If you have to give anything, just make it change. A couple of quarters or such. Most of the counters hate change so much that if they see change they will take the change throw in a dollar or two so they don't have to deal with the coins on the paperwork. I do know of one individual who dropped a jar (and I mean a big jar) of pennies in the box. Lucky brothers who had to count that one.
Is there any way I can just cream skim the Truth????
The good plan for you is to stage a fake accident at home- fall off a ladder and have a fake head injury. Bad headaches- intense pain- start rambling during the WT study- bring a drool cup- yell out- study how to do a tourettes syndrome outburst. Pretty soon you won't have to go to the KH meetings or out in service , and no elders will ask why you don't come to the meetings anymore , you have a doctors slip! -and then, your headache will go away for good. good luck, Moshe
I do know of one individual who dropped a jar (and I mean a big jar) of pennies in the box.
A friend and I did that when we were seven and we got in trouble with an MS.
If your wife LOVES you and from your post I can only assume she does, then talk to her. Seriously, every woman that is madly and deeply in love with her husband would rather know the truth about his feelings than live a lie. You don't have to tell her everything, just tell her that you aren't interested in anymore door-to-door service. Tell her that your relationship with God is personal, you pray, you've spent a lot of time thinking about it and you just don't want to do it anymore. Leave it at that. Give her time to digest it.
The problem in the organization is that they have never taught UNconditional love. Every relationship has all these stupid conditions attached and they act like God has the same problem they do... that God will only love people that do all the following things, meetings, service, loyalty to the Watchtower society. YET, Jesus himself was a member of a religious organization that was corrupt and he denounced them, hung out with the tax collectors and prostitutes. He taught real genuine love. That entire philosophy of Jesus has been lost on most JWs. He got rid of the "rules" and he told us we didn't have to jump through hoops anymore. That sacrificing a dove on an alter or going out for 5-10 hours of "field service" a month would make you righteous in the eyes of God.
Love covers over a multitude of sins they says.... so have a bit of faith in her ability to love you for who you are and where you are. Be a good husband, a good provider, a wonderful lover. Trust me on this, most wives want romance, flowers, loving cards, being taken out for romantic dinners and moonlit walks. No woman is sitting at home pining that her husband went out in "service" more and how that would be more romantic. Be as honest as you can and you will not only avoid ulcers but you might find a bit of peace for yourself.
Living a double life is hard on your body, your soul, your conscience, and will cause ulcers and stress.
I am wishing you the best of luck.... and this is coming from an ex-regular pioneer that never thought there would come a day when I didn't believe 110% in that organization. I was through and through a believer.... but things can change.
Hey there, HiddenQuestioner! Sounds like a plan. I only have a few suggestions.
For step 5, how about inserting unobtrusive bookmarks in your placements? That way, you provide a discreet anti-witness. Here's some examples:
How about a step 7, some real-live bible studies with your wife? I know the WTBTS pays lip service to the idea, but then doesn't allow any time in the busy JW schedule. TheListener is doing this with his wife, using the assigned scriptures each week. He solicits our advice here on JWD on discreet questions and observations to insert in the study. Amazing1914 used such a family bible study to gradually introduce "independent thinking" to his family. Instead of parroting answers, his family were allowed to freely comment. I think such studies are a great mind-releasing tool.
Oh, yes, though I am a never-JW, I can barely tolerate the pablum dished out at the meetings these days. My (blank) notebook is my saviour. I (blank) out the speaker and write and write. I actually find the drone to be a useful "white noise" that helps me concentrate and really get creative. AND my activity appears completely harmless.
