What will it be like when I finally D'A MYSELF?

by stillAwitness 21 Replies latest watchtower bible

  • stillAwitness
    stillAwitness

    I have the feeling that 2006 will be that year. I finally told my brother about my feelings toward the WT (he was never baptized) and I'm still waiting for him to respond through email.

    How do you mentally prepare for it?

    What kind of feelings will I expierence once I make that step? If I simply just fade away will my parents eventually continue speaking with me?

    Its all so scary! Just wanted to know your thoughts.

  • SWALKER
    SWALKER

    You will see this blinding white light and then you'll be floating on clouds and it will seem as if you are in heaven...well, not exactly. It will feel good though!

    It definately takes some getting used to, but the best advice I can offer is to make another life Before you completely give it up. Have other friends (you may already) and be prepared for the response you might get from your parents! Hope it works out good for you.

    Swalker

  • AlmostAtheist
    AlmostAtheist

    Unles you have a specific theological need to DA (like you feel a need to separate yourself officially from the god-dishonoring Watchtower) I think you'd be better off to fade. You still live at home, right? But you'll move out at some point. Then you'll be pretty free to do whatever you like.

    Fading means you'll need to be sure you don't get caught doing something un-JW, like smoking or holidays or going to a church. If you aren't going to do those things anyway, then fading's the way to go. If you think you might, then fading could turn into a burden you aren't willing to bear. Still, it lasts until you get caught. (And those angels aren't nearly as sharp about getting you caught as we were led to believe! )

    I wanted to fade, but I wanted to not lie, not deceive, and not avoid doing holidays openly. It didn't work out, and I got DF'd.

    Good luck!

    Dave

  • Honesty
    Honesty
    How do you mentally prepare for it?

    Send letters to everyone in the congregation detailing the reasons you are leaving the security of the Governing Body of JW's.

  • stillAwitness
    stillAwitness

    Dave you're right. I should become a Fader! I hope to live in another state anyway and that will make it much easier to be independant and start living for myself.

    Gosh AlmostAtheist...you're always right on.

    I think I'm in love.

  • evita
    evita

    I faded when I was your age. My boyfriend at the time was really excited about me cutting off all ties by sending a DA letter. I think he was itching for some drama. But there was enough drama without a formal disassociation and I really just wanted to quietly fade. It worked quite well but my mom still shunned me.
    I think it's a good idea to create some outside life before leaving the witnesses. I also found counseling to be helpful.
    Best wishes to you.
    Eva

  • unbeliever
    unbeliever

    No way would I write a letter of DA or agree to meet with them. Live your life and if they want to df you they will find a reason one way or the other. Until then at least you can still maintain contact with your family if that is your desire.

  • Dune
    Dune

    I'm so with you. I dont know if i'm going to DA myself, just fade out. But 2006 seems like a pretty good year as any. Good luck ;-).

  • Ticker
    Ticker

    Try the fade if you don't feel the need to officially seperate. Even if you are discovered later on and dis-associated it's not a big deal because you carry no real ties with them. Fading may give you time to recover and start a new life free of their control.

    Ticker

  • Laney
    Laney

    I just thought I'd let you know about my partner. He decided to fade, so that he could still see his son(who we now have living with us anyway). His father is an elder, and his father knows that he now smokes, lives in sin, has a child with me without being married, the list goes on. It can be a case of out of sight, out of mind. We live 150 miles away and see his family twice a year.

    You don't always have to hide what you are doing to be a fader!

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