Internally: I'm forever a JW

Thegoodgirl

I just can't shake it. My deep down personal self-image is that I'm a JW. I was at my grandma's today in another city (she's Catholic), and lo and behold, they knock at the door. I answered it, and knew immediately who they were. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to tear them apart here. These were two really genuinely nice sisters who were out preaching in the cold in a mostly empty neighborhood, and I just felt sorry for them, and at the same time could totally relate.

I couldn't help but feeling like I was talking to FAMILY. Like these were my people. Probably two pioneers. They were looking for Deaf people in the area (probably from the local sign-language congregation.)

Anyway, whenever I run into JWs, I feel like I'm home again, and feel totally comfortable. Anyone else know what I mean? (By the way, I was raised a JW since age 2.)

Poztate

I couldn't help but feeling like I was talking to FAMILY. Like these were my people. Probably two pioneers. They were looking for Deaf people in the area (probably from the local sign-language congregation.)

Yes ...many of the PEOPLE involved can be nice. It because they don't know the facts about the cult.The people at the top dictate policy and they are the ones who destroy so many lives with their lies. Investigate deeper and you will see what I mean.

www.freeminds.org

MerryMagdalene

Anyway, whenever I run into JWs, I feel like I'm home again, and feel totally comfortable. Anyone else know what I mean? (By the way, I was raised a JW since age 2.)

Nope. Sorry. Can't relate.

and I just felt sorry for them,

This, however, I can relate to. There are some very sweet, caring, dedicated JWs. And some of them are my family. I love them dearly. And I wish they were free to serve Christ instead of a non-prophet publishing company. And free to talk to me.

(By the way, I was raised a JW since before I was born. LOL. Several generations worth.)

~Merry...loving her enemies and praying for themas best I can

Lady Lee

There is a part of me that can relate. I was in so long. It was home and safety.

But I have come to realize that for me, just because something feels like home, doesn't mean it is good for me. I know if I ran into a JW I might feel that homey feeling again. I can slid back into the old ways of talking ---- until I told them I was DFed. Then I would be the stranger kicked to the curb.

After years of trying to recover from the WTS, I have learned that I felt so at home within the WT walls because it mirrored the abuse and control I lived under before my family ever joined the JWs. We learn to feel comfortable with what we know. That doesn't mean it is good or good for us. It simply means it is familiar and we have learned the rules to live within those walls.

I find it hard to try something different. But different for me means there is a better chance of not being hurt if I walk away from those "familiar" feelings. They weren't safe then. They certainly aren't safe for me now.

But Yes I understand the feeling

Virgogirl

Lady Lee, are you feeling better now?

Lady Lee

almost back to normal - thanks for asking

NowImFree

Thegoodgirl,

Yes, I can relate. JWs are usually people who are really searching for God. They are just very deceived and being taken advantage of and used. It is sad, and I feel really sorry for the many nice ones because they honestly feel they are doing the right thing, just like I did. I try to tell myself that many will wake up and get out eventually. That is what I hope for with my family.

NowImFree

Scully

I just can't shake it. My deep down personal self-image is that I'm a JW. I was at my grandma's today in another city (she's Catholic), and lo and behold, they knock at the door. I answered it, and knew immediately who they were. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to tear them apart here. These were two really genuinely nice sisters who were out preaching in the cold in a mostly empty neighborhood, and I just felt sorry for them, and at the same time could totally relate.
I couldn't help but feeling like I was talking to FAMILY. Like these were my people. Probably two pioneers. They were looking for Deaf people in the area (probably from the local sign-language congregation.)
Anyway, whenever I run into JWs, I feel like I'm home again, and feel totally comfortable. Anyone else know what I mean? (By the way, I was raised a JW since age 2.)

I know the feeling well too.

Someone once compared this feeling to being born in a foreign country and having a native language that was different from what you use now. If you came across someone accidentally who spoke your native language, it would be exciting, it would be a welcome experience, and you would have an instant bond and camraderie with that person. Even if you later found out that they were a criminal, that wouldn't change your perception of the encounter you had with them, presuming it was a positive one.

I've said this before and so have a lot of others: Many individual JWs can be some of the nicest, most pleasant and friendly people. They are sincere in their beliefs and they feel that what they are doing is God's Work™. You can't help but like them. I have family members who are JWs, and in spite of our differences in beliefs, I know deep down that they are doing what they feel is the good and right thing to do with their lives. I think they're misguided and misled, and they think I'm misguided and misled. I don't have a problem with them as individuals ... I have a problem with the policies and procedures of the Organization™ they worship.

tryagain

took me about 8-10 years to shake it, but yes I can relate.

But I'm so much better off now than I was before.

When I would feel like that; I'd consider that I would feel the same way regardless of the cult I was involved in.

It's not a truth vs. false prophecy thing. It's a 'this is all I've known' thing.

Take your time with life and make your own fond memories and the rest will fall into place.

Siddhashunyata

I've thought about that feeling. I concluded that it is the feeling of being back where someone else is doing the thinking (WTBTS) and I'm only responsible to do what they say. I'm responsible for the obedience that's all . Mindless obedience with the approval and support of one's peers, very comfortable. Child like. It's a form of dependency. If you were to return, unless you would deny your conscience, the truth would keep pounding at your heart until you would choose to be authentic .You would ask a thoughtful question . You would be given a thoughtless answer. You would ask the question again and eyebrows would go up. You would become a problem...... you would become independent . You would approach ground zero where you would be willing to reveal what you think, take responsibility for it , and ................ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES. You would become a threat to AUTHORITY. Of course you wouldn't mind authority, you just would want a satisfying answer to your question. The problem is that the answer itself would undermine the authority so the Authority would eliminate the question, and you would go with the question. Can't be any other way in a high control group like Jehovah's Witnesses.

Internally: I'm forever a JW

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