What hoops would a DA'd person have to jump through to get reinstated?

by unbeliever 22 Replies latest jw friends

  • juni

    Hi unbeliever,

    I tried several years back. First mtg. cried and told my story. (Different cong. in a different city). People were friendly as they didn't know my standing. Next mtg. what a change!! No one talked to me and heads turned my way w/that certain "stare". Obviously word got out from the elder's lips probably through his wife.

    He was supposed to contact my previous cong. Know what? Didn't hear from him for a year. I asked him what happened. Didn't give me a clear answer - just himmed and hawed around. Apologized for not getting back to me and said he was sorry. I told him he should be sorry as he didn't do his job and now I'm going my way and don't call me anymore.

    There are many hoops. I decided I was not going to put myself through it. Not emotionally healthy and they don't give a crap anyway. So unlike the Prodigal son illustration.


  • IronClaw
    I was taught that Apostasy was the big unforgivable sin, the sin against the spirit. That might have changed since I last went to a meeting but if it still stands your friend might be sitting at the back for a LONG time yet.

    Guess the damn WT needs to look at the account of King Manasseh? They need to dust of those bibles that they never use and do some real bible study. How about the prodigal son, the prostitute that Jesus forgave. I am glad I left. Never to return to the mire.


    Officially it is the same as if you were Df'ed. Unofficially, if you are still in the cong. that you D'aed in you will be looked at very suspiciously especially if you D'aed and became an "apostate". The elders may also hold a grudge against you because you robbed them of their chance to meet with you and interrogate you. This of course depends on how much of "Company Men" those particular elders are. In short it will be more difficult than if you were just Df'ed, unofficially of course.

  • Collegegurl

    someone in my cong was just reinstated after Disassociating themselves. They went to meetings for 6 months. I don't think they were treated any differently than someone who was Dfed. However, this person wasn't an apostate as far as I know, they had an affair and didn't want to be df'ed. If a person was an apostate it might be different and harder to get in, but it would depend on the elders.

  • IP_SEC

    It depends on the reason for DA. You could DA yourself instead of meeting with them about your sex life. If you DA for apostacy, the elders are instructed (I'll look up the quote later) to exercise extreme caution before reinstatment. They want to make damn sure you arent going to bring a critical influence back into the congo. There would no doubt be a sort of pledge of alliegence to the org.

    The elders are also told there is no need to even call on you in their yearly visits with the DF'd especially if you've manifested a critical spirit in the past.

    Pay Attention pg 128 there should be no hasty action in reinstating disfellowshipped individuals

    This would apply moreso to DA or DF on grounds of apostacy.

  • atypical

    I have honestly never heard of a DA'd one being reinstated. I would think they would be up against a brick wall if they tried at the same congregation they left. Even if they made it, I would think they would face borderline harrassment by ones trying to catch them saying something against the org.

    It depends on the reason for DA.

    This and really on that particular body of elders. I know of one congregation where someone was not DF'ed but just publicly reproved and it took the person like almost 2 yrs to be able to even comment again at the mtgs. Why you ask?? Because the most influential elder in that conggregation thought that he should have been DF'ed not just reproved so he kept making up reasons not to give privleges back. It REALLY depends on the particular elders involved... it really does.

  • jws

    So this person DA'ed 2 years ago? And has been coming to the meetings ever since? Or only started attending again recently?

    DA'ing for apostacy has got to be a longer penalty. As far as DF'ing goes, it does vary. The elders at my second hall (where I spent most of my JW years) were real stern types. Expect at least 2 years to be re-instated. And in that time, you'd better not mess up. Come to every meeting, no matter what the weather. And hope an elder doesn't have anything personal against you. In my early 20's I dated a girl from another state. In her congregation, she said DF'ed people were usually re-instated in about 6 months.

    But DA for apostacy? Why go back?

    My thought would be if she really did investigate the JWs, she couldn't go back. She could pretend, and try. Maybe she misses people. Maybe she felt a part of something. But the longer she sits there, hearing things she knows are wrong, I think it's less and less likely she'll go through with it. In the meantime, she can find what she liked about the JWs elsewhere. It doesn't have to come from a church either. If she goes back, knowing what she knows, she's not being true to herself and wont be happy (unless her plan is to stir things up )

    I'd suspect the elders would be very cautious. Religion is all about your beliefs. Cults have to have make sure your beliefs are acceptable in every way. Her mind was at one time "tainted", which makes her very dangerous. In ways that are very subtle, she could taint others - even without knowing it. There are all sorts of dangers with her. Maybe she's out with a small group in service. One of the others might be curious. What was it that made you think this was all wrong? Then it spreads. Maybe it's certain things she wont do. I've seen JWs who don't push 1914 because they have serious doubts about it.

    The best outcome is for a long, drawn-out process that makes her get tired of it or fed up with what she's hearing and she quits.

  • minimus

    Satisfy 3 elders.

    Satisfy 3 elders

    Or the PO, or the most prominent elder or in some cases the CO....I've seen all scenarios. What you describe minimus is in an ideal situation only. According to their own stated policy it should really only be the original 3 deciding or appointed substitutes if needed but it is not always done that way is it?

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