First.....a BIG thank you to all who answered my very first thread yesterdayabout the "no windows" thing. I realize I am NOT alone in my quest to help my young DF'd friend. Even though I have read practically everything on freeminds.org and silentlambs.org and a few others I am going to need some help. Here's a little background followed by a question or two.
I'm going to call my new friend Dee. She's 19. Grew up a JW with the whole family involved. She's at least a 3rd generation JW.... DF'd, though, at this time. I met her through a friend of mine a while back. She lives with this friend and her 2 daughters. My friend is not a JW so we have Dee living with a "regular" family so to speak. Dee chooses to live with my friend (big house) not out of economic reasons, but because, as she told my friend, she didn't want to really live on her own because she didn't want to go home to an empty house. Even though Dee is young she's very intelligent. She manages a store in the local mall here. I have gotten all of this info from my friend. Dee and I have not spoken about her JW experience, but that is about to change. I see her frequently and in fact, this morning I am taking her to work in her truck (yea... even chicks drive trucks here in Texas...LOL) So I can do some work on it for her.
Let me back up a bit and share a story. When my friend first told me Dee was a JW I went online and began to refresh my memory as to what the JW's were all about. The first thing that came to my mind was "mind control" after reading a while. Then I read about the pedophile issues and the 2 witness rule thing. I was sickened and pissed off. I then read, more or less, that all non-JW are just a bunch of pagan fools who know nothing about truth and light. Well, I knew that was wrong. So, I began a personal mission. I wanted Dee to see that a non-JW can have a heart directed by God..... loving, kind and giving apart from the mind controlling KH lifestyle. Here's the story... a little something I did.
A month or so ago I was at my friends house setting up a stereo system she received for Christmas. Side note.... Dee spent Christmas with my friend and her family. Dee was like a kid in a candy store. Everyone exchanged gifts including Dee. She commented to my friend she had NEVER received a Christmas gift in her life. She was so excited about the gift exchange idea she actually went out and bought gifts for everyone. Back to my story. When I was at my friend's house Dee asked me if I wanted anything to drink or even something to eat. I thought, hey... I thought I was a "pagan" in your eyes. I was taken back by her generosity, nevertheless I declined. What I did next "shocked" her to some degree. I am old enough to be her father. I know she knows I am not some old dude trying to "pick her up" so to speak so I did the following simple thing. Her windshield wipers on her truck were shot to say the least. I went out and picked her up some new ones. I went over to my friend"s house and we all sat around the kitchen bar. I told Dee and my friend about having practically the worst day in my life several years back. How I went into a place to eat in Houston and paid the tab for a young couple eating dinner... without them knowing. You should have seen the look on that young couple's face. I shared that story with Dee and my friend to shed some light on my personality... my heart.... and that there are basically 2 kinds of people in the world... "givers and takers". Dee figured out I was a "giver" as I slid the new wiper blades her direction. You should have seen the look on her face! I was opening the door... allowing her to see how folks live outside the "organization".
I believe the girl is starved for love. Of course, being DF'd her parents who live 1 1/2 hours away have shunned her along with her JW grandmother who lives here. Her parents do speak to her from time to time on the phone.... but basically you could consider them dead as far as any kind of relationship goes. She continues to attend the KH and has shared with my friend that "they don't speak to her" when she's there. Dee went so far to say that if she was ever reinstated she wasn't sure that there are any folks there that she would want to speak to any way. Dee told my friend she believe "all of this" is for a reason. I do too. That being... opening Dee's eyes to what the JW's are really about.
Enough background. Here is my question.........
How do you think she views "outsiders" such as myself being a non-JW? She appears open. Am I just kidding myself?
Joe..... P.S. I plan on working on her truck all day. She thinks I'm going to charge her. I don't plan on charging her a dime. I will suggest she buy me lunch. I plan on bring up the "where are you in life" thing at that time.