A Memo for my JW dad

by Lilycurly 27 Replies latest jw friends

  • Lilycurly

    I have been DAed for months but only recently, after having asked every and each person he could ask (even writting a letter to the WT), my dad decided he couldn't talk to me anymore. It has hit my non-JW mother very hard that her husband could do that. She cries a lot, but we are trying to be strong and hold ourselves together, and try in anyway we can to make him open his eyes....

    Tomorrow, I have decided to leave the Crisis of Conscience book on his desk with a with page on it, written on big black letters that will say...

    "I was wondering if every man would be capable of shunning his own children and break up his family because of a group of men.

    Then I realised that no, some men have chosen to open their eyes and *truly* follow Jesus, example.....

    With Love, your daughter"

    Now, I'm not a big Jesus beleiver myself, but I know that he obviously is. Have no idea if this could make him think, but it hurts me so much to hear my mother cry and to know how badly she feels...I'm willing to try anything.

  • loosie

    It can't hurt.

    I'm sorry to hear about the decision your dad made.

    You'd think grown ups could make decisions for themselves and not be told by someone else who to talk to.

  • zeroday

    JW's can be disfellowshipped for reading that book. I believe it would be a waste of time. He wouldn't even look at it.

  • Lilycurly

    Well....nobody would know it if he decided to take a peek...

    I also find it very sad that he had to ask so many people before he took his descision, but then he is absolutely sure that he made it all by himself but merely wanted to know if what he understood was what the WT did. (Because we all know that the sacred WTS is always right,)

  • yesidid

    Sorry but I really would give that one a little more thought.

    Reading that book would be more of a sin than talking to you.

    Perhaps starting with small things may work better than hitting him between the eyes with the worst thing a JW can possibly do.

    I believe it could cause more resentment.

    my 2cent

  • Lilycurly

    Alright...what would you suggess then? I have wrote him a letter before I DAed, and he didn't even take it seriously. I poured my heart out and he dismissed it as if it was nothing at all. We loved each other before, we are so alike. I'm his first born and we shared so many things...sometimes I wonder if he liked me only because I was still in the JWs...

    The truth is, I'm a grown girl now, and what we had between us is mostly gone. Honestly, I don't really care if he shuns me. But I am so close with my mother. And I can't see her like that.

  • stealyourface

    Is your mom fully aware of the insane way the tower opperates, and holds those who believe in it's grip? Would CoC or this board be beneficial to her?

  • Lilycurly

    Well, my mother is an ex-Jw, so she knows a lot about the way they think, and I always talk to her about what I read on the net...

    The CoC copy I have is in english though, and she reads French mostly...

  • Scully


    It's too bad your dad doesn't see his shunning behaviour toward you as a potential Stumbling Block™ - something that will ensure that your mother NEVER joins the JWs.

    Sometimes it's things like that which can force the JW to ignore the instructions of the WTS. One thing the WTS does not like is when behaviour of JWs Gives A Bad Witness™ to others.

  • Lilycurly

    Hmm...but my mother was a JW for years, and I think he has resigned to the idea that whatever he does, she will not come back, and neither will I. The thing that is most frustrating though, is that she is as much of an "apostate" as I am, and she keeps asking him questions and talking to him of things she and I discuss together. He puts up with it, and even tries to make their relationship stronger, being loving and romantic and all. But to me, his daughter, he will not talk to anymore, even if it's not about religion....

Share this