by NowImFree 38 Replies latest watchtower beliefs
Thanks for posting you all. It has to be hard going to the meetings or talking to family trying to pretend you believe when you don't. I myself disassociated over 3 years ago because I researched and found out the truth about the "truth". It was scary at the time but now things are very good. Any more stories?
Hang in there,
NowImFree
Hi NowImFree,
I'd like to hear more of your story.
I still attend Sunday meetings 2 or 3 times a month. I believe in most of the basic doctrines, though no longer believe in the blood doctrine, df'ing/shunning, Christ's presence began in 1914 and a few others. I also believe that a Christian's relationship with God is personal, and that an org. has no right to impose or control. At most they should support Christians in their spiritual journeys. My main reason for staying is my family. I don't want to distress my mother and aunt, who would think I'd die at Armageddon if I left. I can also provide some balanced views to the young ones in the family regarding education and life matters, so that they don't feel guilty making more 'normal' choices.
I don't go in the field ministry and haven't for many years, but I do enjoy talking to people about the Bible.
If I found a religion with similar beliefs as JWs, without all the control and shunning and fear, it would be hard to stay with JWs. As of yet, I haven't found anything that I can get involved with. I don't believe in the Trinity, so that narrows the choices considerably.
Here's the info I put in my profile, if you want to wade through it.
Intro:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/102204/1.ashx
I'm a single mother of a 16 year old. I was baptized in 1982, and now consider myself a liberal JW who survives on the fringes of the congregation. I experience cognitive dissonance as a result of my beliefs. But I experience this on the job as well, and have learned how to cope with it. I don't know what the future holds for me in the JW org, but I have renewed my search for truth. I think I've gone through all the stages of grieving the loss of THE TRUTH, because right now, I accept my life and feel fairly content with my path at this point.
The long version:
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/103000/1779428/post.ashx#1779428 PS: The formatting is a bit off. Sorry about that.
I really don't know why I'm still going to the meetings (a lot less than ever before, but still attending). I have no family to lose and I think the friends that really matter will still be there for me, so I just can't explain it yet. I go through this gut-wrenching "will I or won't I go today" scenario every time meeting day comes around, and I think to myself that I need to stop the lunacy.
I recently heard of a situation where an inactive JW who was having surgery was contacted by someone from HLC without permission ever being given to them. My thought was: "how dare they insert themselves where they are not wanted or asked!" I'm still having a hard time coming to terms with that (and so is the person involved). I think the hospital should be sued, but don't know what the person will do.
Incidents like this help me see a little clearer each day what it is that I need to do. Also, WT articles like the one for this week make me want to write my letter and end it all. Hopefully soon . . .
Also, WT articles like the one for this week make me want to write my letter and end it all.
What article? Could you post it?
It's under the "Bible Research and Study Articles" section. Blondie did an excellent job (as usual) of really getting to the heart of the study.
Joyal
I haven't been active in FS for almost four years. I can't imagine EVER going in FS again. I attend meetings about 60 to 75% of the time. I would be identified a "spiritually weak". I have many questions about many of JW beliefs, but I have to admit, I still have fear that I have been trapped by satan. Big FEAR! I keep reading here on the JWD to exercise my mental muscles. It takes work! I also have family in but I am beginning to wonder if I couldn't make it without them.
As long as you became inactive and do not contribute anything to the WTS then that is good enough. Then you lead a double life just as the leaders of this organisation do, saying one thing to the R&F while doing another.
Still in it for my family. I could care less about dub "friends". I'm at alot of different meetings, conventions and assemblies but am one of those seat warmers. I've managed to keep an impression of spirituality within a narrow range of neutral/tepid/somewhatweak with all the witnesses that know me. So they'll still say hello to me out of courtesy and cuz I'm harmless.
good point Greendawn.
The WT corp will never see a penny from me. Even when I was a 'believer' I rarely contributed monetary funds,, It just seemed wrong, even at that time of my life.
Hi Serendipity,
You asked about my story, so I'll try to shorten a long story. I was raised as a JW by my mother, my dad never would buy into it. My two older brothers and older sister all bought into it in their late teens and became JWs. My oldest brother eventually was disfellowshipped for smoking and was shunned terribly by the rest of my family, he eventually committed suicide in 1986. I was newly divorced with two small babies at the time, I was in my early twenties and was studying with the witnesses to become baptized, even though I was absolutely devestated about my brother's death and the shunning, I was baptized anyway, still thought it was the truth. Shortly after this, I found out my little son who was just about to turn three years old, had been molested by an elder's teenage son at my hall. I went to the elders and the teenage boy admitted it to his father. They told me to forgive this boy and that I shouldn't go to the police because "the world doesn't know how to handle these kinds of situations". This haunted me for years and I eventually became inactive, although I did confide in a couple of sisters at the hall about what had happened to my son and how they handled it. By the way, the teenage boy who molested my son, got baptized a few months later and was constantly in the presence of children, which disgusted me. Then, during my inactive time, I found out my living brother, who had become an elder, also had a case of molestation happen in his family. His step son's 6 year old daughter was molested by an elders son. My brother's step son and his wife decided to press charges and the guy who was 17 or 18 when he did it, was charged and went to prison. The elders had told my brother's step son that they were wrong on pressing charges and that they should drop the charges, the entire congregation turned against my brother's family and they believed the elder's son who was denying that he had done anything wrong. Even though there was physical evidence and the little girl was having all kinds of emotional problems consistent with sexual abuse, plus she told them what he had done to her while he was supposed to be baby sitting. My brother's family had to move to another state. So even though the guy was convicted and went to prison, the congregation was sympathetic for that guy and his family instead of my brother's family. Would you believe my brother is still and elder in another state after all that? You would think that would have made him see. Anyway, after all this unbelievable stuff, I kept thinking, how can this be God's visible organization, how can we be saying we are in a "clean" organization with all of the terrible stuff going on. I was disgusted, then I see the Dateline program, I didn't even know it was coming on, I just happened to see it and I was so angry and shocked when I saw it. I realized that what happened in my family was happening among JWs all over the world and that it was being covered up because they didn't want the publicity, they wanted these cases buried. I knew then something was very very wrong. I started praying to Jehovah to show me the truth and if I didn't have the truth, to show me what is the truth. I then started reading the gospels, then the rest of the new testament. I was blown away, I felt like I had read the bible for the first time in my life. It pretty much came alive to me and I saw one discrepancy after another between what the bible says and what the JWs teach. All the JW doctrines started to crumble and I started to do research on the organizations history. I started to see that the organization is a false prophet and completely deceptive and the most deceptive teachings of their's I feel are about Christ and who he is. The whole new testament is focused on Christ but they do not put the most focus on him, that is for sure. Basically, I feel God deprogrammed me and he showed me that the truth is in Christ, he is the way, the life and the truth. Everything else is lies taught by men who want to control people. I am a Christian now, and I do believe that Jehovah and Jesus are one, I believe Jesus is God in the flesh. I came to that conclusion for myself just from prayer and reading the bible and researching.
Sorry, I know my story that I was going to try to keep short turned out really long.
NowImFree
