What would you expect Jesus to say if he gave a talk at a Kingdom Hall? (page 2)

blondie

(Matthew 15:1-11) 15 Then there came to Jesus from Jerusalem Pharisees and scribes, saying: 2 "Why is it your disciples overstep the tradition of the men of former times? For example, they do not wash their hands when about to eat a meal." 3 In reply he said to them: "Why is it YOU also overstep the commandment of God because of YOUR tradition? 4 For example, God said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Let him that reviles father or mother end up in death.’ 5 But YOU say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother: "Whatever I have by which you might get benefit from me is a gift dedicated to God," 6 he must not honor his father at all.’ And so YOU have made the word of God invalid because of YOUR tradition. 7 YOU hypocrites, Isaiah aptly prophesied about YOU, when he said, 8 ‘This people honors me with their lips, yet their heart is far removed from me. 9 It is in vain that they keep worshiping me, because they teach commands of men as doctrines.’" 10 With that he called the crowd near and said to them: "Listen and get the sense of it: 11 Not what enters into [his] mouth defiles a man; but it is what proceeds out of [his] mouth that defiles a man."

greendawn

Take all the wealth of the WTS confiscate it and give to the poor because it is written: "do not build treasures on earth but in heavens". If they had done so before they would have a greater treasure with my Father but now it was taken away from them, from this unworthy evil slave.

Hellrider

"You vipers, you are worse than the Pharisees! And you`re all gonna burn in Gehenna and the lake of fiiiiire!!! Oh, and well, I`m here now. So now you can all go home."

Jourles

"Where are we going and why am I in this giant handbasket with the rest of you?"

JeffT

Listen carefully

I am God manifest in the flesh. I am not an angel. I was not created. The old temple system is gone, you don't need a publishing company. There is no organization, two people that want to sit down and talk about me are having a meeting. If you want something come ask, I won't bite your head off.

Stop turning in all those reports and selling (yes I said SELLING) those magazines, you're killing the trees.

Be nice to each other and even non-Christian, what you do now may be how you are treated in the future.

undercover

"Anybody got a big fat doobie we can burn? Like, I need to chill, 'cause I'm so hyper having to give this bogus talk, dude."

doogie

"Screw this. let's get outta here. who's hungry? i feel like i haven't eaten in years."

Jourles

"Oh, and I would appreciate it if people would stop trying to stick their finger into my side. How would you like it if I came up to you and gave you a wet willie in your ear?"

gaiagirl

"Jesus" is scheduled to appear on "The Book of Daniel" tonight on NBC. Perhaps he will say something which will give insight as to what his kingdom hall talk might be like :) Some of the local churches started an effort to force the local NBC affiliate to not broadcast the show, calling it "an attack on Christianity". However the station manager released a statement which basically said "The show may not be for everyone. Use your own judgement. If you don't like it, don't watch it." I am impressed with his stand, and think he might be suitable as a Supreme Court Justice.

Scully

You have been weighed in the balances and found wanting.

The days of your kingdom are numbered; your kingdom has been divided and has been given to JWD.

What would you expect Jesus to say if he gave a talk at a Kingdom Hall?

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