Hi Dan, Count yourself among the lucky ones if you get to 'fade'. Most of my family has tried to fade (so we could still talk to the rest of our witness friends and family)But, that has not happened.(and are now 'disfellowshiped:) The local elders make it very hard for you just to become inactive or in my Dads case just pretend to be depressed. They have badgered us to the extent that we have been tempted to call the cops due to the excessive amount of phone calls and knocks at the door. I also heard that if a person is inactive for an X amount of time the elders can stop at their door and ask them if they wish to still be known as a J.W. I hope which ever one you chose to do works and I really hope your wife see's the real truth and that you can be a support system to each other...because, it is hard when there is still a family member in the org.