Thinking of coming out of the apostate closet

by Brigid 26 Replies latest jw friends

  • Finally-Free

    I was still a JW when I first had my picture posted on an ex-jw site. My face was pixilated, but I was still recognizable to people who knew me. Within a week I started getting calls from elders who wanted to meet with me, and they started coming to my home and pounding on my door. There was even a car chase - which ended when they discovered it was my (now ex) wife driving my truck.

    Coming out of the apostate closet wasn't easy, but once it was done I could truly begin getting on with my life. I no longer had to look over my shoulder to see if some JW was watching me as I engaged in my "worldly" pursuits.


  • serendipity


    What do you have to gain by posting your pic here? What do you have to lose? Which is more valuable to you?

  • startingover

    I'm in the same boat with you. Not a decision that's easy to make that's for sure. For now I've come to the conclusion that it's better in my situation to let things lie. It is however very hard to move on in your life in that scenario.

  • cyd0099

    This is the only place where i talk at all about the bOrg. It really isn't a part of the new life I am shaping for myself.

    But still, the decision to unmask can be a big hurdle. The internet isn't a hidden world inhabited by just a few. I still wonder if there isn't some lurker reading the board who will recognise me and go tattling to the elders-although ratting me out would create some problems for the dub...

    I lurked on here for a good long time even though I was a faded Dub. There is the lingering guilt and the fear of commiting to the "apostate" mindset that kept me from immediately joining and even still longer before I commented regularly and even then I posted a partial photo of myself, only posting my current pic when i felt comfortable.

    Growth is a process, so take your time or take the plunge, or stay unrevealed. Whatever is right for you. I'm sure we will support you in your decision.

  • Brigid

    You know, it does boil down to fear. And I have made a commitment to release all fear (except for that bogeyman in the closet and being naked in a crowd )

    I've just lived my life so fearlessly since I left the organization except for this one little thing. It would be a final cut to the ties that bind.


  • Kristofer

    wow...i'm impressed with you guys and gals!. I've never been a JW but i'm overwhelmed by your personal strength to walk away from something that has so much hold over your family and friends. I wonder if I would have that strength...

    Anyway, just want to say I'm humbled and admire you all for your strength

  • insearchoftruth


    Best of luck with your decision. You seem like a wonderful person and add a lot to this forum and what ever you decide to do I wish you the best.

    Though not in the same situation as you, I will have a crossroads in the future if my wife decides to become an active jw rather than just a very passive fringe jw, because I have problems with the theology, but have major issues with the dishonesty of the organization.

    I wish I could offer better advice, but you shall be in my prayers and I know whatever you decide to do, the choice shall be correct!


  • Brigid


    I like what you add to this forum; seeing ourselves through the eyes of a non-never-was-a-JW. I hate that this fear is even a part of my psyche. Want to purge but not sure.


  • Brigid

    You seem like a wonderful person and add a lot to this forum

    Wow, thanks!

    Ego is boosted!


  • Jez

    Don't label yourself ("apostate") and maybe others won't either. The JW definition of "apostate" is something they themselves have invented.


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