Don't forget to give in your time sheets?
What would you expect Jesus to say if he gave a talk at a Kingdom Hall?
by JH 35 Replies latest jw friends
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AuldSoul
"THIS is what you thought I meant? Get an effing clue, you freakish Pharisee wannabes! No, I don't want you to pay for my meal after this talk. Pay for some meals for the Tsunami victims, you retards! Or the homeless in your community."
Or...something like that.
But, actually, it would go more like this: "I would like to take this opportunity to publicly state that I no longer wish to be viewed as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. Please stop calling me one. I am not. I was not. I never will be one. The sooner you start shunning me, the sooner I will rid of the slander from you anti-social freaks."
AuldSoul
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AlmostAtheist
What part of "love among yourselves" are you having trouble grasping?
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calico
Wow--what a thought! I would love to hear that talk!
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ButtLight
Dear Brothers, it has come to my attention that you are not following in my footsteps, for as I look at you all, I see nothing but bald faces and short hair!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Frannie Banannie
He couldn't give a talk at a KH, because he wouldn't qualify for baptism. If he HAD qualified for baptism, he'd be labelled as "apostate" by the WTS heirarchy by the time he qualified to give talks.
Frannie
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prophecor
For those of you who think you represent me and all that I stand for regarding righteousness, mercy and truth, Y'all Suck, Big Time!!!
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stillAwitness
"Who?! Oh man, okay, looks like this talk is gonna take longer than I expected!"
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NeonMadman
"Woe to you, elders and ministerial servants, you hypocrites! You tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but you yourselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.
You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and selfindulgence. Blind cultist! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside also will be clean.
Woe to you, elders and ministerial servants, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness. "
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AlmostAtheist
He couldn't give a talk at a KH, because he wouldn't qualify for baptism.
Frannie wins! Love it!
Dave