I think alot of us here have been in a similiar situation-----I feel for you. I decided that I just couldn't continue to live in such a loveless,hypocritical world. I confessed to my husband how unhappy I was and it was really difficult for him at first but, soon he started telling me about all of the doubts he'd had for most of his life. Remember that most witnesses internalize everything. Your wife probably has doubts too. We are just so afraid to confide those doubts to other dubs because of the gestapo like tactics employed and encouraged. How sad that we feel we can't even tell the person closest to us that we have questions for fear of losing them. You can try to skim and it may work for you for awhile but, eventually a toll will be taken. Your marriage may suffer regardless and I'm guessing your sense of self will as well. For everything that I lost in leaving the org, I have gained such a powerful sense of freedom. I am truly happy and at peace with myself and the world that I live in. No more guilt. Priceless. Good luck to you and have alittle faith in yourself. Curlygirl
My happy 1 st marriage was lost because she quit both me and the “Truth”
See if she's still available........if you were happy and no longer want to be in the Borg, I say leave wife #2 and the religion and get back wife #1.
It's very difficult going to all the meetings knowing that most of it is based on lies. That's the kicker. If they weren't so damn judgemental towards the rest of the world and all smug and patting themselves on the back, it would be tolerable. I tried what you did and I managed it for a few years, but it just got to the point where I couldn't stand the constant "DO MORE! DO MORE! DO MORE!" and I was soooo sick of hearing the catch phrases like "lack of appreciation" "can we do more" "do you support your book study" "don't lose sight of the New System" "have you lost your faith?" "materialism" "reach out for privledges" "the Faithful & Discreet Slave says.."
It's a tough situation and only you can make the choice. You might think you can indeed skim the Truth, and you might be able to for a while, but one day, you'll probably end up leaving altogether. If all else fails, I say try Moshe's advice: fake an accident at home - fall off a ladder and have a fake head injury. Develop "amnesia" and pretend you don't remember anything about your former life as a Dub.
When you don't tell yourself the truth you distort reality and lose your bearings.
Imagine if tomorrow, when you wake up, money had varying value and was not necessarily the denomination printed or stamped on it. For example, you go to pay for a pack of chewing gum and it suddenly costs $10. Then, your paycheck comes marked $.75 for two weeks' work!
Could you live with that kind instability?
But, when you lie to yourself about the value of truth in everyday situations it is just as crazy!
Your wife is living a lie and you are helping her do that by ENABLING her fantasy delusion about the value of the "counsel" given in the Watchtower.
Why enable a lie?
Will she be disoriented if you leave the Watchtower control? Sure!
But, it will be a dose of REALITY and not a continued fantasy.
If your wife was sick; would you knowingly administer a placebo and take her to quack doctors?
No. That would be criminal negligence.
So, why do it when her view of reality is sick?
Living a real life requires that we see what is real and distinguish it from what is make-believe. Don't you see that?
Why should you be a part of the problem when you can be part of the solution to the problem?
Would you leave your wife to burn inside a house afire just because it will be uncomfortable leaving all the possessions behind in the middle of the night and running out in the street in her nightgown? Should you allow her time to get dressed?
Get your perspective straight.
Your decision is a no-brainer, really, when you come down to it.
You can't just pick and chose which part of the truth you like and don't like, its all or nothing. Hot or cold, there is no Luke warm, if you do things by half measures the Elders will be onto you.
3. In tandem with the above, I will seek and nurture my good and fun-to-be-with adult professional “worldly” friends to the exclusion of lesser friends I find in the “Truth”
I *really* wish I could have done this, unfortunately worldly association dragged me down despite my best intentions. My congregation was Elderly and what few peers I had in the truth got married and moved away or where far to spiritual to hang out with me. I got so lonely I had to leave for my own sanity .
4. Keep an open free mind and look at and participate (for the good) in this very interesting, helpful and often encouraging web site. (BTW, thanks again to all those postings that have helped me “clear” my head on some things.)
You won't be able to do that either, Look up IP_SEC's profile on here (sorry Matt) and check out some of his first postings. Here we have a ministerial poster boy, someone we probably would have all looked up to and would have wanted to be like but by his own admission he had a "pinhole in his spiritual armour. He had tiny little doubts about what he was being told at the KH, doubts over stupid things, things that didn't *really* matter. So he came here looking for answers and suddenly that pinhole became a great big hole. For better or worse Matt, "Poster Boy" is now out of the Org and that's what will happen to you eventually if you stay here.
...Appologies to Matt for using him as an example