Shunned by a JW leading a double life

by misspeaches 29 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  misspeaches

  I seriously do not understand how some people reason. If they do reason at all.

  My boyfriend has been friends with a couple of guys since highschool. It turns out that both these guys are JW's. Their whole families are JWs and they still attend meetings. We'll call the guys Richard and David. David doesn't talk to his dad and didn't invite him to his wedding because dad is disphellowshipped after having disagreed with the society. (Dad also come to our little apostafest last year coincedentally...)

  Richard is aware that I am a fader. I have seen him a couple of times before and he usually says hello. But I think now he's decided I am bad news. David didn't realise my association with the dubs.

  New Years Eve... We are invited to a friends house. BF and I had plans already but stopped by there for an hour first to say hello and hob nob as you do... Who should turn up but Richard and David along with their wives. Richard looked at me upon his arrival with utter disdain. I could tell he was not expecting to see me there. Everytime I talked to David or their wives he glared at me. He blatantly ignored me even when I tried to say hello. I felt so absolutely insulted.

  What really got to me? Lets see... Richard smokes when his wife is not around. I've seen him do it a few times. On NYE when he was offered a cigarette he got all flustered and did this song and dance routine of not smoking all the time glaring at me. I guess the wife is not aware of his little habit. Richard has sleep overs with a female friend of his. Richard and David announced they would be getting drunk that night. Richard referred to his plans to take ecstacy that night and then got really upset realising what he had said and quickly exiting the room.

  How can this guy - doing all these things that are clearly not acceptable to the WTBTS sit there and shun me like that? How can David shun his father? Apparently he does all these things too? Why are they any better than I am? In fact without bignoting myself I think I am the better person. At least I don't go to meetings/witnessing etc pretending to be spiritual and everything.

  There's just no reasoning behind it. I feel like dobbing them in anonymously. (Maybe thats evil miss peaches thinking...)
• 

  SWALKER

  Well, I think he isn't necessarily snubbing you but fears that you might OUT him and just doesn't know what to say or do about his situation. He sounds like a very confused person at the moment. Maybe you should think about having a chat with the two of them and pointing out that while you don't care what THEY do, you do care about how they treat others in the process. Shunning others while they are doing the same, if not worse, is pure hypocrisy!!!

  Swalker
• 

  myself

  Richard = H-y-p-o-c-r-i-t-e
• 

  misspeaches

  SWALKER - see this is why I come here to get some perspective on issues.

  I completely hadn't considered it from that angle. That they may be scared of what I may say or do.

  The BF and I are planning to get married at the end of the year and he wants to invite them along. I have already told him that not until we have sorted out this shunning nonsense first will they be invited to our wedding.
• 

  Es

  hey hun im with swalker on this one, he prob is s#$t scarred you will rat on him.

  es
• 

  BLISSISIGNORANCE

  YOU ARE KIDDING ME RIGHT?????????????????

  what the hell are those people thinking?

  oooooooohhhhhhhh, how revolting. they are who i think they are right? as if they can look at anyone with a glare. maybe they should keep an eye on their little girl cousin, now that she's reinstated and all..........but then angain they will probably all sit around together and have a smoke and eccie tab on saturday and go to the meeting on sunday. god i'm glad i'm away, not from the smokers or drug poppers but from the double life and hypocricy.

  by the way miss..................congrats. keeping it from your loved guts friend LOL

  is a phone call in order??????????? who rings?
• 

  TallTexan

  Well, I think he isn't necessarily snubbing you but fears that you might OUT him and just doesn't know what to say or do about his situation.

  Yeah, this was my first thought too.

  Funny story. When I was married, my wife was a healthcare recruiter. She had recruited this guy for the local hospital and he came into town for a visit. We, being inactive at the time, took him to a few local bars and he proceeded to get loaded and talk about picking up women, and how loose were the chicks in this town, etc.

  Well he took the job. A few months later, we made the Memorial (at least we still did that) and lo and behold, who was one of the ushers? This guy. He took one look at us and about dropped over from fright. He didn't say two words to us that night because I'm sure he wanted to put as much distance between his actions and us as possible.

  Basically, Richard and David are typical weak witnesses - they rationalize that anything they do is o.k., because even though they are weak they at least still believe. My friends that give me such a hard time about being an 'apostate' drink too much, have many family issues, visit strip bars, smoke pot, but they have the nerve to tell me that I'm SO WRONG!!! Typical JW hypocrisy......
• 

  Odrade

  Hahaha! omg, that's such a funny story, and so typical. Yeah, I'll bet he's scared to death you'll rat him out. So he's going to be all nasty and try to intimidate you so you won't tell on him. LOL! He's an Idiot.
• 

  curlygirl

  I wonder how long it will be before he starts spreading trash about you.

  Look out. He has to make you look bad so that no one will believe you if you happen to mention to anyone what he's been up too. Its a tried and true dub tactic.

  curlygirl
• 

  InquiryMan

  I guess quite often "weak witnesses" or DF witnesses due to "moral" deficiencies often still think it is the truth, and thus are not free from the JWs bondage. Whereas those who have taken a stand because of theological or ethical differences have discarded the JW belief system and might have morally upright lives, even matching JW standards. However, the latter is more abhorred by the JWs because of having abandoned the Truth...