Cathartic Finish to Painful Memories of Mark

by jst2laws 43 Replies latest jw experiences

• 

  deeskis

  I hope mark was too drunk to know what was going on.

  Hindsight can be tormenting, but think of those people who do not have the insight to look back and see their faults. We can't change the past, but hopefully we can learn from it.

  Sometimes in a situation where the person that you wish to speak with is no longer here it can help to write them a letter. a letter apologising, explaining. In a way it's a letter to ourselves too, as it helps release our feelings, that's like what you've done now. shared your pain with others, hope it's lightening.

  so sad, thanks for sharing
• 

  AK - Jeff

  steve -

  Thank you for sharing that. I am about beside myself, and the words won't come easily. I am really choked.

  A little arithmetic tells me this was about 20 years ago. I lost a brother just 3 years back, though not suicide. In a way, though, the Wt doctrine might have aided in his death. He was a meticulous rule follower, and although he would never say it, I think he found older articles in the Wt that banned or discouraged organ transplants, and suggested that no blood-products ever be used. He refused medical treatments that would have today been allowable under witness rules today. The only reason I can think of for his decisions [which he kept very close to his chest] was due to misunderstanding what the rules really were. So, in a way, he may have committed a form of suicide too.

  My God, I cannot hardly write this. I have never admitted my intense fear of this as the reason for his death publicly. I have not ever uttered it to a soul till this moment. Your account just brought it to the surface.

  May God bless you. Again thanx for sharing, and my apologies for having burdened the thread with my own story.

  Jeff
• 

  jst2laws

  Andi,

  I don't know why you need this but I'm glad it helps. I like your new pic too.

  deeskis,

  it helps release our feelings

  That is what has been happening. I started this early this morning after waking up thinking about it. I guess it was time to deal with it.

  Jeff,

  My God, I cannot hardly write this. I have never admitted my intense fear of this as the reason for his death publicly. I have not ever uttered it to a soul till this moment. Your account just brought it to the surface.

  May God bless you. Again thanx for sharing, and my apologies for having burdened the thread with my own story.

  It is painful isn't it. But I'm sure it is good for us. I feel drained right now, and still head achie. Hope you are OK.

  Steve
• 

  willyloman

  I have a daughter, raised as a dub, who was severely troubled about her life and prospects and was on Paxil to mellow out her mood swings and conguer severe depression.

  When her mother and I invited her over and told her we were no longer going to be dubs and that she could come and live with us until she got on her feet financially -- without any pressure to go to meetings -- she was astounded.

  Three days later she stopped taking her drugs. In the past, when she went without Paxil for just a few days, the downward swing in her mood and attitude was pronounced. However, her spirits were soaring and she just didn't need it anymore. That's been more than two years. She's never taken another Paxil. She's had the usual disappointments and ups and downs that life brings with it, but she's a whole new person, bubbly, outgoing, happy.

  There is only one explanation.
• 

  AK - Jeff

  Yes, perhaps we need it.

  Ironic. You and Joy were two of the first xjws we became aware of as we left. I had just lost my brother a few months before we began to email one another. I never knew you had lost a brother too. I feel such kinship with your pain.

  Once again thanx for sharing. And thanx for the kind words.

  Jeff
• 

  Billygoat

  Andi,

  I don't know why you need this but I'm glad it helps. I like your new pic too.

  Steve, this just confirms to me that God provides exactly what we need, when we need it, whether we recognize it or not. I just happen to see it this time. (I'm so blind so many other times, at least until months/years later!) And on another note, God USES us exactly when we need to be used, whether we realize it or not.

  Glad you like the new pic. Took it myself.
• 

  Narkissos

  (((((((((Steve)))))))))

  Mark

  What's done is done.

  We do not live to ourselves, and we do not die to ourselves.
• 

  jst2laws

  Williloman,

  Three days later she stopped taking her drugs. In the past, when she went without Paxil for just a few days, the downward swing in her mood and attitude was pronounced. However, her spirits were soaring and she just didn't need it anymore. That's been more than two years. She's never taken another Paxil. She's had the usual disappointments and ups and downs that life brings with it, but she's a whole new person, bubbly, outgoing, happy.

  I love to hear this. I hope many lurking JW's with simular difficulties will get a clue from your daughter's experience.

  Jeff and Narkissos,

  Andie,

  God provides exactly what we need, when we need it, whether we recognize it or not

  I believe that too. We sometimes go through periods where we ignore it but it keeps happening.

  Steve
• 

  SPAZnik
• 

  Surreptitious

  Hi Steve, hope all is well.