My problem with all of this is that the WT Society says these things are and they deny them to the rank and file.
This is a problem for me as well. I have conflicting thoughts on the topic:
If you are a parent then you know that at one point in time you may say it's ok for your child to do something and at another point say it's not, ad infinitum. In the 60's WT said it wasn't a good idea to go to college. In the 60's there were quite a lot of "new" problems on campus and, if you view the matter from WT perspective, it made sense to direct JW's away from the problems until they either disappeared, calmed down, or reliable safeguards were put in place. After Viet Nam, LSD, free love, etc., life on campus became somewhat more manageable and the restrictions began to be lifted; not entirely, even in the '70's there were statements in the WT regarding good use of the remaining time in this system! Progress appears slow but by the early 90's WT statements allowed higher education under certain conditions, i.e., living at home, taking only practical courses, maintaining spirituality, etc. Consider, during those years colleges and universities were changing as well; branch campuses were opened, course offerings were redefined, the student population "aged" as more people returned for part-time, night and weekend classes. Looking at it from a parental perspective it all makes sense; gauge the situation and act accordingly, safeguard your people.
Story: In the early 90's I took my 5 children (all baptized) on a trip to "Bethel". We made a couple of stops along the way, one to Gallaudet University because my oldest daughter signed; she was taught by a sister who came to serve where the need was great in a rural area, we happened to be living there, and we took advantage of the opportunity to acquire a new skill for use in Kingdom Service. At the time a brother named Bill Adams (his story has been in the publications at least twice) was working there and he personally toured us around. At the end of the tour we sat and chatted with him and my daughter asked about additional training. He recommended college. We were floored. All of us knew the WT viewpoint so we (not just me, the kids too!) asked him how he could make a statement like that especially when in a very recent WT the opposite view was expressed! His response was, "well, they're changing on that." Huh??????? We were very, very, troubled! We wanted to do "right" AND to have "privileges"! How to do both??? So often it seemed that the ones with privileges were the ones who disregarded counsel!
I don't have a completely satisfactory answer. What I've settled on for now is this: I don't have enough information to authoritatively comment on the situation! All I can do is my personal best; after that it's a matter of attitude. I don't have any "proof" that this or that person's "success" came about as a result of breaking rules or denial of opportunity to others. I'm in waiting mode and I'm content to let time tell the story; it seems the fairest way.