Silence is Golden

by LittleToe 25 Replies latest jw friends

  • LittleToe

    In part this thread is an apology to Dansk.

    By way of an explanation; about a year ago I posted to someone that they should show little compuncture about lying to a Body of Elders, since the WTS would only apply Theocratic Warfare to them, and do the same. Dansk (rightly in my opinion) reprimanded me about it, though I uncomfortably defended my position at the time.

    Well, I was raised better than that. "Two wrongs don't make a right", and lying was never on the agenda in our household. Fortunately I've mostly managed to live those ethics, and my consciencious sense of honour means that even if I wish I can't keep facades up for long. I never could lie successfully, and I still can't. It was one reason why I DA'ed in the manner that I did, so that I could express my feelings to the congregation including my love for them, before disappearing off into the night.

    Deceit only harms the deceiver, and adds to the list of things that you have to remember, whereas holding a short account is much healthier

    So, Ian, I apologise. You were right, and I was wrong.

    I do believe that we are masters over our own destiny regarding what we refrain from saying, though. I want to take the opportunity to briefly bring to light a WTS teaching that is used by WTS Judicial Committees, while considering this.

    I think it's completely permissible to acknowledge a "rule of silence", when faced with antagonists. There are ample examples of Jesus doing so, in the NT. I think that people are well within their rights to remain silent, if they so wish, and silence should not be declared an admission of guilt, no matter how much a Body of Elders might think and argue to the contrary.

    Let's face it, JCs are often about exercising authority and control, rather than genuinely caring about an individual. Some individuals are so up themselves that their pride rears it's ugly little ehad, when they are challenged by such behaviour. I suspect this is why they demand that an individual "show a repentant attitude" by spilling all their guts and sordid little details on the floor.

    The WTS makes much of the example of Jesus in Matt.26:62 - 65:

    "And the high priest arose, and said unto him, Answerest thou nothing? what is it which these witness against thee? But Jesus held his peace. And the high priest answered and said unto him, I adjure thee by the living God, that thou tell us whether thou be the Christ, the Son of God. Jesus saith unto him, Thou hast said: nevertheless I say unto you, Hereafter shall ye see the Son of man sitting on the right hand of power, and coming in the clouds of heaven. Then the high priest rent his clothes, saying, He hath spoken blasphemy; what further need have we of witnesses? behold, now ye have heard his blasphemy." KJV

    Here, they tell us, that Jesus capitulates because he has to answer this particular objection, because to refrain would have been a denial that he was what he was.

    I say poppycock!

    My Son of God trumps your High Priest, just as in the hall, my regular humanbeing trumps your WTS Elder. He didn't have to say anything, but rather chose to. He never lied, but he often kept silent. Ultimately I believe that you only grant people as much power over your life as you allow them!

    I intend to bear that in mind next time I'm tempted to lie because I'm faced with someone who is making unreasonable demands on what I know.

    It took me a while, but the lesson eventually sunk in enough to articulate it. Thanks Ian

  • stillajwexelder

    Wonderful post Ross - I wish I had the balls not to lie -but of course I am living the lie by posting on this board and then being a good little JW at the hall

  • LittleToe

    S:I want to hasten to add, that is meant in no way a condemnation of those who are doing the long fade. IMHO that's survival!!!

    I genuinely think that folks who take that route perhaps show more bottle than the route I used.

  • stillajwexelder

    But I agree on the whole Ross - lying is not good

  • greendawn

    Moral excellence is always superior and wins out, as they say : honesty is the best policy.

  • LittleToe

    Devil's advocate time - ya just know I had to:

    Greendawn:By what standard are you declaring that it wins out?

    Very often it causes personal harm!

  • bikerchic
    I intend to bear that in mind next time I'm tempted to lie because I'm faced with someone who is making unreasonable demands on what I know.

    So then tell me Ross if your sweetheart ask you an honest question like: "honey do I look fat in these pants" then she turns to show you her ass.........

    Is honesty always the best policy?

  • LittleToe

    Silence is golden

  • IronClaw

    I remember a while back when I had a phone conversation with an elder. I told him of the Mexican scam and how it was outright lying. His reply was that as long as it was not a malicious lie it was alright. I hung up the phone on him. Haven't seen or heard from him since.

  • hemp lover
    hemp lover

    Excellent post, beautifully written. Wish I had chosen the silent route in a couple of my JCs. The outcomes would probably have been the same, but I might not have such cringe-worthy memories today.

    -HL (terrible liar, but knows better than to ask the "honey, does my..." questions)

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