what the bible had to say about this sort of situation and the treatment of women.

    So I began to take them back to the time when they married and how they felt and about the births of their children and their previous and current life and the happy times and how to not let arguments ruin an other wise happy family. I dwelt quite a bit about the children and the love and happiness that just waits for them if they solve this angry time and get on with their lives.

    I began to see a change of attitude in them both but more so with the wife. I totally left the bible and the religion and its rules out of my discussion.

    I was chastised by the elders for not being bible oriented. However it seemed to have solved their problem.

    A few months later the husband told me that the argument they had was that she had seen another elder insult and belittle her husband and she was angry at both of them, especially at her husband because he did nothing to defend himself. During this argument she had slapped her husband.

    I can vouch for her that this elder is one of the most overbearing fools I have encountered during my trials with the jw's

    The husband thanked me and I noticed that his wife was more and more nice to me and seemed to be grateful. Then one day she told me that I had saved their marriage. That is how upset she was with this other elder and the one who had come with me. As the full blame was put upon her as she saw it and I blamed no one.

    Recently about 2 years ago my daughter that still goes to that K dum Hall tells me that this sister told her how much she missed me, as I was one of the good elders.

    Yet she, now a widow with one df'd son is still a jw in good standing . She was and is a beautiful and intelligent person.

    Why throw the bible and jw rules, when some common sense discussion can be more helpful??


  • bikerchic

    Sorta like after you leave your husband and he mails you a recent Botchtower rag with an article on marriage and has all the pertinent parts underlined and a lengthy note on how you should change your ways. A day late and a dollar short......

  • Purza
    and she sent me a Gods Word Or Mans book

    I think they throw the literature at people because they are not qualified to handle these situations. They think having a book and saying a prayer will help. Obviously it doesn't. They just can't think for themselves.


  • Thegoodgirl

    So so true. I must admit, I was guilty of this kind of behavior when I was in. It also makes us not confident in our own opinions and what we personally have to offer.

  • free2beme

    I remember a time in our congregation, where this couple lost their grandchild, when he was killed at a daycare. When we went to the house, there was a pile of those "death" brochures and the grandparents were, while in mourning, trying to get their none Witness relatives to read this with them.

  • anewme

    Sad thing is that this inability to speak from the heart can interfere inside of marriages among the witnesses.

    People want to communicate with hearts, not with ink.

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