The first bloodless surgery was performed this week in which a kid who is a Jehovah's Witness got a new liver without a blood transfusion. The parents were so happy, they almost celebrated!
While traveling near Tampa, Florida I passed the "Jehovah's Witness Assembly Hall" and was struck by the fact that that must be where they make them.
What do you get when you cross Jehovah's Witness with a Mafia hitman ? Lots of converts.
Why do mobsters hate Jehovah's Witnesses? They hate all witnesses!
I learned something the other day. I learned the Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate Halloween. I guess they don't like strangers going up to their door and annoying them.
A man went to a pet shop and purchased a parrot. Apparently, the parrot had belonged to a Jehovah's Witness because it kept repeating, "Read the Watchtower and Awake. Avoid wordly associations. The end of this system of things is near." Squawk. Well, the new owner of the bird attempted to add new vocabulary to the parrot's repertoire with books on tape and contemporary music, but as the months went by it became obvious that nothing could break through. The parrot continued to repeat the standard catchphrases of the Watchtower Society and nothing else. The owner finally became frustrated and infuriated and, in a fit of violent anger, threw the parrot across the room. The parrot smashed against the wall, and slid down to the floor, at which point the parrot immediately started squawking: "No Blood! No Blood! No Blood!"
A young boy was walking along the road pulling puppies in a wagon. He was walking by a kingdom hall, where a district overseer stood outside on the grass. Curious, the district overseer asks "What kind of puppies are those?" In reply the boy said: " They're Jehovah's Witness puppies." The district overseer chuckled and the boy was on his way. The same boy walked by the kingdom hall once more and the district overseer this time was standing with some elders. The district overseer said "Watch this" and asked again "What kind of puppies are those?" This time the boy said "Love Puppies." The district overseer, shocked, said, "I thought you said they were Jehovah's Witness puppies." The boy said "Yeah, but today their eyes opened!"