Silence is golden ------your silence is her answer! And no matter what, she would take it as a, 'oh yeah, wide as a barn door dear!" and that would set the tone for your evening out! haha, damned if you do and damned if you don't in this case.
Silence is Golden
Nawww, the eyes would say "sexy as hell!"
Isn't there a song about 'lying eyes'? just kidding you, sounds like you have that all figured out. Now go and preach to the dopey men out there. Or the dopey women who ask but don't want a 'real' answer!
I was married for over twelve years. How do you think I survived the first two???
The other reason I like Ian's advice is that I really don't think the elders care about you or me as a human being at all. The more you talk to them, the more bullets they have to shoot you with.
Let me give you an example. After 20 years of dyed in the wool dubdom including three of regular pioneering while cleaning toilets at the Miller Bottling Company for Elder Jim Smith's "Proclean" business, I had my first 'spiritual crisis' at age 20, and went to the elders--it was like being cross examined in a court of law. Everything I said was turned back on me.
When the decision was finally made to disfellowship me, the 'loving elders' (one of whose family *I* had loaned money) told me that really, they were disfellowshipping me because I should have known better. I had been raised 'in the truth' blah blah blah. Bill Brigden told me he didn't feel I was repentant because I hadn't cried in the elders meetings. Yep.
It was if the decision had been made prior to the judicial meetings. Nothing I said mattered anyway.
I now live my life like the Armed Forces do their business. Everything about me is on a need to know basis. If I don't think you need to know, I'll tell you to bugger off.
My computer has been out of service for over three days so I missed this post initially. Thank you for bringing it to my attention!
You don't owe me an apology at all. We've met up a number of times, you've stayed at my house, we're good friends and I know you are not a liar. I'm glad that you feel my advice was good. I always felt that if I lied and my children, especially, knew I'd lied they could never look at me without wondering if anything I said was a lie. By being honest in all things, no matter how painful, at least my children know that I would NEVER lie. This is extremely important because two of them are still JWs. Now, they have to decide which of us is lying, Watchtower or me! At the moment Watchtower keeps winning, I guess because of the influence of other members and the fact that they still believe it is God's channel. Eventually, however, I believe my stance will be prove to be the right one. I can never be accused of lying and there is no proof what-so-ever that I ever have. To have a clean conscience is, indeed, the best thing one can have.
Thank you for making this post. It's a very good post and the comments reflect this. As you highlight, two wrongs don't make a right. Our integrity to being honest - even if we have to remain silent - is what undermines Watchtower. Never would I have thought that an organisation that states it is the mouthpiece of God could tell such heinous untruths. I couldn't believe I had been so naive!