Not sure where to go from here

by sickofhurting 26 Replies latest jw experiences

  • sickofhurting


    Looks like a good place to start, maybe you guys can help me figure out what to do with my extremly messed up family. My family are either JWs or were at some point. Im sure you can see why this leads to a completly disfunctional family. I was raised in this religion and decided as an adult I couldnt love a god who played who has the bigest d%ck with our lives so I stepped away from the religion. My mother is athiest at this point. I am not by any means. I have 3 children that I feel are old enough to explore religion. They go to several churches. My dad, who is still JW takes them with him at times, but doesent push them at all. My mom tells them her thoughts with no remourse. My family fights all the time. They have that "christian love". I am at a breaking point. My mom says what she wants no matter what I say. My dad is pretty much the same way and I am torn all the time. How would you deal with these "great" people. My only goal is to protect my kids from the hell I lived with growing up JW. Thanks for you time.

  • lisaBObeesa

    Hello and welcome to the board!

    So your mom is telling the kids there is no God, and your dad is telling the kids they have to be JWs? Is that the problem? Or is there more to it? How old are your children?

    I am sure you will find some good listening ears here..

  • stillajwexelder

    welcome to the board sickofhurting - I will leave your question to somebody a lot more sensitive than I am

  • DigitalFokus

    Welcome to JWD,

    The only advice I can give is to keep your kids away from the JWs. And as stilla said, I will leave the rest to someone else. I am sure they can explain it better.

    again welcome


  • sickofhurting

    I have 12 year old twins and a son who is almost 14. My mom is very overbearing. I feel guilty letting my kids be around my family some of the time because dad is stuck on the fact the world is ending (they are releasing new information at an upcoming convention I was told) My mom is negitive. I was forced to go to meetings as a kid. I hated them. I hated religion, elders, and the whole bunch. At the ripe old age of 32 I have came to the realization that religion is nothing more than what people need at that point and time in their life. Everyone needs different things, thats why I think there are so many religions.

    I dont mean to rattle on, these are thoughts I have had for years, and I dont talk to my dad about it anymore because we all know what happens if you doubt god, and I let my dad live with the hope I will come around. It makes his little world easier, and I dont talk to my mom because well, to be honest, she doesent listen to anyone because she is too busy thinking she is right about everything.

  • stillajwexelder

    At the ripe old age of 32 I have came to the realization that religion is nothing more than what people need at that point and time in their life. Everyone needs different things, thats why I think there are so many religions.

    That is an excellent point

  • bebu

    It sounds like you live with your parents... If that is the case, you might be able to untangle a lot of troubles here if you could find a way to move out.

    If you don't live with your parents, I really think you should give yourself and your kids some more breathing space, because it sounds awfully stifling, what with everyone fighting in close quarters. That doesn't need to happen!

    ...I am wondering, what are you getting out of the arrangement as it is? Is it worth it?


  • freedomlover

    Welcome to the board!

    I think you have a situation that a lot of us can relate to. i have children also and I've had to lay down the law with opressive JW family members and tell them that they will not see my children if they are going to indoctrinate them or speak badly of my hubby and I. You have to set up some boundaries or your parents will set them up for you.

    Hope you can get some good advice here and hope you enjoy your stay here. - freedomlover

  • sickofhurting

    My dad lives about 2 miles from me. My mom lives about 3 hours from me. All of my dads family is here in this small town. I have to sit back and laugh sometimes at the level of disfunction my family covers to "save the family name" within the hall. I think the only thing from the religion I did keep was a strong respect for my elders. I think thats why I am in turmoil now. My dad was an elder for years, and "stepped down" due to health issues. He is now more human than he has been in years. My mom is just mom, her opinion has always been out there, but she always thinks she is right.

    So to answer your question, NO WAY do I live with my parents, I think I would have to hope I could use prison computers if I had to live with them at all.

    Thanks for all of the warm welcomes. Everyone seems so assured of their beliefs here. I hope to get to that point some time in my life, along with growing a spine when it comes to my family.

  • serendipity

    Hi sick of hurting, welcome to the forum!

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