by MsMcDucket 42 Replies latest social humour
...when you allow your kids to stay home on Saturday to watch cartoons.
...you starting wearing crosses as jewelry again.
...you're seriously thinking about getting that ankle tattoo. (women)
...you don't answer the door when a JW knocks.
...you seriously are thinking about playing the gospel song "Oh Happy Day!" instead of the Kingdom melodies at the beginning of the meeting.
When you enjoy attending the religious services of a real church, or when you treat the disfell/ed with kindness or when you smile knowingly during the KH talks.
Your probably an apostate if you...
Read "Gospel Fictions" by Randel Helms -
Suck on your finger when you've cut yourself...
Rent "Van Helsing" from Netflix.com...
Own a red two-door coupe...
Laugh at the Blue Collar guys when they do the "Big Deck" scenes...
Call only your siblings "brothers and sisters"...
Juan V
When you go to visit Spain, see this and automatically go into convulsions asking the tour guide-"What is this? Some kind of sick joke?!"
...you eagerly await the latest issue of the magazines...so you can create funny covers for them.
You say words like Jehhooober, and Botchtower and Asleep, and Mag Rags
The word “appropriate” makes you shudder.
You realize that being “wordly” is actually a desirable and good thing.
Your netflix queue contains movies everyone your age already saw fifteen years ago.
You madly go through your closet to make sure you don’t have any more of those gawd awful ankle length flower print skirts.
When you see old mags someone left at the clinic or laundry mat you pick them up and toss them in the garbage.
You giggle after saying the word demonic.
You celebrate the holidays with people other than your parents, grandparents, cousins, etc.
You have boxes of old literature in your garage and only take them out, and dust them off when you need to scan pictures to post on a xjw discussion board.
-Doodle-V
The only time you put on a suit and tie is when you and your boyfriend are role playing.
Scene: A minister of Jehovah is preaching door to door the good news of the kingdom.
Knocks on door: tap tap tap
[A man opens the door, wrapped in a towel, he's just stepped out of the shower.]
The house holder slowly smiles, notices the beads of sweat on the JW's forehead, asks how he his, and keeps smiling.
JW: <voice crackes slightly> I'm go^od thank you, my name is [[silently in the back of the JW's mind he hears a voice..."mmmm this guy is HOT, I wonder if he'd let me tie him up with my tie...]] [[at the same time another aspect of our JW's mind is panicing...OMG!]] ...and I'm in ^crack^ your neighborhood sharing a scripture with folks...
House holder: "Why don't you come inside for a minute...or two [[heh heh heh]] and cool off? Can I offer you something?"
Our JW, shaking like a and feeling decides to go for it, as he is already going to burn in Gehenna. After a shot of Amaretto, followed by another of Jägermeister, promtly picks the house holder up and sets him on top of the grand piano, sans towel. Now that he's feeling a bitas opposed to...........
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Writing good porn roles must take a lot of work, or my brain is just scrambled a bit. Maybe I'll try again sometime. (I don't think so.)
Oh come on, why did I have to kill this thread?
When someone asks you "JW's don't believe in Jesus, right?"... you say "err.. yep... whatever"
darkuncle:
I LOVED it!! you are awesome.....kinda got me worked up!!
Your netflix que contains movies everyone else saw 15 years agoLOL!! you've somehow managed to look in my netflix account!!
